I waited until my daughter was 16 and it was a mistake, I think it would have went better if I had done it when she was 2, until of staying for the sake of the child.
2007-03-01 09:02:42 · 14 answers · asked by Lynne 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Me too. I waited 10 cold and lonely years longer than I should have.
2007-03-01 09:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is really a personal decision that only that individual can decide. In one marriage I divorced when the child was young -- age 2, due to the fact that the husband had sex with another and I walked in on it.....this was more than I could bear....
In a 2nd marriage..the children were older age 11 and 13....children adapt quite well...as long as u can still financially support your children--then I see no reason not to get divorced. Remember some situations are worse for the children if u remain there,,,ex: abusive relationships, etc.
2007-03-01 17:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother left our father when I was 2 and my brother was 5. I am SO happy she did because she found a new man and he has been great to us since we were very little. My mom and step-dad have had a very happy marriage and I am glad I was raised in a happy home.
My husband's parents waited until he was 11 and he doesn't have a happy memories of his family when he was a kid. He just remembers his parents being really cold to each other and never doing things as a family. He was very jealous of kids who had happy home lives. He wishes they would have separated sooner because after the divorce they were so much happier.
It's best to get out of the marriage when the children are young!
2007-03-01 17:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The problem with staying in a marriage because of the kids is that the kids can sense and see the problems. You do more psychological damage staying together then you do getting the divorce. At lease when you divorce the kids still get to see both of you and usually they see both of you happy. When you stay together the kids have to hear the fighting and feel the tension in the air.
2007-03-01 17:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im in a situation where my kids are 5 and twins of 3....and i am batteling with the same issue. Me and my wife are just not suited for one another. Im a very soft spoken, easy goin texan who just likes to live life. She is a very outspoken, anal retentive woman who has to be heard, has to have her way or all hell breaks loose. I know if i didnt have my kids we would have ended this a long time ago...and id leave her right now. BUT, the idea that she will start yelling at them instead of me...kills me. The idea that i wont get to pick her up from school, see them every day. Kills me. The very thought of another man being called...daddy by my sons. KILLS ME. But you know what kills me even more.
Waking up one day when im 55...looking in the mirror, the kids have gone away to college...and my life has passed me by.
The thing is...i KNOW my kids know the score. They are far from stupid. Especialy my daughter. I know i cant be the father to them i want to be because im being conditioned by my wife to cower under her rule in this house i paid for.
I am still undedcided...but, i dont think i can wait till my daughter is 16. I dont think i can last that long
2007-03-01 17:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Lucky7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who stay together "for the sake of the children" are delusional. Children can tell that their parents don't love each other. You should give yourself and your husband a chance to have a happy home life in another marriage if you are unable to get your **** together with your present marriage.
2007-03-01 17:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No time is better than the next, but if the reasons are there (other than another person) the sooner is the easiest. I am a teacher working with pre. & kndg. kids sadly most divorced and I see far less issues than those who's parents divorce later in life. Most are unaffected, as long as the divorce is not caused by someone else coming into the picture.
2007-03-01 17:09:11 · answer #7 · answered by ProudArmyWife2005 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think is actually harder when they are older, by then they are used to seeing both parents together.
Sometimes I think that if my husband and I can work out our issues I won't stay with him just for the sake of the baby.
I want my baby to grow up in a healthy loving environment even if it means just seeing his/her dad on the occasional weekend. Then exposing them to all the fighting and hostility that goes on with an unhappy marriage.
That is just my point of view, I'm sure they must be plenty of people outhere that won't agree with me.
2007-03-01 17:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by hayde_kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't stay together simply for the children. If you're not happy, then there's no way that you kids can be happy. Even if you don't fight in front of them, they will know something is wrong. They notice a lot more then people think they do.
2007-03-01 17:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally my opinion is if you stay in an unhappy marriage your children will know ,people do not give children enough credit they know more than they tell and they can tell if your not happy,if your not happy,there not happy by the time they are in their teens it has already been branded in their mind its awful for them if people wouldnt carry on so much like that children would deal with it with very little problem
2007-03-01 17:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i divorced my 1st husband my girls were 7-8 in 1981 i raised them by my self i tryed to wait till they were grown but i was unhappy so i stayed 10 year's and divorced it probally would turned better for you if you had left when your kid's was around the age's mine were we agreeded on the divorce we just fussed all the time
2007-03-01 17:19:01 · answer #11 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋