Gay Relationship sexual abuse?

Question

I had been in an abusive gay relationship for over 20 years, from physical, to emotional to sexual abuse. It’s now been 5 year and have seemed to have recovered somewhat, however I am still in a legal battle with my x for the last 4 years to get my fair share of our estate.

I feel I am entitled ½ estate. My lawyer has told me this and based on what I have read I am entitled to ½.

In fact the judge had ruled in my favor only to reverse after my x claimed false facts making me out to be a non-contributing partner in the relationship.

My x has used every legal maneuver to stall or distort the facts as to try to recover move then 75% of the estate.

He now claims after 4 years in to the case that I had never contributed my half to the mortgage. I can prove I did contribute and in fact I contributed more then half and can prove thru checks and bank statement.

He also claims contributed a substantial investment in the home. This be true, however he did quitclaim me on the deed and gifted my half the property.

I have tried everything legally as to not play the abuse card, however now I feel I need to tell it all. I had suppressed this part of our relationship, partly out of embarrassment and mostly to spare my family and his family the public humiliation.

Not sure what to do, I keep going back a forth, should I just give in and let him have what he wants and move on with my life. But part of me thinks that if I do I’ll be letting him abuse me again and again.

Answer 1

This problem that you are having has nothing to do with being gay. These horrible things happen every day to people in relationships. The problem is that you are being viewed as a non-marital relationship (Like any other two people in a realtionship who split up) and there for using the law on your side is going to be a bit tricky because they are going to say that you were never legaly married (I believe loving people in gay relationships should be able to be married and have the same rights as straight people.) Although I give you alot of credit for not wanting to air your dirty laundry to the world and your families, you were loyal for 20 years to 1 person and you are entitled to half of the life you built togeather.

Personaly, I think you should fight for it. There were two of you who made the decisions, two of you who contributed to your family so why should you be the only one who has to start over? However, if this was an abusive relationship it may be worth it for you to cut all ties and say that this is the last time he will ever walk all over you. Many people never get out of these relationships until they find themselves in a casket. You should be proud of yourself for realizing that you were being abused and getting out. Your life may be the greatest gift that you could get out of this whole thing.

Whatever your decision is, I hope that you can finally be happy and move on to find someone who truly will apreciate you and treat you like an equal. You deserve that if for nothing else because you are a human being. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

Have you told your lawyer about the abusive aspect of the relationship? From my perspective, I feel like you should present the entire story to the judge. Would you rather live with short term embarassment or lifelong regret? This is between you and your ex-partner, how your families respond is their business. You should not let that affect your welfare and the half of the estate that you are entitled to.

Good luck!

Answer 3

if you dont have any proof of the abuse, he will deny it.
it could come out as a last ditch effort to get what you want....be sure you can legally support your abusive claims (i dont deny that you were abused, i am just saying be sure you can prove it)

Answer 4

i think that 25% is not worth you going through anymore abuse, just let the bastard have it and gt rid of him and go on with your life...........good luck!!!!

Answer 5

tell him how u feel