I am married to a nice man who works hard and I can say with certainty that he would never cheat on me or hurt me physicaly. However I am in love with an old "friend" from way back. The friend feels the same way but we are afraid too much time has passed. I still feel it's unfair of me to stay married when I have such strong feelings for someone else.PLEASE HELP!!!
2007-03-01 09:16:26 · 31 answers · asked by starrynight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most definitely. If you love someone else, then you are not giving as much to your husband as the word HUSBAND deserves. If you're going to be married and be truly happy it means that you are going to give all of yourself to your significant other.
You're not doing that if your spending your time thinking of someone else. Break it off and chase your dreams. Let your hubby have a chance at finding his true love since you, honey, are obviously not it.
2007-03-01 09:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
A good man is hard to find. Really!
Yes, I kinda think its not fair, but you are looking to do something it seems.
I think people can choose how they feel and how not to feel. So I think you could turn these feelings off towards this other person and put your heart back into your man you are married to.
Do you have kids? If you do, they should be considered a lot before you change their lives so much if you end up changing yours.
But no matter what anyone has to say here and whether or not its good advice or not doesn't matter much because you most like already know with in yourself which direction you are going to go with this.
So either way good luck in what ever choice you make.
2007-03-01 09:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a school girl that just see's something she likes better than last weeks deal & she's off....you're a married woman....married as you say to a guy that would never cheat on you or hurt you in any way....why the hell are you bothering to even look somewhere else & somewhere that isn't even a dead cert.
Stop playing silly games & work on the relationship you already have rather than trying to start another that is only doomed to fail....it's doomed to fail because you're already showing that you haven't grown enough as a person to appreciate what you've got with your husband, if you can't work on a relationship with the guy that's already proving to you to be the best guy in your world...how do you think you'll be able to keep another relationship going....every time something else comes along that looks better, you'll be off....not a very good track record really is it Babe?
2007-03-01 09:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHEW!! It's hard to determine who we love. But marriage is a very serious thing and not meant to be taken lightly. Your have a good man who adores you. It would probably be best if you sever ALL communication between you and the old friend. Being in contact with him only makes things harder and more confusing. None of the three of you deserve that. Remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the street. You may be looking at astroturf. If things don't get better you may want to try to concentrate totally on your husband, fall in love with him all over again.
2007-03-01 09:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by Duchess20 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry your husband in the first place? Didn't you love him then? You made a promise too him, and staying married to him is what you should do. Forget that old friend, and focus on your husband. Do nice things for him, and try to get closer to him. Put all of the effort you spend thinking about that old friend onto your husband. It would be unfair to your husband if you divorce him. Love is not as much a feeling as it is a choice. You can choose to love your husband or not. I would stay stick with him.
2007-03-01 09:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by rockran 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well if you have kids I'd say you are being selfish, maybe you got married to young but thats no excuse. If you are going to do anything with that old friend I would definitely tell your husband first. Either way somebody's going to get hurt; have some respect for the both of you and tell him.
2007-03-01 09:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by The Captain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not only unfair to him but neither to you. Now, if you have kids together I would reconsider leaving him. Ask yourself, what does this old "friend" have to offer me? Will he be worth giving up what I have now? Don't let "a thing of the past, or THE MOMENT( I should say) ruin your life by making a decision you'll regret later. Just be honest to yourself when answering.
2007-03-01 09:30:32 · answer #7 · answered by DminiknBonita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's unfair that you married your husband in the first place. I notice you do not claim to love him.
If you are recently married and have no kids, I say you take your lumps and apologize for ruining his life, and let him go find a wife who will love him like he deserves.
If you have kids, you learn to love him. I don't care how hard it is. It is completely unfair of you to screw with people's lives like this.
2007-03-01 09:24:38 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it fairly is a call superb left for the husband and spouse to choose, because it relies upon on a kin's circumstances and values. relies upon what proportion toddlers they have, how lots money the spouse could earn and what the youngster care expenditures may well be if the girl went to artwork additionally. i became a stay-at-abode mum until my toddlers have been the two the right age to be in college finished time, and then i became self employed so i could be versatile and convey jointly them from college and be with them over the college trip journeys etc. Please dont disrespect stay-at-abode mothers by potential of assuming that they take a seat around on their fat butt all day doing not something. it fairly is extremely very unfaithful. Being a stay at abode mum is a 24/7JOB! i became fairly busy cleansing, procuring, cooking, gardening, looking after my toddlers, working them around to kindergarten, playgroup and activities. i became oftentimes extra exhausted on the tip of the day than my husband, and he might come abode to a sparkling abode, dinner on the table, sparkling bathed chuffed toddlers. So, in my opinion, sure, that's extra desirable than honest for a guy to help his spouse and babies whilst mandatory, and the peace and uncomplicated way of existence he enjoys as a effect may well be well worth extra to him than the few extra money left from his spouse's wages after baby care expenditures have been paid, if she were working additionally.
2016-10-17 01:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i made that decision in my past leaving my beautiful wife a very nice and loving wife to a woman that i fall in during one of my seminar i attended to first year i feel very contended and very happy with my new woman and i thought the world is on my hand but when the passion dies i just ask my self where are you going now and shes back to her friends who partying a lot
i meet my ex wife during our family reunion which shes always
a part of it and shes with a new engaged boyfriend and we have a good talk as a friend and after that meeting something keeps nagging on my mind and all those good memories keep flashing on my mind and funny thing is there is not a sexual memories
but her goodness to me the only goodness that i have done is that i leave all i have to her the house the car every things that i posses even our jjoint account she cried on our last meeting she cried very hard????
where i am now??? i just changing relationship as if im changing sock i lost that direction and goes very cheap on my self
maybe the guilt is hounding me maybe im paying for the price for being so stupid maybe,,,,,
if i can put back the time i wished im still on my ex wife and living life to the full
goodluck!!!!
2007-03-01 09:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's only unfair to stay with your husband, if you have acted on your feelings. You aren't the only one in a marriage who has feelings for someone else. Are you really willing to give up a man that you know you have a good life with for someone who you knew back when?
2007-03-01 09:21:44 · answer #11 · answered by wanted12be@verizon.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋