I hate feeling guilty, but it seems like now that's all I do during situations. I'm naturally a worrier, if something that seems to be bad (whether it actually is or not) happens, it hangs over my head all day. Whenever someone asks me to hang out with them and my parents say no and I have to go back and report the news, I always feel incredibly guilty for saying, "No, sorry, I can't hang out." Whenever my parents say no to stuff like this, I ALWAYS ALWAYS feel incredibly guilty for having to tell the person no. When guys ask me to hang out with them and I say, "My parents won't let me," or when girls ask me to hang out and I say, "I can't, my parents won't let me," I always feel sorry and sad, frustrated, and guilty as if it's my fault for having parents like this. I always feel like I have to apologize for having parents like that and I don't want people to say, "Oh let's invite her but wait...let's not because she can't go." Why do constantly feel guilty?? How can I stop?
2007-03-01 08:28:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
everyone goes through the stage of being embarassed by their parents.
I fel the same guilt, even when it is not my fault, it is a form of OCD, and you have to learn to either live with it or try to shrug it off. you know its not rational, so you are 90% of the way there.
their controlling nature comes from a desire to protect you, look upon it as a good thing, as once you are in the outside world, you will miss it.
talk to your parents, tell them not to be scared that you are growing up, but expain that they have raised you well and instilled a sense of responsibility in you and that ou are a good kid, and they have to trust you.
your friends dont resent you, they just miss you, they probably arent having that much of a great time, you probably arent missing anything. i remember my mates going out, i thought they were having a great time drinking and going wild and kissing boys, but i was in the mall (with my mum), and they were hanging out there, doing NOTHING!
2007-03-01 08:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you! But thanks for giving me a possible insight into how MY kid feels when he's told he can't have someone over, etc. Sometimes it's because he hasn't done his homework, or we have to go someplace; there are lots of reasons.
I can't identify, but I remember at your age, blaming almost everything on my parents or the school! lol Actually, my dad was TOTALLY overprotective, so yes, a lot of it WAS his fault! Try putting some of the "fault" on your parents, when you have to say no to your friends; "Sorry, but once again, my parents won't let me" do...whatever it is.
Still, I think you should try talking w/your parents, respectfully but in a sincere way, about them easing up on all these restrictions. Tell them how you feel and that you think you'll lose friends, and that you're often lonely. Maybe if they met some of your friends, or talked to the friends' parents about what's involved in "hanging out", they'd lighten up.
In any case, you'll be old enough eventually, to do whatever you want. You sound very responsible, so I don't think your folks should worry so much, but maybe they're just afraid, with all the violence in the world. It's not your fault, so try not to feel guilty! You could ALSO point out that, if they never trust you, you won't learn how to take care of yourself in the world when you ARE allowed to go out! That was my son's argument and it really made a difference.
Good luck!
2007-03-01 08:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by SieglindeDieNibelunge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, what you're feeling is very normal, especially in your situation. Do try and relax a bit more, and don't be so hard on yourself, or your parents. I think you know down deep that they are doing these things because they love you and probably see part of their job as keeping you safe.
You say always, but I'm sure the friends that your parents really have gotten to know get your company anytime they want. If you not, make sure you bring'em around so your parents can get to know them, OR make your house the hang out (but don't overwhelm your parents. You want this to go well, so it can happen a lot). It's probably not that your parents don't want you to have fun, it's just they want you to be safe. If the fun happens in your home, and they can check in ever so often, then I think you'll be able to do more. Ask them (your parents), I bet they'll be open to that idea.
2007-03-01 08:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you probably don't see it now but your parents love you and are just looking out for your best interest. Someday you'll understand why they're doing all this but until then just follow their lead. They've been around al lot longer and been thru a LOT more than you have so they can see things and know things that you don't. They're your parents and it sounds like they're doing a great job. It's not that they want to keep you from having fun ... they want to keep you safe.
You shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to go somewhere. Your friends understand ... they have parents too. All our parents did stuff like this and you'll get thru it just like we all did. It's part of growing up. Just hang in there. You'll be fine. :)
2007-03-01 08:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by singlebravesfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww dont feel guilty! ways you could stop feeling guilty are to think different about situations.........or to actually apologise to the person for what youve done and tell them that you feel guilty blahdy blah......but in your case as you are nice....you just need to think differently to why you are saying no.....its kinda simple really....
also if you are over 16 then take more responsibility for your life and dont just let your parents run it for you....
good luck
2007-03-01 08:37:22 · answer #5 · answered by Joanna - Harry Potter Fan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no longer approximately that style of race. My goodness, you're so clever. i'm valuable i've got not seen this 1000 time for the reason that 2011. Your mum and dad could desire to be so pleased with your originality. i'm awed on your information superhighway presence.
2016-09-30 01:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents love you honey. That is never a reason to feel guilty.
2007-03-01 08:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by jaypea40 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to disobey your parents and do what makes you happy. Im not saying all the time, or even most of the time, but if there is a party you really want to go to, just go, sneak out. It is part of growing up. I know that me and my parents had a great relationship, but I still did PLENTY they didn't know about, or found out about eventually but so what. I still got to do it.
Follow your heart, if obeying your parents is what you really want, then do it. But if you are conflicted, do what makes YOU happy, because it is your life, not your parents.
2007-03-01 08:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
The devil shall constantly attack always follow your parents direction and God shall bless your life
2007-03-01 08:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by REESE H 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋