a new serum eradicate the illness
an old man rises from his wheelchair
when suffering unknown attacks the painless
and common animals are becoming rare
if the earth is dying of a growing thirst
rain shall fall on dried out soil
and every kind of bud shall burst
a sough of relief to insects-turmoil
as water spins in circle twice
spiders,snakes and little mice
get twisted around and tumble down
when nature calls we all shall drown
2007-03-01 08:24:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
that is the BEST poem i ever read. i loved it
2007-03-01 08:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by erikka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sough - should this be sigh?
You aren't using punctuation, so you may want to consider, in the stanza that begins spiders, something like
spiders
snakes
little mice
get twisted around...
That way you maintain the end of stanza as the breath - or pause.
FREAKING A that was a good poem. Perhaps you want to massage it a tiny bit to make it even more tightly wound.
FP
2007-03-01 16:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually like this a lot. Nice work, good imagery, and a cool rhyme scheme.
2007-03-01 16:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by Year of the Monkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes as much sense as taking a shower with your shoes on.
2007-03-01 16:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by guicho79 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's pretty good. 5/5
2007-03-01 16:28:22 · answer #5 · answered by JAnimaniac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an illusion of suffering poem?
2007-03-01 16:27:44 · answer #6 · answered by STORMY K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU JUST WASTED MY TIME!! NOTHING IN THAT POEM MAKES ANY FREAKIN SENSE AND TRY TO RYHME SOME OF THE WORDS!!
2007-03-01 16:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lovely
2007-03-01 16:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NICE!!!
WHATS the title.. EFFECTS OF GLOBAL WARMING
2007-03-01 16:27:26 · answer #9 · answered by rocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no...grow a pair.
2007-03-01 16:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋