I have this older woman (than me by 20 years) that has tried, not so slyly, pick up on my boyfriend. He is a on the board of a chamber and she is a member. He has been oblivious to it until she went too far and was "left" by her friend at a function and asked him to give her a ride. At this point I pointed out she was trying to pick him up and to be careful. Now I am going to a function with him and I know she will be there, I’m sure we will get introduced, and I loath to shake her hand, or be nice, but I have to be polite. How would you handle this situation?
2007-03-01 05:40:03 · 27 answers · asked by mudd_grip 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She does know he has a girlfriend.
2007-03-01 05:48:31 · update #1
I trust him, there is no issue with that at all :-) He comes home to me every night! And Im not angry that she finds him attractive - I can see why :-D But to continue with the stupid high school ploys is getting agravating. And I dont want her touching me. THAT would make me angry
2007-03-01 05:53:19 · update #2
Be outrageously charming. Remember, he chose and continues to choose you. Failing to be less than charming would scream insecurity.
"Oh yes, Gus has told me about you!" (Feel free to change this if your boyfriend's name isn't Gus)
No little digs, no sly references, no icy treatment. Be nice because you are nice and because you are secure in what you have.
Okay, I'll spot you one dig. She's 20 years older, call her ma'am. You get points for verbal respect, even though you're basically calling her an old bag.
2007-03-01 05:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be tactful. When your introduced, be polite, and then go on to talk about how wonderful your beau is and all your future plans. If alone with her for even a moment, seize the opportunity! Quietly say to her that your boyfriend says there's some "older" woman who is nearly his mothers age hitting on him at these functions, and that he says it's driving him nuts! Tell her the extent of some of her ploys that your boyfriend has told you about (ie ride home, etc)That he says if she doesn't stop he's going to have to embarrass her by asking her to cool it. Ask her if she has any idea who it might be, that not knowing is killing you! This way, your the coy one, and she will get the hint, minus any major public humiliation. Good Luck!
2007-03-01 06:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Green eyed girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds terrible but I keep all my so-called girlfriends away from my male friends.Some women cannot be trusted,I learned the hard way.Some women I never thought would act flirty around my guy proved me wrong so I never put myself in that position again.As for the men I realize if he would respond to the advances,he is not someone I would want to be with anyway.Having said that it would be difficult for a guy to refuse some women because it seems they are so desperate for a man they act really seductive and some men have Di+k for brains.I no longer am in the game,can,t take it any more.You don,t have to shake her hand just ignore her without being too obvious.
2007-03-01 06:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by joan b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be polite and patience baby girl. I have had the same thing happen to me. I met the lady at a military function that had an affair with my military husband. I chose to forgive, not forget and kindly let her know by conversation if the opportunity presented itself stay away from my husband, I would shake her hand and look her directly in the eyes to let her know, I knew about her stay away.Women are very good at reading between the lines, she will get the point. Good Luck
2007-03-01 06:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by bingomom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put yourself in her shoes... think of what in the world must be going through her mind...
I'll assume your B-friend is close to your age... so she must be significantly older than him to... or perhaps not... ok drop that...
so... does she know about you...
is she your friend... what reason would she have to respect you and your relationship with your boyfriend...
OK so you are a good person and would never do that...
But for 1 second think... why would you do it... perhaps you are really lonely... and completely messed up... "she went too far" sounds like she drank too much... perhaps she is an alcoholic... or is simply just out of her mind...
either way... how can you be mad at her... you should pitty her... you should feel bad for her... almost to the point where you want to help her...
I hope that helps you get over your anger...
2007-03-01 05:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by AvidBeerDrinker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smiles .w/ the politest greeting & firm hand shake... Compliment an attribute she has. either professional or personal... BUT you better keep an eye out when shes near him . Powerful woman have a way of getting what they want . You may make him or break him Dear!!!! !st impressions r usually DEAD ON>>>>>>>>>
2007-03-01 05:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your bf wouldn't be interested in her or he would properly have done something by now,( he properly doesn't want to be seen out with his mother ha ha ha) he doesn't want to be impolite by not mixing with members. When you go to the function and are introduced shake her hand, but make sure you are better than her and not stoop to her level
2007-03-01 05:49:24 · answer #7 · answered by kittiebann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate situations like this. Definitely clue in your boyfriend to show you some extra affection when she is looking. Look awesome and have a great time.
Tell her that your mom or grandma has the same outfit she has on. That should do the trick.
2007-03-01 06:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by Li 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with bnbt2004!! If he is really oblivious to her coming on to him, time hasn't taught her much about men!!! Besides, the situation is pretty funny if you relax. Sure, be polite. Let your boyfriend do the talking. Besides, if he is now hip to it, this is all making him feel VERY uncomfortable. How would you feel if some older guy came on to you? Ewwww..
2007-03-01 05:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you absolutely sure that was her intent? You weren't there. You did not see it happen AND your boyfriend told you about it! You are lucky to hv a good man.
When you meet her be kind and good. She is a work colleague of your hubby. Don't embarrass him.
If in the future if you are absolutely sure that her intent is unfavourable then be sure and GO TO EVERY FUNCTION your bfriend asks you to.
Finally, your bfriend will be aware, discuss it, and come to a reasonable, mutual solution.
Be good to yourself... you deserve it.
2007-03-01 05:50:47 · answer #10 · answered by choose happiness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋