All you smart english people, may you please read this?

Question

Hi, I'm doing an application form and I'm hoping if someone may please proof read it. This is one of my paragrpahs that just seems for choopy and bad. So, please help me and Thank You very Much :)

Furthermore, I’ve been taught to accept which ever role assigned when I’m given a certain task. I know how to act at given moments. If I’ve been given a certain project with other members, I take the role of a leader unless some other member feels they should be the leader. I’ve always acted as a team player and never look for conflict because that’s not my job. My job is to prevent conflict because that’s what I was taught when I took the Peer Mediation course. I learned and developed the skills of a leader and learned how to prevent conflicts and also come up with one solution that everyone can agree on. I know I have what it takes to be an engineer because I’m prepared.

Answer 1

Try this...and for the future, avoid using contractions in formal writing

Furthermore, I adapt very easily to different tasks and respond well to decisions and pressure. My leadership skills are quite adept, and I am able to work well with, and manage, others, due to a Peer Mediation course in which I have partaken. The ability to create compromises furthers me abilities as a worker, mediator, and leader. In fact, I am certain that my existing qualities and tenacious preparation will make me perfect for joining the [insert company or business name here] team.

Answer 2

this is what i came up with

Furthermore, when given a task I am able to accept any role assigned. I have obtained the skills to work under this situation and how to act under any other given condition. If I have been assigned a project with a disoriented group I will take the responsibility to become the leader, but only in a manner where the other members with appreciate and accept me doing it. If the situation involves me letting someone else taking the role as a leader I am able to follow through will instructions and orders. After taking a Peer Mediation coarse I believe conflict is very unnecessary in the work environment and I avoid it all together. I understand how to prevent arguments and develop a solution that will agree with everyone. Having the ability to problem solve and take leadership are important qualities to have in engineering. This is why I know I have the makings and integrity to pursue a carrer as an engineer.

Answer 3

It sounded pretty good to me as an answer on an application. You might try to reword the sentences to say these things more eloquently. Something like, I've been taught to work through each task I am given. That's just one sentence I remember. When I clicked over to answer your question, that whole paragraph was not with the rest. Try reading what you write out loud and anything that doesn't read through smoothly, rework that sentence. You have some good information in there, just smooth it out by saying the same things with different words. Hope that helps!

Answer 4

I think its good but needs to flow more instead of starting every line with `i think` you have to use something else coz the reader will get bored, what about furthermore and also simple things like that will make it flow better and be easier to read, you need to explain why you think you can do it aswell (unless you have this in a diff paragraph) hope i have helped gud look with writing the rest of it

Answer 5

i trust that maximum of your unique writing is advantageous. in the approach extreme college I volunteered for most charitable motives. for the duration of those thoughts i chanced on that humanitarian facilities were the more suitable and important, highly those offered by the Islamic Circle of North u . s .. in the course of the former few summers I assisted the corporation with many of their nutrition and garments drives and different humanitarian facilities. each of the proceeds that we received from our nutrition drives were forwarded to the daily Bread nutrition economic corporation. The nutrition economic corporation complimented us and advised us that our community had donated extra nutrition than the different community in Toronto. to boot we prepared an experience accepted because the Tsunami alleviation in which we accumulated over $2 hundred for the victims of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. Of each of the justifications for which I volunteered, i chanced on that my thoughts in humanitarian facilities are useful.

Answer 6

Nah... I don't think it's choopy.