want one, I do sorta have one but it is 24 years old and needs work. My husband makes enough money for me to be able to have a decent vehicle (he drives a newer truck). The whole deal was I would stay home with our child (he wanted me to) and he would get me the car I wanted...that was 3 years ago.
About 3 months ago he had 16000 dollars cash to do whatever with, and when I said we should get me car he got very nasty with me and called me "selfsih *****" and a "mooch". He works out of town alot and Iam always stuck at home, I have no friends anymore cause he was insecure with that. I have also been home 3 straight weeks since no one is reliable enough to help me go grocery shopping, or its on their time.
When I mention I need a car to him on the phone he is like "why?" even after I tell him all the reasons.
I have stopped having sex with him because why should he get what he wants and wouldnt get me what I want when he could. He still calls me a *****...
2007-03-01 09:33:38 · 13 answers · asked by Bitsy B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and ask's "why shoudl I get you a car when you wont even have sex with me anymore???" HELLO????
He knew I wanted a car before he got that money and th eplan was to actually get me one, and we went looking, and then when it came down to it...nope.
He got all angry with me and said I was selfish? How am I selfish? I gave up a job to be home with my son (he wanted that) I do ALL housework, I dont cheat and I have no life outside the house...yet he drives a new truck, i am supportive of his ideas, have not stopped him from seeing his friends...so who is selfish?
I am not a dog, I'm 26 and he is 33.
2007-03-01 09:36:36 · update #1
He is controlling you, by not getting you a reliable car he knows where you are all the time. The same goes with your friends, he knows they are gone so he doesnt have to worry about them taking you anywhere. He is probably one of those jerks that thinks a womans place is in the home and that he should be treated like a king. You are much better off without him. Stop doing all the housework and everything for him. You have to be careful though, he sounds like the type that could get violent if he doesn't get his way. Good luck.
2007-03-01 09:51:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm.... I, too, am a stay-at-home-mom. We have only one car. We make do. If you need the car for the day offer to drive hubby to work. He might see this as you trying to compromise. You could also ask him if he'd like to accompany you to do groceries or on other errands on the days that he is off or is home. Maybe he is feeling a little out of the loop as well?
If this doesn't work, ask his thoughts about you wanting to pick up a few hours working to help pay for a car. Maybe this would smooth things over. Some men (and women) get quite resentful when they have the entire weight of providing for the family while the other "sits" at home. They don't get to deal with the cleaning and kids, appointments and bill paying. I know that being a mom is difficult because of all the responsibility and lack of down time. You never get a vacation and the pay stinks! He probably doesn't realize just how hard you work around the house.
Don't toss the towel in though. Check out this website ( http://www.marriage180.com/ ) and look around. It may help you rekindle the love and, in turn, help your situation. There is lots of good advice there!
Hang in there, hun!
2007-03-01 10:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Penny's from Heaven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to most of the people who answered above...you know the "don't fights" "make do" etc...did you even read what she wrote? she didn't want to stay home, he promised a car....now, if there was no money, then I could see the problem, but if you read correctly, there is...he broke his promise, and is insecure about friends..soooo, she has none...jeez, read people before answering will ya!?
Now, as for your problem honey....you have a few options...the money is yours too, GO BUY A CAR...yourself :), or, believe it or not....since he is not providing for your needs or his childs..(think people, if he won't let her have friends...do you really think he's going to allow her to drive him to work and keep the truck with her?) you can sue him...might cause some probs, hugh fights etc, tell him that you are going back to work, and the children? a nice daycare or in home care, he cannot stop you from doing that...you are giving him the ability and the power to do this, only you can change it...worse case....divorce, and then, you'll get everything....including his vehicle.
2007-03-01 10:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would discuss this issue with him from a practical standpoint - what are you supposed to do if something happens to you or your child and you need to get medical attention ASAP? I think you need a car for that reason alone. Tell him that you do not need a fancy car with all the bells and whistles, just some thing to go grocery shopping in, for emergencies, etc.
I think the bigger issue is that you and your husband need to consider marriage counseling. Not buying you a car and withholding sex are not healthy ways to deal with your problem.
2007-03-01 09:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like its just not the car you really want, but you want to have your friends and some connections outside of the four walls of the house like any normal human being, id tell him your feeling low because your stuck indoors all the time and cant take it any more, its not fair at all for someone to be isolated like that, it must be like serving a prison sentence in your own home. Being a mom doesnt stop you being a woman too. make contact with your friends again, tell them how you feel, if they are true friends they'll be there with support for you 100%. Go to the local park and meet up with other moms and talk. you need to stop being isolated. good luck
2007-03-01 09:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by fast eddie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are hard sometimes. I would do anything if I could stay home with my baby. And don't listen to people telling you to get a divorce ... babies need their daddy's. Working on a career is hard and it sounds like he just needs a break. Maybe plan a vacation together. Don't focus on what you don't have ... Focus on what you do have and how you can make this the best relationship ever! Bring him up ... don't tear him down.
To err is human ... to forgive divine!
2007-03-01 09:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Divorce him and take half of what he has. I don't know what else to tell you, I can't even imagine ANYONE telling me if I could or could not have a car. You are married to a controlling a**hole.
2007-03-01 10:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
start saving your money and buy you a car,he is just being controlling,you need to go to school too just in case things don't work out, good luck!
2007-03-01 09:40:12 · answer #8 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a real prick. It's not about a car, it's about control. I think you should start thinking about a job and some independence, or this hole oyu are in will swallow you up. Hang in there. darlin...
2007-03-01 09:40:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have a check book so go buy your self a car you need one what would happen if something happen to your son,and what kinda man wouldnt want to buy you one omg thats his son and like i said what if something happen to him ,how do you get around now? like take your son to doctor check ups and so on??
2007-03-01 09:50:54 · answer #10 · answered by chrissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋