Me and my baby father are going through something right now with a custody thing and the baby is not here yet. he threathen me on how dont want the baby to live with me. he call me selfish saying i want the baby all to myself me personally dont now no mother that carrys a baby fo rnine months and dont want the to live with them. honestly he dont even care that i am pregnant he say such harsh things like (if you die while in labor i can have the baby for myself). My baby shower is coming up in april and he dont even want to come and tell his family that i am not having one. he havent gave me dollar since he found out i was pregnant and always say he is unhappy that i am pregnant. And yet i am naming the baby after him i dont think he really should get that much. Now all of something hes talkng about he want partial custody. I'm only 21 years old i do work my house is very stable and unwed. what could i do?
2007-03-01 07:56:35 · 9 answers · asked by sweetheart85 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
i got pregnant when i was 20... the father, even tho we were engaged, freaked out and wasn't sure if he could do it or be apart of it. i had them when 21 and trust me he is beyond happy with them, and came around during the pregnancy.
however, since this guy seems like such a jack a$$ i say raise the baby on your own. you are not selfish!!! do not let him bring you down, a baby is a beautiful thing, and if he is the jerk he seems to be, why would you let him have custody? especially since hes denying you are even pregnant and is unhappy about it. make sure you do a paternity test and make sure he pays child support. it will help out with money. but you will be okay :) am assuming that you have the support of your family. they will help you out a lot.
i say forget him, and what he says. he's just a jerk. good luck and you can do it on your own! trust me! if you want something bad enough it can happen. sweetie really dont let him bring ya down... i hate guys like that! if ya need someone to talk to hit me up...
www.myspace.com/ricleigh
good luck and be happy!!! you are going to have a lil one soon! nothing is more beautiful
2007-03-01 08:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by ricleigh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off Im sorry your going through such hard times while being pregnant. Your supposed to be with your partner celebrating such a blessing. I know on your part your child is a blessing and never let him tell you the child isn't. Are you too still together? If you are counseling is what you both should look into.
If your not together I would suggest talking to a mediator in a Family Law court to see if anything can be done before the child is born.
I would wait till after the baby is born because if your babys father is like most men then once the baby is born he will more than likely accuse you of having slept with another man and not want anything to do with the baby so thats where it will then be on you and have to have DNA testing to prove him wrong and get custody papers from there.
All in all if you two are not together and he can be a responsible father if he does accept the child then remember its in the best intrest of the child to be allowed to be in both parents lifes to know you both. It may be hard to do that but as long as the child will be safe from harm.
I wish you the best of luck with you new little one.
2007-03-01 08:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by angel19778 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it's your body and your baby. There isn't a state in this country that will take the baby from the mother without justifiable cause to give it to the father. He's going to have to fight you to take that baby from you.
Second, don't tell him when you are going to the hospital. It's real easy. If he doesn't know you are giving birth and you don't want the baby to be a part of his life - simply don't put his sorry *** on the birth certificate. It's up to you - as is my understanding - who YOU list as the father on the BC. If you don't put him on there. He has NO CLAIM to the child.
Honestly, judging from the grammar of that question - you might want to consider adoption if you're going to carry the child to term.
But, also consider that there are two and a half million different public programs that will help single mothers raise a child. Most states have WIC - which will help feed that baby. There is food stamps, welfare, medicaid - all to help you with your little one. Some states even offer programs where they will pay for your child care so you can go back to school - which they will also pay for.
Look into the local programs in your area and seek the help of a professional. There are counselors that can help you make better decisions that will benefit your child.
If this guy is being a douche about you having a child. I'd leave him out entirely and take his *** to court to have his parental rights taken entirely. Many women are doing this on their own these days without the same social stigma that our parents or granparents experienced.
2007-03-01 08:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, i don't think you should name the baby after him! he doesn't even care that you are pregnant he just wants to be spiteful. i went through the same thing with my son's father. he left me when i was 6 months pregnant, and kicked me out. i was homeless with a baby on the way, and I'm only 20 years old. but the only thing that i can say is make the effort to invite his family to the shower whether he's coming or not., and whenever he talks harsh to you record him, so when you go to court you got prove on what a jackass he is. what I'm saying is try to prove him unfit before the baby gets here. e.g. does he smoke, drink, have a job etc.
2007-03-01 08:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 01:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell him to grow up first of all.Then you need to contact your local child support agency and they will help you with all the custody stuff and help you on what to do.I was in the same boat as you and I ended up naming my daughter my last name, he wasnt there to sign the certificate and because of that (we weren't married) I automatically got full custody and he pays child support.
2007-03-01 08:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by ♥It's a boy♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is scared of being a father and things will go wrong. Try talking to him and hopefully you can solve your problems! Best of luck and I think you'll be a great mother!
2007-03-01 08:01:06 · answer #7 · answered by Bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry there is no judge in the world that will give him custody no way anyway ask him if he is going to beast feed the baby or not feed him at all....honey stand up for whats yours.....good luck hun....
2007-03-01 08:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by MOMMY2BEWITH#1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that baby is funny looking
2007-03-01 08:00:44 · answer #9 · answered by Goosh T 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋