when he offers to take his steptaughter , who has studied psycology in high school, to the mall , and when they return. The daughter has been persuaded to see things at home through his vengful mind? and she begins to speak for him , words of painful accusations. What can a mother do in such an unreasoning situation?
2007-03-01 04:21:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Wow, it sounds like the lines have been drawn and sides are forming. I don't think you should continue to live like this. I think you should seek the help of a professional and all of you should begin family counseling. Otherwise, it won't be long before this family ceases to exist as such. If that's not your desire, then get help now. Take them kicking and screaming with you if you have to, but get them there.
2007-03-01 04:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Dino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does this last a long time or does she stop the abuse?You can say now daughter you know that's not true. Or what makes you say that?Or, if it is true talk to her..that's the best thing I think, is to just talk to her about why she feels that way, what makes her say such things?Does she really think that's true? Don't get mad be calm and collected and try and see if you can make her see it's not her words there his.ask..why do you feel that way?Of course the simple solution is not to let her go to the mall with him.
2007-03-08 20:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by little3nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a time out. Let the daughter cool down and speak her mind. After the daughter is finished they need to all sit around and calmly talk about what is going on. It will help if everyone went to a corner with a pen and paper and wrote down how they felt and than discussed it in a rational matter. It is good to talk everything out in this situation because it sounds like a case of mis-communication in-which is the base for most problems.
2007-03-01 12:34:19 · answer #3 · answered by everythingszenidontthinkso 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is slightly confusing. i presume you mean your husband taking your daughter (his step-daughter) out?
are you suggesting there's unrest between you and your husband, and he's trying to get your daughter to side with him?
it's difficult to say much without knowing what the problems are, but it's fairly obvious what his motives are for behaving the way he does.
he plainly believes he is right, and is trying to win your daughter over, perhaps in an effort to persuade you to see things his way.
it sounds as though you feel betrayed by your daughter for 'siding' with your husband instead of you, her mother ... isn't blood supposed to be thicker than water?
if she's been so easy to convince then perhaps she actually agrees with your husband, and in that case perhaps you are being unreasonable and are just unable to see it?
the other thing that isn't clear from your question is whether your daughter is being "persuaded" by your husband buying her things ... the trip to the mall is in order to buy her something, which is in effect a bribe, which sweetens her up to see him as a "nice guy" and see things from his point of view.
that then makes you look selfish ("you never buy me anything") as you can't compete with the bribing (nor should you).
you describe your husband as "vengeful", do you still live together? it sounds like there are serious problems in your relationship and your daughter is caught in the middle ... do you know who's honestly at fault here? perhaps you and your husband should seek counselling?
i think we need more information to be able to help you, but in answer to your question his motives are simply that he wants her onside. if you're looking for advice on how to handle the situation, if you feel like you're not getting through to your daughter then I'd still recommend family counselling - you need to find a way to calmly connect with your daughter and discuss the situation, trying to help her (not force her) to understand what you're going through and what your perspective is ... in order to do that you need to be able to take a balanced view of the overall situation, and you may be too close to the issues to do that without help.
2007-03-01 12:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by brightspark 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking high school psychology doesn't mean anything in this situation, it doesn't teach about persuading someone. If you think he is a bad influence on your child perhaps you should not let them hang out together anymore.
2007-03-01 12:31:08 · answer #5 · answered by heavy_cow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His stepdaughter - meaning your own daughter? I'm not sure I quite understand. Your husband is trying to turn your own daughter against you? I'd nip that in the bud pretty quickly. Perhaps you can't change her mind right away, but I wouldn't stay married to someone who tried to turn my own daughter against me? Is he buying her things she wants, in return for her taking on his vengeful thoughts? That's some nasty form of conspiracy!
2007-03-01 12:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you're with this man because?
Who cares what his motives are?
Sounds like he's hurting you both. In the immortal words of Dr. Phil, "how's that working for ya?"!
2007-03-01 12:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by gtravels 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if this is a high schooler, who has taken psychology, s/he should have some type of insight.
2007-03-08 22:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow him to be around the step-daughter.
2007-03-01 12:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing to do would be to state it out loud in front of both of em, what just happened, and how u feel about it.. Lay it out real. What i would do.............
2007-03-01 12:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by jkp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋