May be pregnant, and everyones already disappointed in me!?

Question

I'm 20 years old.

My whole family seems to already be disappointed in me because I have not gone to university yet. I'm working full time and trying to pay off a loan, but this does not seem good enough for them. Everyone is always on my back.

Ive now missed my period. I am very irregular, but I just have this feeling that I am pregnant. I also have very sore breasts and my appetite has changed. Next week if I still have not had my period, I am going to go to a doctor to get a pregnancy test.

My question is, if I AM pregnant, how do I tell my family without them hating me? I will not get an abortion, I do not believe in them and I think that my boyfriend and I would make fine parents.

Thanks!

Oh, I should add my mom had me when she was 19 so she will understand, just not the rest of my family.

Answer 1

Dont worry about what they think. I know they are your family, but you are an adult, and you are able to make your own choices.. If you are pregnant be honest with everybody and let them know that this baby is going to be apart of the family, and they are going to have to except just that.. I was 21 when I had my daughter, and I had planned on going to college but it just wasnt the right time for me.. I myself was working and trying to be independent.. When I became pregnant. It seemed to bring all of us "my family and I" closer together. I am now going on 23 with my 2nd, and my family couldnt be happier.. Best of Luck,, and remember be honest thats what parents want more then anything...

Answer 2

If your pregnant then you have a tough situation. But I think you should relax for right now. You don't know if your pregnant yet, so don't start freaking out already. Stress can cause you to miss your period so this wont help. Wait a little and then take a test.
If you are pregnant then you should tell your boyfriend first. Ask him to help you tell your mom. You said that your mom will understand so tell her after you tell your boyfriend. Then ask her to help you tell the rest of your family. She's already been through it if she had you at 19. Then you can tell them together or on your own. I hope your mom helps you through it.
In the end it doesn't matter what other people think. This will be your baby, not theirs. Obviously, it would be better if everyone supported you but that might not be the case. You will have to decide within yourself that their anger/disappointment is their own problem. Show great judgment and responsibility and you can be proud of yourself. They may come around later, most people can't resist a baby. When they do, welcome them.
Either way, this baby will have all the love in the world. I hope your family can share in that.
You can't force them to be happy if their not. But at least some of them will come around eventually.
Good luck!!

Answer 3

First of all, let me say I am impressed by what you have said here. you sound very mature for your age and I think you are making a great decision. Trust me...your parents will get over it. It make take some time but it will happen. When i was 17 I got pregnant and my younger brother ended up telling them at the dinner table "pass the ketchup, Rachel is pregnant". YEA..not good. They went on and on about how disappointed they were and even suggested abortion or adoption. My son is now 11 and my parents love him to pieces! I was forced into marriage (not suggested) and had another child at 20 and was left alone. It is difficult, but its SO WORTH IT!! I'm now married to a wonderful man and we have baby #3 on the way. I think it great that your boyfriend is behind you in this. Just come right out and tell your parents and if they wont support you, then just give them some time and hopefully they will come around. I wish you the best of luck in whatever happens!

Answer 4

When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't tell my family immediately because I knew they would be disappointed and they were. I'm 21 years old and I just sat my mom down and explained to her. She actually asked me to consider getting an abortion, but I told her I wouldn't and that I am adult enough to handle it. Now I'm 28 weeks pregnant and she's so excited. Everyone else will come around, but just let them know that a baby is a blessing and it's not like your 13 or anything. Once you start showing that responsibility they will began to understand. Good luck to you and God bless.

Answer 5

First of all I am SO glad to hear that you are not going to have an abortion. You can take a EPT test and it should show up now, if you missed your period. I counsel young women who are pregnant and your question is asked so many times - the best way is the direct way. It will be hard at first,but most of the time, they do come around and are very supportive. Email me if you want to talk more

Answer 6

Just tell your mom then. The rest of your family needs to get off their judgmental horses and stop trying to run your adult life. The thing is, if you're anything like I've been in my pregnancy, your patience will be really short...you may end up having to say to them something like "you know what, I'm really hormonal and moody right now, and I really don't want to say something I don't mean, so can we please change the subject."

Also, have you and your boyfriend ever talked about the possibility of marriage? If it turns out you really are going to be parents together, making that commitment to really be a family would be so great for the baby.

good luck!

Answer 7

This is a hard one. Do you live with your parents? If you do you might look into an apartment.

I was kicked out when I got pregnant at 19. I had a full-time job and kept that job even after I had the baby.

But I will tell you your family will come around. They love you and will forgive you and they will love the baby too.

When I was about seven months pregnant my parents asked me to come back and live with them so I wouldn't have it so ruff by myself. After the baby was born a couple months later I moved with the baby and we did fine. You take one day at a time and love the baby that is growing inside you.

Answer 8

i would tell them to get over it if your happy your happy that's all that matters all that could happen is that they won't talk to you for a few days its like my mother in law i found out i was pregnant 3 days ago i already have had two kids but only 1 with my husband all his mother could say was oh no and the next couple of days she keeped asking my husband if i was still pregnant so don't worry about it you are young and it won't stop you from going to university you can have your bub and do the rest at your own pace good luck.

Answer 9

You can only make yourself happy. Trying to make your whole family happy is not healthy. Their expectations for you are probably not what you want for yourself.
As hard as it will be for you..... just tell whomever you are closest to, like your mom and dad, etc. You don't need to tell your whole family that you may be pregnant. As long as you and your boyfriend are happy and excited to be parents, that is all that matters. If your extended family is disappointed, too bad! They are not paying your bills!!!!!!!! If they get bent out of shape, let them know that YOU are happy and satisfied! Ask them if your feelings matter to them. If they say your feelings do matter, then tell them if your feelings truly mattered then they would get off your back and understand that this is what you want out of life.
Good luck to you!!!

Answer 10

Your family doesnt have to live your life for you, so if you are, tell em or not tell em, it doesnt matter. They will find out eventually and to hell with their opinions girl! Oh and your period is probably just coming since you are irregular. Those are symptoms of PMS too soooo I wouldnt stress cause that could be causing a shift in your cycle too. Hope this helps