I have been married 25+ years to the same man, and I left 6 months ago because he was being verbally abusive and he didn't use to be this way, but I still miss him and don't know how to talk to him to make it work. We used to get along so great, you've heard the expression "like a hand in a glove", thats how we were. We had our favorite Restaraunts, "Our Booth" in those restaraunts, we done everything together,told each other "I Love You" everday .I don't know how things got so crazy.I've been listening to that Gretchen Wilson song alot lately " Come To Bed" and if you listen to it, it describes exactly how I feel but I don't know how to get that message to him,only if things could be that simple, and is this just a quick fix, and could it really work? The song is at AOL music should you care to listen to it.I could really use some advice, Our Anniversary is coming up in about a month and I really need some good advice.
2007-03-01 08:40:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him out on a date. Rekindle your relationship without the burden of living together. Go home after the date.
Go out on another date.
Keep visiting the man you love without the burden of your marital baggage. In time you will either lay some groundwork for rebuilding your marriage, or you will get tired of dating him.
Good luck.
2007-03-01 08:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am at 6 months post break up after 10 years and just filed for divorce based on mental & physical cruelty.
Friends and family are good support but sometimes they dont understand or dont want to.
I found a really great book- Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends by Dr Bruce Fisher & Dr Robert Alberti.
This book walks you through every feeling you have (and feeling lonely, hurt, denial, etc are all normal) and helps you work through them.
Let yourself grieve but also take small steps and do things for yourself. Go volunteer or join a group, plan a garden or take a new hobby or get back to one you neglected, get out and meet new people and build friendships, restore your soul...
Turn yourself into a strong and vibrant woman. He may realize then what he has lost and may change his ways. If you are needy (I know 25 years is a long time) and come across that way to him, he will just continue to walk all over you. Make changes for you. Life is short so enjoy it. Smile, laugh, cry, eat ice cream, go for a walk, call a friend. Its not easy but you will get through it. Hugs to you.
Paradox
2007-03-01 08:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by Paradox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes bad/old habits don't die; because he got verbally abusive before doesn't mean he won't now.
Do you know of the reason why he got abusive? There's a chance that he got bored with the relationship or something to make him that way...kind of sabotaging the relationship through verbal abuse. If that is the case, I would be wary about going back to him.
2007-03-01 08:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If YOU want to stay with a verbally abusive partner that is up to you. If it were me though I'd have more self respect. Because verbally abusive men quite often become physically abusive as well. (I left a verbally abusive husband who was becoming physically abusive we were married 20 years and he didn't start out as being verbally abusive either...)
2007-03-01 09:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try reading this site See that your far from alone.For what ever reason your parting there were great times.& times that you want 2 forgrt.You know what you like ,dislike .That give you an idea what 2 look for. Move on keep smiling .It can only get better.Just my thought.
Being single is peaceful, less drama I know.
2007-03-01 08:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally you may date whilst legally separated (no longer all States have any such ingredient). individually i've got self assurance you're nevertheless married and should no longer. yet it extremely is in basic terms me. what's the push? i think of it in basic terms makes you look undesirable.
2016-11-26 22:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i left my husband year ago for physcal abuse he spent some time in jail he got mad and i heard he's living with some women i love him but he don't me or he wouldn't be with some one esle so i don't know what to tell you except leave it in god's hand's that's what i have to do
2007-03-01 08:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sense in staying somewhere that you are not happy, you just miss things with him because it was habit for you
2007-03-01 08:44:23 · answer #8 · answered by sonya h 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋