I am a 37 year old man with a 16 year old daughter.I have had an off and on relationship with her mother over the years.Most recently my father gave her the keys to my house when I went to jail for 30 days and when I came home she was living in the house w/o my daughter. She's been there 3years and have not moved my daughter in yet.I had a girlfriend at the time I broke up with because I now had the opportunity for a "whole" family that included my only child and her mother.She is a very good woman,extremely loyal,very reserved, a very good housekeeper, toatally intraverted,and meek.The type of woman that makes a man look good.However, she is complacent, passive aggressive,cannot cook,and not ambitious.My girlfriend was just the opposite,outgoing,very attractive,very loyal,a phd candidate.However,she is very excitable,wants to get married bad,and has two children,yet she wants to have more when married.My question is, the g/f totally motivates and the mother is safe, who should I wed?
2007-03-01 06:41:02 · 18 answers · asked by shouldIstayorshouldIgo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've always liked complacient women, myself. I'd go with the safe one. She has a lot of factors in her favor, pluss the sharing a kid thing is pretty big in itself. The girlfriend sounds like she was a lot of fun when she was that, but really she doesn't offer anything you don't already have. Of course, none of this factors in matters of the heart, which you left out, so you'll have to weigh those yourself. But if the feelings for each are the same, having your daughter be able to come home to both her mother and her father is worth a lot.
2007-03-01 06:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever your heart tells you. Having a family is one big responsibility and you need to know if you can handle the situation. Have a family. But don't think of youself like you look like a better man. Thats just stupid to think. You need a reason like you love this woman. Do you love this woman? You need to tell her you love her. And give her good examples of what makes her that type of person. But stick to the heart not to the mind because it will take you on a wild love ride.
2007-03-01 06:48:05 · answer #2 · answered by heather n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, this is a tough question. Marry or not is not important, the most important is which woman can be having a long lasting relationship with you. And it is better take some time to work out who is the one...
2007-03-01 07:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by Inquirer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a hard one. To be honest and blunt, no one can answer that question but you. You have to search and weight your options and do whats best for you. Who makes you happy, no matter their faults. We all have things we don't like about our partners and no one will ever be perfect, not even you. So you have to take this and think about the girl who wants kids, do you want more, again, who makes you happy, who are you friends with and etc.... I hope this helped and good luck.
2007-03-01 06:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I vote for neither. If you can't give yourself completely and without hesitation to either one, if you are waffling or unsure at all, do NOT get married. Marriage is for people who are sure. I know -- I have been married for 20 years and have never second-guessed deciding upon the woman I married.
2007-03-01 06:49:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who do you love? If you are not sure, then you are not ready to get married until you are sure, plain and simple. Best of luck in whomever you decide. They might both turn down your proposal then you wouldn't have a problem as to who to choose. Just a thought.
2007-03-01 06:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a complicated man that isn't easy to please. Marry who you love mind, body, and soul and would literally die for. Don't marry just for the sake of getting married. Marriage is FOREVER, not until you get sick of the person. Sounds like you have some heavy soul searching to do.
2007-03-01 06:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry the mother, keep the gf as a lover,, steady piece of butt is worth it,,
go get a vasectomy
2007-03-01 07:47:24 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
which one makes you happy? which one makes you laugh? which one do you see yourself growing old with? Make a list of pros and cons of each one. Compare them. Sounds corny but sometimes looking at it on paper helps. Safe isn't always the way to go. It's what makes you happy, it's which one completes you.
2007-03-01 06:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by queenb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say neither of them. It would be far better to put both behind you and find a woman you can commit to without reservation.
2007-03-01 06:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by mopjky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋