When you speak nicely about the parent who abandoned them and ran off with someone else? Aren't you teaching your children that it is OK to abandon your family and to lie and cheat and that the other person must just accept it and smile, i.e., be a doormat?
2007-03-01 06:27:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look at it as a way to show your children that things happen that we don't like,but life goes on . Be the better person here and just be a positive role model for your children. Kids understand when they have been treated badly.It's important you not make them pick sides on top of everything else they must deal with.
2007-03-01 06:35:41 · answer #1 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To a point i would suppose that you are .. but you must remember that the other person is still a parent as well, even though their choices were not necessarily ones you would have chosen. And puttin down the parent whom left eventually will back fire on you .. after all the children will grow up and make there own decisions regarding there parents ... all you can do is be there for them and guide them in a morally correct direction
2007-03-01 14:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by sacred 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone is saying you should become a doormat.But you shouldn't allow your feeling about anthor adult be taken out on your children.By doing so you are forcing you child to deal with adult issues that they aren't mature enough yet to be able to cope with.The children whom are abandoned by their parents aren't being taught that desertion is accetpable.It is quit the opposite.They know what it feels like to be the child in the situation and will probably try to do anything to prevent from being like the person whom deserted them.You need to learn to deal with the other person producttivly for the sake of the children involved.I know that you just want to take the a** that deserted their child and beat the heck out of them.But that won't help either you or the kids.I know how hard it is to be the one whom have to pick up the piece of these childrens broken lives after a parent or parents have deserted them.I have raised 2 nieces ,1 nephew,and a couple of great nephews and nieces that their parents dropped off like a unwanted dog.I wanted to kill my sister for doing what she did to her kids and grandkids I hated her and I still hate her.But I put up with her for the sake of the kids involved.I refuse to teach them how to hate.Hate is a wasted emotion that just messes you up It doesn't bother the person you feel that way towards they don't care.So by hating them you are letting them win.Because you are still consumed by your hate for them.And they have moved on to other things.
2007-03-01 15:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
um no. 'this is what you dont do' 'this is what happens when you do this' the child will eventually make his or her own choices in life. you set the foundation, you show them how to be kind and tolerant of others. the ex who ran off with someone else is not the same person who left the family in other words.
continuously living in the past and holding a grudge wont teach your kids anything positive either. their minds and hearts should be clear to love and respect someone who loves them and is kind to them. ok peace
2007-03-01 14:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not at all, you are keeping what is between adults, between adults. You are obviously still in the midst of the anger, you don't have to smile and be a doormat unless you chose to be, he left, you have all the power and ability to be the person you want to be, do you want to be the parent that is ugly and hateful or do you want to be the parent that is loving and supportive and doesn't involve the kids in adult issues.....the choice is yours.
2007-03-01 14:32:54 · answer #5 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kids take poor parental comments personally ... cause that other parent is part of them and when you say negative but true things about the other parent you are changing who they are. Remember if you don't have anything nice to say ... don't say anything. You will be grateful when in the end your kids don't resent you!
To err is human ... to forgive divine!
2007-03-01 14:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are teaching your children that the other parent is a good person. If you don't feel they are, that's YOUR opinion and should not be force fed to the children.
2007-03-01 14:32:55 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say keep your mouth shut... kids are smart, and it doesn't take them long to figure out if one of their parents is an ***. Just think of how good it will feel when some day you overhear your child say what an *** his or her other parent is, without you ever having coached them to say it.
2007-03-01 14:50:39 · answer #8 · answered by mloraine76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope... your allowing them to decide for themselves thru time. The truth will come out. You downing him will discredit you quickly since children have invisible loyalties to both parents.
2007-03-01 14:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So are you saying that the children should have no contact with the PARENT. You are very BITTER. WHY?
2007-03-01 14:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋