Maybe just me. I was divorced 11 years ago, I raised my daughter on my own, I never recieved support nor did I ask. Her mother went her way with her new husband. My daughter is getting married soon and I have paid 100% of everything including a Mexican honey-mood (5k). My x-wife hasn't paid a dime as expected but my daughter has bent over backwards for her mother to accomadate her every wish, many times at the expense of my feelings. I wanted to give my daughter the wedding I never got, her family never liked me because I didn't go to their church & religion. I hoped to do the prayer and the reception but my daughter say's her mothers brother (who has treated me very badly) wants to do the prayer, I was really hurt over this. My daughter just called me a yelled & screamed at me when I told her I willing looking forward to blessing her marriage, she said I was being selfish and it's her wedding. Her mother's family has never been there for her, I just don't understand
why? hurting.
2007-03-01 07:26:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I've always been there for her. We have always been so close but it always seems that she palces her mother & family way above me or my family. Maybe because her mothers family always treated me so badly. I have no bad feeling for her mother I just wish I could get the same respect...maybe it's a mother/daughter thing that I will never understand
2007-03-01 07:28:13 · update #1
Generosity is a wonderful personality trait to have. However, there are a lot of people in the world who are takers.
Your situation sounds similar to mine. My husband and I got custody of his son when he was 12. While she had custody, we paid child support every month. We've been good, consistent parents. We do things as a family and his dad takes him camping,climbing, surfing and snowboarding. His mom, on the other hand, has been inconsistent and never paid a penny of child support. Yet, at his 8th grade graduation ceremony, he stood in front of everyone and thanked his mom and "especially Andy for always being there". Andy was his step dad of the year (mom remarries about every 3 years) and never really cared for the kid. He wasn't even at the graduation. My point is, generous natured people are often taken advantage of and taken for granted.
Your daughter sounds like my stepson. You've done right by your daughter, she just doesn't appreciate it. SHE sounds selfish to me.
2007-03-01 07:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your daughter knows she can always fall back on you and you will always be there the catch her, she probably subconsciously wants the same from her Mother and does not realize what she is doing. She feels like her mother wasn't there for her and maybe now that shes doing something special in her life she will gain Mommy's love and get her attention. Do not be too upset or alienate your Daughter if you really love her be there for her and let her see what happens with her mother if it all comes crumbling down around her you'll still be there to pick up the pieces. I know your feelings are hurt but your daughter has gone yrs without her mother and she needs to see what could come of that relationship, possibly before she becomes a Mother herself.
stay strong for her
2007-03-01 07:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is probably that your daughter is desperate for approval. If her mother is sporadic with her attentions, then your daughter is probably trying to really hard to appease her, because deep down your daughter wants to believe that her mother loves her and that this time things will be different. It's like romantic relationships - many people will stick in a destructive relationship because they keep hoping the other person loves and needs them enough to change their ways. It stems from low self-esteem, believing that you don't believe any better, and thus you want to prove to yourself that you are worth it by getting this person to love you enough to change their ways.
Most likely she will wise up and probably will stop trying to appease her mother. But for now, there's not much you can do but wait. Trying to point out the faults in her mother, will only make her more angry with you, and probably more determined to make things up to her mother.
2007-03-01 07:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by LMS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly believe that some people have such low self-esteem (even though it doesn't show) that they think they don't deserve to be treated well and, thus, they despise the person who DOES treat them well for not being able to see what terrible people they feel they really are. They are so bound up by guilt that they lash out at anyone who is kind to them.
2007-03-01 07:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by JooniMoon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE YOU CAN'T PROTECT AND DEFEND WHAT IS INFLUX FROM ALL THE NEEDS THAT ARE OCCURRING BECAUSE OF EACH PERSON HAS THEIR PRIORITIES AND DO NOT C HOW IT PULLS THINGS APART. EVERY WAY U OFFER IS SUSPECT OF OPPORTUNITIES TO CHANGES. YOU PROBABLY DONE A WONDERFUL JOB AND DESERVE MORE THEN BEING TAKENN FOR GRANTED
2007-03-01 09:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your daughter strives for her mother's love maybe? she knows you love and support her. she has you... that might be why she's taking you for granted. she probably never got the love she longed for from her mother which makes her reach out or act out this way. us daughters can be stupid sometimes, she'll figure it out sooner or later.
2007-03-01 07:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by ..:: Liz ::.. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People take your kindness for weakness. Just stop being so nice and being such a push-over.
2007-03-01 07:30:03 · answer #7 · answered by Chrishonda Alston 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋