Just got married....but now getting really rude comments, please help?

Question

ok, im 18 and i just got married, well while out with my husband, this man said that he is 54 and has never been married and very happy, and he thinks its so ridiculous that there are all of these tennie boppers getting married, then he looked at me and asked how old i was then asked my husband who responed with 23 since thats how old he is, the guy then said "its not fair, youve had time to date, this youngin will cheat on you" i was so offended i started crying, but ive also got 38 weeks of pregnant hormone in me, to which the guy replied "you married just becuase of the baby, stupid" i couldnt believe this guy, it seems like everyone thinks the same thing, i didnt marry jsut becuase im pregnant, i dont believe in divorse unless there is fidelity. i dont plan on cheating, so why would somebody say such thingS??? this is ridiculous, any advice on what to say next time?

Answer 1

It is a classic case of 'sour grapes'. I am shocked your husband did not have the balls of steel to defend you right away! Good luck with the baby :) Try to be positive and keep the company of people with a positive attitude.

Answer 2

You have to make better choices about people you hang out with. I was married at 18, then at 23, and now at 32, and I've never heard any rude comments. (What people might have said behind my back is a different question, but at least they never seemed to say it to my face.)

I don't believe that a random person will come up to you on the street and start insulting you. You *choose* people you talk to. No need to take it personally or get offended - just keep doing what you're doing, and tell everyone else to bug off. Being able to stand up for yourself and tell someone to get lost is a part of growing up.

You can't help that people will forever think that you got married "just because" you're pregnant. You just have to get over what everyone else thinks. Perhaps there WERE good reasons besides pregnancy for you to get married - but I'm guessing pregnancy DID play at least some part in the decision. So? Why get defensive about it? If you act confident in your decision, others will pick up on it; if you act insecure and defensive, you might attract more unwelcome comments. Don't try to prove anything to anyone - if you feel it's a good decision, this is ALL that counts. Good luck.

Answer 3

People will think and may even say what they think, but you know the truth. These days people automatically assume that if you marry young, and you are pregnant or get pregnant shortly after marrying, that you only got married due to the baby. Well, don't worry about those losers. Like I said, YOU know the truth and I'm sure that some stupid losers remark didn't suddenly make you or your husband change your minds. It didn't make you suddenly go "Wait, DID we marry only cause I'm pregnant?" right? So don't even worry about it. Or else you could always fib (if it is one) and say, Well we got married before I got pregnant, so that wasn't the reason. Or you could use pregnancy hormones as an excuse to tell losers like this off, tell them to mind their own business, and you are not a teeny bopper, you are going to be a mother soon, and have already grown up enough to handle it.

Answer 4

That is awful! Try to ignore him honey. Some people have no manners about them at all and this man definitely did not. I married when I was 18 and my husband was 21. We do not have any children yet, but we are in love and have always been. Congrats on your baby!

Answer 5

Tell the 54 yr olds to get a sex change. He's not going to get married so he's not needing the parts anyway. And you don't get married cause your pregnant, you get married for the insurance. and it's IN fidelity.

Answer 6

There is a good tape by Richard Dyer on this. Basically its about dealing with people who are always negative and judgemental. The reason they are like this is that they are not happy with their own lives. Since they do not know you it is no reflection on your life whatsoever. I think the tape is called "Transitions" and it opens your mind to a whole new openness and a whole new outlook. Available on CD.

Answer 7

well you said yourself you have 38 weeks of hormones in you so you can definitely take things to heart. I wouldn't worry soo much on what strangers think and/or say to you or about you.

You are only 18 years old and when you get older you will learn that what others say really don't mean one bit of anything to you, your life and the way others like your hubby will perceive. I wouldn't worry to much about that jerk and what he said.
and btw...good luck on your pregnancy

Answer 8

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, the important thing is not to let it bother you. My husband is thirteen years older than I am and when we were dating one of his friends was very rude about our age difference. At first we let it go, but his remarks were getting worse each day. One day my husband just looked at him and said "Your just jealous that younger women don't find you attractive. Obviously, I've got something you don't." It slowed him down, but he continued to be rude so we just stopped spending time with him. If it is a stranger, just ignore them, they don't know you. If it is someone you know and they just won't stop, avoid them. Your life is none of their business. Congratulations on your marriage and baby.

Answer 9

While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, what I would have said in response, I can't print it here. I'd get reported and rightfully so. My advice is simple, but sometimes hard to do. Just ignore idiots like that.

Answer 10

part of it could be hormones, most of it was the 54 year old, the way I see it is that good fer nothing's jealous that he couldn't find himself a wife of anykind where your husband got a real sweet person like you!! as far as what to say tell'm your relationship's not their business..