ok, this girl i really like and care for seems alright but i had a feeling shes not. i konw its a terrible thing to do but i thought it was for own good so i got on her myspace and read all her messages. it turns out shes in a really depressesing and confused state, and has been making bad choices. i really want to help her though this and i told her i would be there for her after i told her i thought she was depressed. i havent got any response from her...is she just absorbing it? i cant really tell her everything unless i told her i read all her messages which would infuriate her. but i feel so obligated to tell her and sit her down and talk to her about it.
so is she absorbing this info?
or should i sit her down and have a serious talk
she is only 15 and had drank, smoked, been alone with guys, i really feel i need to get her life back on track, because i really love her even though she doesnt love me
2007-03-01 09:16:27 · 21 answers · asked by 281 Playa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would really like to talk to someone on this
aim = ttobxtxhc
email = tdcshrapnel@yahoo.com
2007-03-01 09:36:46 · update #1
i am 16, but i feel maturer than her
2007-03-01 09:45:26 · update #2
she will only seek help when she is ready, but first she has to realize within herself that she has a problem, then she can begin to make some changes, but only when she feels it is time to do so, you probably made her feel bad after saying you thought she was depressed and she most likely doesn't feel like talking to you since you made an assessment on her character....
2007-03-03 11:51:21 · answer #1 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, getting on her myspace account was a bad idea. If you have any credibility with her, this will probably hit it like a mini-nuke.
Secondly, and I know this from experience, getting someone 'back on track' is not within your power. You can be a good friend and be there for her, but the moment you start trying to help her live a better life (according to you) she will likely rail against you and you will lose her in all respects as a person you like, a friend, or even someone that will return your phone calls occasionally.
Best advice to you here is, and you won't vote this 'best answer', is to be there for her, let her talk about what she wants to reveal to you (little curious questions might open her up), and try to do more listening than talking.
If she's done these things in the past, she will likely do them again. You can't stop that. But you can be a bit of a bright spot in her life if you don't freak out about it. Keep in mind it's her life, not her in your life, if that makes sense.
Bright spots can be powerful if they stay steady.
Good luck with it.
2007-03-01 18:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by Whiskeybone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but unless you are her parent, you are not in a position to be deciding what's best for her.
Even though My Space has a public and private setting, it's not exactly an open invitation to *everyone* you know to read your personal private thoughts. Of course they should know that when they post, but many people in general just don't really consider that.
You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped and who does not desire your help in particular. It's great that you are trying to be supportive, however, since she hasn't taken you up on the offer you have to come to terms with something. No response *is* a response.
You say she is depressed and confused, hardly the time to be approaching someone for a healthy romantic relationship. I think you need to leave her alone and let her choose who she wants to confide in and when and how she wishes to get help.
2007-03-01 17:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way myspace works, is that anyone can read it. She knows that and should expect that since you care so much for her that you would read it eventually. The best thing to do is to be completely honest with her and tell her how you feel. It will be hard, especially if you're a tough guy who has a hard time with that sort of stuff. Anything you discuss with her should be done when you two are truly alone with no one to interrupt and when there is virtually no time limit.
2007-03-01 18:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by cutiedudie2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not okay to read some one elses private messages. But, if you care about this person, you should let her know you are worried about her. She may not care or she might get mad at you, but later on down the road, she will know that she has a true friend who really cares once all the bad people in her life burn her. Just make sure that you aren't doing all this for your own motives- to try to get her to like you.
2007-03-01 17:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have told her you thought she was depressed. If she thought she needed help she'd ask for it.
Just be her friend right now. Hang out with her as much as possible. Loneliness feeds depression so if you can take that out or her life maybe she can get through this hard time.
Also, doing the things she's doing can perpetuate the depression. If you can keep her away from that scene without her knowing, then maybe she will start healing.
Hope that helps.
2007-03-01 17:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by ChemGuy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should sit her down and tell her everything...about how you feel, how worried you are and what you think needs to be done in order for her to get her life back on track. And then she needs to decide that she WANTS to make these changes...remember you can't help the unwilling...so put everything down in front of her, show her that you care and that you're there to help her and handle this with maturity...don't try to force her into doing anything...let her make her own decisions...and let her take some time in making them...meanwhile be a good friend...thats what she really needs =]
2007-03-01 17:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by May 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mabye she's a bit offended and violated by that. She's probably wondering how you know about that and has gotten a clue. Or she just doesn't want your help and want to deal with it on her own. I think its great that you want to help her and i think you should help her. Dont get in her business but let her know that your worried about her and that your there for her. When she's ready to talk she'll know that there's someone out there that cares for her and wont judge her for what she's done. She'll come around.
2007-03-01 17:27:18 · answer #8 · answered by Alli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I really feel I need to get her life back on track"...Sounds like you want to make her your project. I doubt if she will appreciate it or respond in any way other than telling you to jump off a cliff. Your heart may be in the right place, but it's not your responsibility to "get her life back on track". That's HER choice. Respect it, love her from a distance, give her space.
2007-03-01 17:22:31 · answer #9 · answered by blondee 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Omg you see like such a sweet guy.
But if she's depressed she might be kind of stand offish and thats normal. i know cause I've went through depression, except I didn't have anyone as sweet as you to be there for me. Just keep on trying to help her, but don't tell her you want to help her just show it through your actions. Remember the cliche Actions speak louder then words. That is always the way to get to a girls heart.
You get a star for being so cute and sweet....GOOD LUCK with the girl.
2007-03-01 17:24:05 · answer #10 · answered by ..... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋