My husband thought I was cheating on him but the guy was just a friend and we were just talking.My husband beat him up really bad.Odviously we are not friends anymore.I just want to know how can I make my husband trust me again and realize I didnt cheat on him.
2007-03-01 04:50:21 · 25 answers · asked by Ashley N 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sit down and really talk with him. Share your feelings and how you feel about your husband and how you feel this guy was your friend - and maybe what you talked about.
Communication of the events should be the main topic and keep it controled - voice and actions. Let your husband know it is him you love
2007-03-01 04:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem is not you but your husband ! A mature person knows how to trust and be trusted by their loved ones . You blame yourself because you lack self confidence and your husband has to control your every moment because of his sever insecurity . His violent temper is a thing that will , if unchecked will get worse and may eventually be directed toward you . You both need professional advice but my guess is that a person like him can't take any advice and you are not strong enough to stand up to him without fearing him. You are already a victim by allowing him to dominate you so completely .
2007-03-01 05:21:03 · answer #2 · answered by Froadrick 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people obviously think that marriage means you should isolate yourself from everyone but your spouse. That is stupid.
In my opinion, you need to convince your man that he needs to go to the guy's house and appologise to him. If you were truly not intimate with your friend, you husband had no right to behave that way. You will only be validating his belief that you were cheating if you accept his behavior and change your social life around him.
Trying to regain his trust any other way will not work. He will always remember you and your friend as a lapse of fidelity unless you set him straight. Always.
2007-03-01 05:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So rather then get to the bottom of things your husband just beats the guy up. Was he arrested for it? He should have been. And you should be ashamed of yourself for not intervening if you had any idea it was going to happen.
If you behaved in a way that gave your husband any reason to suspect you, then don't behave that way again.
If your husband is the violent, controlling, paranoid nut that he sounds like, I hope you don't have any kids with him.....
2007-03-01 05:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't 'make' your husband do anything ... you should try to do things in a way that makes it 'obvious' that you didn't cheat and that he can 'trust you' in the future ... and that means that you may have to 'do things differently' and even 'be submissive to him' more often than before ... and don't 'fight or argue' about this ... just 'be as good as you can be' and give it time.
2007-03-01 04:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by Kris L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sure seems like your hubby is insecure. There is no sense in him beating that guy up like that.......when you're the one with the commitment to him. He may never trust you.....and possibly never trusted you from the beginning. This should bring up red flags all over the place for you. If I was the other guy, I would have filed charges on him. Just make sure he doesn't do the same to you. If he does....then leave him immediately.....no second chances......nothing. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-01 04:56:38 · answer #6 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well as u know now u cant have a guy for a friend because ur husband doesnt like it... so for one tell him u wont have friends of the opposite sex... you know guys have a jealous nature and it hurt his ego that u chose to be his friend maybe u need to talk to him more. trust is earned.... so it might take a while for him to trust in you again... even though u didnt have sex with that other guy... he wants to know u only need him....
2007-03-01 05:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are 2 types of affairs.....physical, where you sleep with them........ and emotional........which is where you share everything with your friend....and it evolves form there...it does not have to get physical. Emotional affairs in my opinion hurt worse and are harder to get over....because you have told some pretty intimate information about you and your husband to your "friend". I doubt that your husband will ever be able to trust you 100% again....to him you were unfaithful, and affairs of the heart you just don't get over. You are just going to have to work really hard. But don't expect anything.
2007-03-01 04:58:43 · answer #8 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do. You were already being trustworthy and he's still flying off the handle. What else could you possibly do besides mounting a video camera on your head so he can watch your every move? This guy sounds like a violent, unreasonable psycho and you should definitely lose him asap.
2007-03-01 04:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by a female 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeahm they all start as being "just" friends. If you had to hide your so call "friend" from your husband, then you were not just friends.
You bretrayed your husband's trust. You chose friendship over marriage,...so let your "friend" house you and pay your bills...
2007-03-01 05:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋