I am female and married and I know my husband would not appreciate it if my male friends spoke to me about sexual subjects or anything private of that matter. I know I wouldn't be too thrilled either if the tables were turned.
Am I right in asking my male friends to think twice about their language or topics when it comes to sexual matters?
One male friend of mine insists on not respecting this requiest and I've told him to either respect this request or I will just simply end the relationship. He states I'm too sensitive and need to lighten up. My husband and my marriage is my #1 priority and his feelings are what matter most to me. I want to honour that and respect him.
Your thoughts? Thank you.
2007-03-01 06:55:01 · 7 answers · asked by Nicki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As it turns out, he has apologized and realized that he can't guarantee that he won't speak to me in that manner again, so we have both decided to cut off our ties in this friendship.
I am not "one of the boys" and don't want to be perceived that way. If he can't handle that, then I had to let this friendship go and that is what I did.
2007-03-02 02:04:31 · update #1
No gentleman would discuss anything of a sexual nature in the presence of a lady unless it was his wife or significant other. Even then in private and not in public. You are not wrong in giving this man an ultimatium regarding your friendship and his use of sexually explicit talk around you. For him to comment "Lighten up" only shows his ignorance and stupidity. Just the type of man that is the subject of future sexual harrassment complaints too.
I cannot contest anything you've said. i agree with your thinking totally. Good for you and stand your ground. Low class bred ruffians and those insensitive to your respectful request have no further place in your life.
2007-03-01 07:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your male friend can't respect your request to keep topics away from things that your husband might not appreciate... that's not a good friendship.
Yes, perhaps you're being a bit strict, but there are a million things that friends can talk about that don't have to be sexual in nature. If he just *has* to talk about number million-and-one in order to push your buttons, it might be time to focus on your more stable friendships.
2007-03-01 07:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very right in how you feel about it.
Frankly, my wife & I have exceptionally open views regarding sexuality but we also know that some people are uncomfortable by such views and we are respectful of that and despite our open views we don't necessarily want to hear about everyone else's sexual matters either.
IMHO, if your friend doesn't respect your wishes he isn't really a friend.
2007-03-01 09:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by Alec_Storm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are 100% in the right place with this...any friend that will not respect your wishes on this is not respecting you or your marriage, and that's not being much of a friend to you.
Good for you for putting your husband and your marriage #1!
2007-03-01 07:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by ratgrrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to grow up and realize not everyone in this world looks forward to hearing about his personal life. Some things should be kept private and respected. For him to tell you to lighten up, shows his childish mentality. You gave him a choice and if he cannot respect your wishes, he needs to go as a friend.
2007-03-01 07:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if that friend of yours cant do a simple thing like that and respect your feelings on it, then he was never really a good friend to begin with. I think that you have every right to ask your friends about that.
2007-03-01 07:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What he doesn't know wont hurt him..I respect my husband in everyway, but sometimes it harmless.
2007-03-01 06:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋