I am a alcoholic and my husband of 10 yrs left me and took our child because of the bad choices i made..I have been sober for 9 months and i am starting to get my life back together. I am a better person today then i ever have (even before i started drinking)
I feel great about myself...i want my family back..He lets me pick up our daughter anytime i want and even lets me stay the night..(we have sex) but he has not gave me any clues that he wants me back..When i try and talk about it with him he changes the subject..never any straight answers..What should i do?? Do you think it is too soon? Should i just move on and let him move on with his life?
2007-03-01 08:41:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am also addicted to meth..and yes..he was the victim of my forgery charges..I never cheated on him..but i found out that he cheated on me when i got so far into my drinking and druging...We were happy at one time..I just want some honest advice..should i just let him go?
2007-03-01 08:57:28 · update #1
Wow! That's awesome for you. Congrats on your new life.
After ten years, he probably needs a little bit more time to see that the changes you've made are sincere and that they will stick. If you keep trying, there's a chance he'll take you back--a bigger chance than if you quit trying and just let him go!
I think it's best for your child that you stick together, so I definitely wouldn't give up yet. Just keep trying, and in time things will work out (cliche but true). He loved you once--if you're even better now, he can't help but love you again! Hopefully you didn't hurt him too bad? (Obviously, you couldn't've, if he's letting you spend the night and all)
Good luck. I wish you the best! And, again, congrats on your awesome recovery.
2007-03-01 08:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congrats are in order! Good for you, I hope you keep your priorities in order. At this time I would worry more about yourself, and maybe re-gaining custody of your child back. Which I feel with help, you can do. From what I have read here, it sounds like you have done some pretty serious things. But they are in the past, and you need to keep them there. Working on strengthening your self confidence and self-esteem is most important right now. Keep up your daily truth's, and spend time with your child. As for bedding down with your husband, that might be a fast way to shoot down your self esteem right now. Take one step at a time. Hopefully something that will benefit you in the long run!!
2007-03-01 17:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think you two should attend counsoling together and work through this. You're making an honest effort to change, but he's still unwilling to talk it? He may still be worried that you'll fall off the wagon, or there's something more. Either way, this need to be resolved for the sake of closure and the sake of the children involved.
Congratualtions on the 9 months, by the way! Keep up the good (and very brave) fight.
2007-03-01 16:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by serena_dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on being clean and sober for nine months. That is quite an accomplishment. Your husband is probably afraid to trust you just yet. He changes the subject because he doesn't want to give you false hope or push you away. This way he stays neutral until you have a little more time being sober and continuing your journey to wellness. Give it and him some more time sweetie. Good luck and congratulations again.
2007-03-01 16:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by mjm52 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well right now he has a decent deal going on. He is free of commitment to do but still getting sex.
Don't do that anymore unless he plans to resume your relationship.
I think you understand why he left. I don't know if "the choices you made" include anything like having an affair, but if they did, this is going to make it even harder for him to trust you anymore.
From your past questions, you also had a meth addiction. And you were convicted of check fraud, TWICE. You refer to your husband as your ex-boyfriend? (are these the same man?) and he is the victim of your check frauds???
I applaud your efforts. Understand you are asking a LOT for your husband (?) to take you back. I don't know if I could. I wish you luck, but please understand some wrongs cannot be righted.
2007-03-01 16:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all,Congratulations on getting your alcohol problem taken care of..Maybe he just needs more time to see if you will stay sober.I sure hope so,for you sound like you are trying to get your family back.Everyone needs a second chance.If he isn't talking to you about getting back, ask him to be up front and honest about his feelings.You need to know if there is a chance to regain what you lost..Marriage has it's ups and downs,and you have made an effort to change.Hope he can see this and give your marriage another try.Good luck and again congratulations..
2007-03-01 16:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by ladybug 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want you back, he just wants to have sex with you. For the sake of your own recovery and the best interest of your child, quit playing house and move on with your life. It's great that you all get along, but the sex is only going to complicate things. I understand you want your family back, but that may not be possible. And your husband has no incentive to try to get you back so long as you keep warming his bed without any conditions.
I can't imagine how confusing this must be for your child!
2007-03-01 16:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all stop having sex with him. IF you are "better" than you were then you should not allow yourself to be used. Obviously he doesn't want you back or he would at least talk to you about it, rather than changing the subject. I think you should just move on and keep getting your life in order, of course still visit with your daughter but your relationship with him appears to be over other than you allowing yourself to be used.
2007-03-01 17:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. It sounds like he is still vulnerable (sex) when it comes to you as he is probably remembering the good times as well. Nine months seems like a long time when you are fighting to stay sober, but it probably isn't enough time for either of you to heal properly. Just concentrate on your recovery and your time with your daughter for the time being.
2007-03-01 17:23:29 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on the 9 months!!!!!!
You should be proud of yourself. When it comes to him though I would take it slow.
2007-03-01 16:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by texas tornado 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋