We have been married for 4 years and i don't know what is going to happen. I do love him very much but i know we can't continue like this. We are arguing all the time about money, where we live, my family and the fact that i am studying and not working.
Please let me know what you think i should do.
2007-03-01 06:29:13 · 16 answers · asked by arsenalbelle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you honestly put forth a genuine effort to correct the things that bother your husband? GENUINE, HONEST, EFFORT? If you have with all your heart, and there is NO resolution, then probably so. If not, get back in there, and try harder!
2007-03-01 06:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will NOT like what I'm going to tell you, but you came here for some truth, yes?
STOP BEING SO DAMN SELFISH!
When you made a vow to this man, when you got married that marriage became the most important thing in your life, certainly more so than any career. If you love him and he loves you, you shouldn't even be discussing divorce at this point. If you love him, don't you realize how special what you have is? You should be working on ways to solve problems that are common to EVERY marriage. Unfortunately, we live in a narcisstic society and tend to think of ourselves first and foremost. But a relationship by its very definition is all about sharing. Are you living with family? If so, move out. You can never be a real husband and wife if you are living in somebody else's house, it will ruin a good marriage quickly. Go to school part-time and get a part-time job. It is not fair to shoulder him with bringing in all the money because you want to finish school. It is true that it will enable you to get a better paying job later, but your marriage is taking a backseat to your career. You risk losing the most valuable thing you can ever have, more valuable than a career or money or status. I certainly know how hard it can be sometimes to try to keep the love alive....it may not sound like it but I truly wish you the best.
2007-03-01 07:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is marriage honey. For better for worse for richer for poorer.
You need to find a compromise, what did you agree when you started studying - a length of time, your contribution, that he would support you for a bit and then swop? Maybe the time has come to do your bit for the family finances- he is your family now. Your guy is obviously worried about it so what can you do to help out instead of considering throwing on the towel the moment its not all Ken and Barbie?
Sit down and have an adult conversation, not an argument, about your finances, what you can do and how you are gonig to do it - together. When he is cooler he might see that supporting you through your study is a good thing - you can get an better job and then you can live in a nicer place and maybe he gets to go back to school or whatever, then he needs to agree not to use that to pick fights with you. Or it might be that he is worried and you can make small sacrifices to ease his concern.
2007-03-01 07:19:04 · answer #3 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide whats in your heart. If you argue all the time that is not good, but do you have times when you get along and can hold a conversation without arguing, can you talk calmly about these things? You say you argue about money, are you in a lot of debt? can you work part-time and still have time to study. If you do not have any kids right now, please wait until you both settle some of these issues.
2007-03-01 06:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by Mike S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you are arguing about your family? I was in a similar situation, it took me 3 years to walk out of my marriage because of arguments and the children stuck in the middle. You need to be able to sit and talk to each other. If you feel you can't do that, why don't you try and break the ice by texting jokey or sexy messages and bring the fun back - make each other feel that there is still that side to your relationship that you can build on. Everyone has arguments, I was lucky - I've a new partner and learnt from experience and I love him more than my I did my husband. If you feel you have a love and partnership worth fighting for, help it along - if not, it will fail and you will be upset. I hope everything works out for you. xx
2007-03-01 06:41:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, people who are married don't "break up" they get "divorced" and unlike "breaking up" "divorce" is a sticky messy legal battle in which you must make sure you have an attorney.
I think you need to suggest counceling with your husband to see if you can reconcile your differences in regards to your money and your family.
Most married couples do have arguments about money and family and learn how to work through them. Do what you can do to save your marriage before throwing in the towel.
2007-03-01 06:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by JesJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, study in the day and get an evening job, this should help, you have only been married a short time..try!
2007-03-01 06:34:20 · answer #7 · answered by doingitallforwrenches 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your ... you must be a young girl. I believe you don't need to break up the relationship. Try to discuss the issues with your husband and make sure you boht are calm. Think seriously. Breaking the relationship is not a solutions.
2007-03-01 06:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by Dumboo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
everyone goes through a bad patch in marriage and the easiest thing to do is give up and divorce well dont you gotta work at it it aint easy but you can sort it out if you really want to
2007-03-04 21:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by Sexy lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you?
Loving is great but hapiness is so much more important...
Believe me (a total stranger!!!) There is a lot of other men you can love and would love you back, but in a different way than now... Be strong and take your life in your own hands!!!
2007-03-01 06:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by Pois Chiche 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋