Why did you never have children? Medical reasons? Personal reasons? Does the idea not appeal to you? Do you and your spouse have a sexless marriage? I'm just curious as I couldn't imagine my marriage without kids!
2007-03-01 06:30:34 · 7 answers · asked by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I mean 10+ years with NO kids in the relationship whatsoever. How come?
2007-03-01 06:44:41 · update #1
This question was by no means a way to "gloat" or say "ha ha". I didn't even think of how it may affect all of you when I posted it. I was ONLY curious as to why some of you do not have children but are married or have been married for quite some time. That is all.
2007-03-01 09:13:19 · update #2
We have been married for 23yrs without children. It was due too medical problems, we adjusted fairly quickly and had no desire too adopt/foster. We wanted children of our own, but realized it wasn't the end of the world that we couldn't. We have had a fantastic life, without the responsibility of thinking of the needs and wants of children first. ( obviously if we had children life would have been completely different for us, and they would have been a priority ) As time went on we saw friends and relatives grow into families, and with it witnessed the changes in their life style to accommodate their children. I am not saying my life in comparison to theirs has been "better", but looking in from the outside and witnessing the problems, worries,stresses and fears that come with being totally responsible, for the development, care, growth and wellbeing of other human beings, (for that is what they are, they are not just cute little dolls), and the parents being responsible for what type of adult human beings they are turning out into the world. I admit I sometimes find myself thinking how greatful i am not too have had that responsibility. We have always had children around us, nieces ,nephews, the children of friends and family, and i also work in an envoronment with children who are "disturbed". I like too think we have had a positive input in their lives, but am happy to hand back the major responsibility too their parents. In the meantime we have had many experiences in our own life that have not been made available too or that have been afforded by the people around us, who have had a family to rear. I have no regrets, apart from the ones i have when i see so many maladjusted human beings in the world, caused through their up bringing and lack of forethought by parents thinking, they were merely bringing some cute cuddly little babies into the world, without also thinking someday they will be adults and that how adept they are at functioning in it is their responsiblility.
2007-03-01 07:37:09 · answer #1 · answered by jennybuttins 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've only been married 3 years but we have no kids. WE haven't had any kids because its been a rough road and kids dont need to see things like that. And once we figure everything out we will try again. I also haven't been able to get pregnant in 2 years of trying. So more or less it is a medical reason. But I hope one day to have children. Right now I resent people that are able to have children, but can't take care of them, and I could take care of them but dont have any. I think life without children will be very hard.
2007-03-01 14:37:44 · answer #2 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I haven't been married for very long - over a year actually - but I liked your question just the same.
We don't have children and are not planning on having any for another 4 or 5 years. We want to travel and enjoy each other for a while. However, the more I think about responsiblities of having children, it scares me and makes me want to wait even longer. But then when I see my sisters with their kids, I want some! Confusing I know!
But no medical reasons or lack of sex, we just want time to ourselves without the fuss of children for a while. And then we'll add a few to the mix!
Hope this helped! â¥
2007-03-01 14:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
On the other hand there are people who get married for the purpose of having children, and then neglect their spouse and focus on the kids.
I've heard before (and seen related questions on Y!A) of people that are afraid to have children because their husband or wife may love the child more than them.
2007-03-01 14:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first husband already had two and wanted no more
My second husband was an abusive "high functioning" alcoholic and I did want to have kids with him
My third husband (now) and I are in our 40's...he's had kids, I haven't..he's had his "tubes-tied" (LOL!), and can't have any more..I am now in menopause so can't have them...(although my hubbie now is my absolute soulmate and would like to have had his children)...
The timing was never right...in my life...but I love my stepkids as though they were my own...And I firmly believe that you DO NOT have to have given birth, to know how to love a child...
2007-03-01 14:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by Toots 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
we were married for over eight years before our first son was born. we both wanted to make sure our relationship was strong enough before we started a family, and i have to admit, i enjoyed our "child-free" years when we could go and come as we pleased. I don't feel like I had to give up my freedom to have my kids.
2007-03-01 14:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by georgiagrits1 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
my parents had me when they were married for 13 years already... they never thought they could have kids... i think now that we are grown they wish they had not had us! ha!
2007-03-01 14:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋