I've been married for almost 3yrs. As time goes on he likes sex less and less. We have a 6mo old baby so during pregnancy I sort of understand but even now I try and cann't get any he constantly turns me down. It's not like I've gained weight. (I actually weigh 10lbs less than I did when I found out I was pregnant) Otherwise my marriage is very good. I don't know what to do. I just want more sex or even affection. I've tried to talk to him about it and he just agrees with me about the situation but it never changes. I'm just very unhappy sexually. PLEASE HELP!!!!
2007-03-01 07:18:42 · 18 answers · asked by babygirl68132 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you still do other things together? Are you able to set up a "date night" so it's just the two of you? It's possible he thinks the baby has taken up much of your affection. Usually when partners stop having sex, it's because they feel emotionally distant. I think if you find out why the distance is there, you can bridge the gap.
Good luck!!
2007-03-01 07:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband won't admit to the possibility of a medical problem, then it sounds as though he may have married you more out of feeling of lust than love. That is a common problem nowadays between many people. Lust is more of a physical attraction that many feel is love because the pleasure that comes from it is so overpowering. It satisfies a physical need that your body craves and gives you a temporary feeling of emotional stability. When that feeling wears off your body craves it again until you perform the sexual act to satisfy it. After a while the mind tells the body that you need more than a physical act to satisfy your longterm emotional needs and the sexual acts aren't as exciting anymore. To put it bluntly, the person becomes bored with you. It's a mean thing to do to another person, but men and women both are guilty of it because they don't have a true understanding of what love is. It's because they have always concentrated more on the importance of sexual behavior than establishing an emotional connection. You can actually go through your entire life being a very good provider and father to your kids, but that doesn't mean you are a good husband. To have that you need to be willing to show your wife that you truly love her and want her life fulfilling(that also includes emotional needs are met). If not he doesn't have the desire to be a good husband. I know this may not solve your problem, but I hope it may help you to realize the cause behind it.
2007-03-01 07:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he agrees then make a plan and work it ....don't play games ..be honest and tell him horror stories about lost love over stupider stuff than what you guys are experiancing ...divorceis a killer ask anyone ..peoplewho wanted it and thought it was a great idea are feeling it 10 years later ...take seriously the little signsof problems before they escalate and fet him involved and ask him if he's there or having an unspoken problem ..ask himif he wants you to acta diffeent way to make him assoused or gethis attention try a whip and see what he thinks and like a horse don't just show it to him ..beat the heck outta himif onlyonceso you can laterlaugh about the time you needed his affection and weren't getting it
2007-03-01 10:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to go is to talk it out with your husband over this issue. After that, If you still feel not getting as what you want, Talk it out with a psychologist who would be able to help you and give you the options to look at the issues and work it out to solve the problem with you. I think its a worth it as try the psychologist or a marriage counselor. It is hard on yourself enough to try everyone's ideas on how to solve your problem when they don't have enough experience in psychology field.
2007-03-01 07:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by Julie G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not want any more children and doesn't know how to break the news to you. You'll need to ask him how he feels on this subject.
2007-03-01 07:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men just got to have it so rule out sexual indifference.
Erectile disfunction
OR
He's gettin' it elsewhere
OR
Internet porn has poisoned him.
I wouldn't accept his passiveness on this important matter.
2007-03-01 08:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by Mark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what you do: When it is his birthday or your birthday, or your anniversary, get some "toys" that will make him, feel single, again. Men like it when women use new ways of keeping the flame from going out. Be experimental.
2007-03-01 07:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by musiclover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some counselling for this. As much as we all hate to admit it, everyone has different sex drives and some people could just care less about it. Talk to a counsellor and also ask him his reasons for not wanting sex.
2007-03-01 07:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its cool he agrees but what is he doing about it? Its not fair to just deny you and not even explain why. I would suggest a sit-down followed by a doctor visit (perhaps he needs viagra) If he is unwilling to at least TRY to fulfill some husband duties...He is cheating.
2007-03-01 07:24:59 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a babysitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A crying infant can be a huge turn off, and besides you will be unable to relax and be at ease.
Wear something sexy, wear perfume and lingerie, pit on make up, lose the pony tail and the flip flops, send the baby to a by sitter/friend/relative. Burn some candles, get some wine.... and have your way with him.
Take matters into your hands...
Good luck
2007-03-01 07:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋