i have just split from my sons mother. he is only 9 months, any thing that you would say do or dont do.
or any thing that helped the situation.
2007-03-01 09:47:52 · 15 answers · asked by deltagremlin 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just don't burn any bridges because whether or not she is WITH you. You will have to see her for the rest of your son's childhood.
Keep a civil relationship with her otherwise you may never see your son.
2007-03-01 09:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by E 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4get the relationship with the mum 4 now, get visitation n finances sorted asap and stick to it. That way u will always have yr son and if u r interested in what the mum thinks of u, u will gain a great deal of respect from her. Dont b the 1 to mess with yr sons emotions by bad mouthing the mum. no matter who u think is right or wrong, accept that relationships break down and the quicker u can get yrself 2geva the better. If u do this the right way, u will have the best time with your son, u will get a chance to introduce him to many things that his mum doesnt have the time or energy to do, he will c u as abreath of fresh air, sum1 who brightens up his life - i knw its hard not being with him daily, but think of the positive, no washing, no cleaning, no tantrums, just fun. and u probably wont haveto tell him off very often as u will both b having too much of a good time. Also, u must say good things about his mum, bcos no matter what she is he will love her and if u dont point out her good points and only support his gripes with her, although he will appreciate leaning on you, he will feel torn, his loyalties will b challenged and thats when the real problems start. He cld associate love with backstabbing, and will suffer later. theres so mant other do's n donts, but i'l run out of internet space if i keep going on.lol. Good luk, u have a really important job on yr hands, keep asking wheneva yr nt sure what 2 do, wish i had had the internet when i went thru my split,
2007-03-01 10:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by Claire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay in his life. be a dad. don't disappear. and pay child support!!! also don't ever ever forget a birthday - if you have no money, call the child at least. If you are in the same town, be connected, babysit. Take him to breakfast every saturday morning so its dad-son time -- a memory and bond you will always have.
The best thing my ex and I did was stay on somewhat friendly terms - hard work sometimes, but now he and his wife stay at our house when they come in from out of town.
I can tell you from experience how hurtful it is when the dad forgets about you, when it seems that anything is more important than your dad calling, or remembering special things (favorite color, what grade you are in etc).
Good luck.
2007-03-01 09:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is not much you can do the only thing you can do is still try to be in his life. I grew up in foster care from the age of 13 til I was a adult my parents didn't care to be in our lives now I have a hard time trying to raise my one year old daughter cause I didn't have that love knowing that exleast they cared. I also have a 7year old I still talk to her from time to time she doesn't know I am her mother but when the time comes to tell the truth she can never say AIwas not invokled in her life
2007-03-01 09:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by lil brat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of things are happened in the world but please support your child as much as you can: emotionally, financially ext. My friend has 2 kids and she divorced her husband something 4 years ago... Now kids are 11 and nearly 10. After first year he see them less often and by now his kids are lucky to see him once a month. Don't be like that! Your ex is your ex but your kiddo is always present. keep that.
2007-03-01 09:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Everona97 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whatever happened between you and her remember at one time you loved each other enough to have a child you dont say how the split went but keep it civil dont slag each other off and never put the childs mother down in front of him
2007-03-01 09:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is no chance of the two of you getting back together,just avoid using your child as a weapon..He's the one who will suffer the most so make every effort to keep things friendly...
2007-03-01 09:54:19 · answer #7 · answered by trish b 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have 2 kids. i left their mother 5 years ago. all i can tell u is that u need to talk to them a s much as possible. make sure that u love ur child unconditonally and make sure ur kid knows that. and spend evey possible moment with ur child. my ex is getting re-married and her soon to be husband wants to be a dad to my kids. i don't let my kids know that it pissed me off and i never talk bad about him. so that way i don't lose the respect of my kids. always make sure that when ur child gets older that u show him that u are the dad and that u love him more than life itself. someday he will ask why u left. just tell ur son that u divorced his mother and not him.
2007-03-01 09:53:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
pay child support, get a visitation agreement, dont ever say anything bad about the mother, move on
2007-03-01 09:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by Jillary von Hämsterviel™ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear about that, but dont let it keep you from your son. if she wont let you visit with him go to court and file for joint custody. he should be the priority right now. do everything you can to make your son feel loved by you, not abandoned. if you cant work out your relationship with his mother, let it go, but continue to be there physically and emotionally for him.
2007-03-01 09:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋