My mother is very strange help?

Question

My mother is a very odd person. When I have difficulty she likes to laugh at me, and try to frustrate me. She also enjoys trying to make me nervous and has always tried to limit my growth. For example, when I was in the hospital after the birth of my child she knew I was scared about my legs because they hurt so much so she told me I better run because I would die from a blood clot. I had a panic attack because of this. She also says horrible things about me, like when I had a hymenectomy she told my sisters I aborted a child. I was a virgin so this did not happen. She also used to slap me in the face when I was a teen and tell me that I would go to hell for looking at some boy, which I did not do, at least not around her. So strange considering I have only been with one person, my husband. What is wrong with her?.

I don't talk to her very often or leave her alone with my child. She is mentally ill I am certain. She used to threaten suicide when I was a child. When I would go to school she would lock herself in the bathroom with a knife but she never did anything. After a while it was just routine, one of her nuts days. She is not always horrible but it is a lot of the time and she appears to not have feeling for her children, when my sis was in a car crash and almost died she would not go and see her, that sort of thing

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! I don't know that anyone can "help" you with this, how another person acts is totally out of our control. I don't know if you have already, but just be aware that someday you may need to get help for yourself to deal with a childhood like this...NOT because there is something wrong with you, but because to deal with a person and a history like you have had to deal with will at some point probably become even more painful. Don't hesitate if this happens! Find a professional to talk to and you will be a healthier person all around. In the meantime, distance yourself because she will repeat this behavior to YOUR children! Spare them the pain you have had to deal with and control this situation. I believe that no one gets EVERYTHING in their life. This is a relationship you will probably never have, BUT look around and see the relationships you ARE blessed to have. Hold your Husband, your children and your other family/friends close, but keep that "Mom" at arms length...it's best for everyone.
Good luck and God bless!

Answer 2

I wonder..was your mother also subject this kind of violence from her mother or father?
I don't believe she is sick, only that she is suffering from a past experience or that she is experiencing some form of an emotional past.
You might need to speak to her about her past, and tell her that what she is doing now, doesn't seem fair or right to you. She might think that it is normal due to her past.
You can't just tell her you don't want to talk to her anymore. It might give her more reason to target you.
I suggest maybe going with her to a therapy session. If she refuses any help or to try to get help, suggest to her that you feel that it is needed at this time, due to the fact that its either that, or you will cut off all contact.
Its hard, but she will have to understand that she cannot control you anymore and she still is.
If you allow her to smack you around, while you hang your head in shame, she will still try to bring you down and shoot targets at you, to hurt you.
You need to be in control. You have a husband and soon to be a family. You need to stop this before it also gets to your children, or she will do this to your children.
If I were you, try this. If nothing works, you know your only option is to cut off all contact until you can learn how to face her and regain your sanity.

Answer 3

You probably already know that your mother is mentally unstable (which could be caused by something as simple as dehydration or as complicated as a brain tumor). You may be afraid to even think that she is having mental problems -- after all, she's your mother.

You have no control over how she will react to you -- you only have control over how you will react to what she does and what she says. At the present time, I would suggest not sharing your life experiences with her because the way she responds to that knowledge is upsetting you. (What she doesn't know won't hurt you!)

Be strong for yourself. Ask your siblings if they have noticed anything different about her reactions to them or if they have noticed if she has behaved oddly toward them or toward others. Together you may be able to help your mother and yourselves.

Answer 4

She sounds like she may be mentally unstable, and people like this are scary. What she has done to you can be considered abuse. You have your own family to take care of now, so as long as she continues to be this way, you should limit your interaction with her, to only times when it is totally necessary. And definitely limit your child's interaction with her as well. She needs help, and it sounds like she is deliberately trying to make your life miserable, maybe because she finds her own life miserable. But you have your husband and your child, you don't need her any longer. You've got your own family to think of now.

Answer 5

You two seem to have an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps some counseling would help you both to get along better. Hope your relationship improves. Since you're an adult you can do as you like now and limit your time together if you want to.

Answer 6

I had to alienate my mother because she was bad news. She much like your mother thrived on Conflict. Which translated into... Abusive, back stabbing, thievery, etc. You can't expose your children or your own self worth to that. Otherwise you will be back peddling your values and self esteem for the rest of your life.

Take it from me. It's a far better emotion to be lonely for family than to be broken hearted for being Judases by your mother.

Answer 7

i have nursed mendacity down on the floor interior the more youthful ones room on the library. That babe continually did acceptable nursing area mendacity and the older youthful ones were tricky housing on the floor... next element I knew i'd discovered a quiet nook to get the toddler fed. If their hadn't been youthful ones all rolling everywhere in the floor so as that being on floor regarded weird and wonderful i'd have in simple terms tried to sit down up. Pumped... public college bathing room at the same time as preparation. This became decrease back earlier I knew sufficient to insist on a extra acceptable position and time. i'd have my maximum sturdy classification artwork on seatwork at the same time as I excused myself to pump with a awful guide pump at the same time as sitting on a toliet interior the most disgusting bathing room interior the international.

Answer 8

If what you say is true then if I was in your possession I'd see a physiciatrist, but see if he can come over to your mother's home as a friend. This way he can observe for himself the problems. But remember he's not to say he's a doctor so that he can observe for himself. I will tell you it'll cost alot of $$$

Answer 9

I think you need to get distnace between you and your mother. That is the only solution. You will feel so much better if you become more independent from her and have contact only a few times a year, if that.

Answer 10

Yes there are some persons in this world who try to belittle others, but alas in your case its your MOM....

Maybe she has a same experience from her childhood days. Also it maybe because she is not ready to accept you in any condition

I wanna tell you one thing dont get afraid, get out of the loop, get going. THINK POSITIVE