Brief scenario:
An ex left you for someone else their reasoning is for convenience. They kept in contact with you all this time, asking you how you are and that they still care for you. You moved on, ex moved on, but they still want you back. They tell you that they miss you and that you are the love of their life. They have lied to you and treated you bad in the past, but it has been over 8 years and they still insist on that you are meant to be together. Do you give them a chance or not and why?
2007-03-01 04:08:08 · 16 answers · asked by sweetpee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My ex was not with the person he left me for all these 8 years. They tried to come back before then, but I had moved on and did not want them back. I just wanted to aks the guys out there, is it true once a cheater always a cheater?
2007-03-01 04:46:09 · update #1
No, you don't give them a chance because even though people can change their ways, if they have consistently treated you one way, chances are they aren't going to change the way they treat YOU.
Optimism is a good thing, but I think the realistic thing here is that as much as it would be nice for it to be true, it follows that because of the way this relationship dynamic has played out in the past it is also the way it will play out in the future.
Be strong.
HUGS
2007-03-01 04:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by ladygirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
O.K. Here is my opinion on this..Your ex left you for someone else, yet for 8 years, that person has led you on, keeping you close, telling you that they miss you and still care for you...
I honestly believe that if YOU are the love of their life like they say you are...YOU would be the love of there life, just plain and simple, You would be the ONE in there life.
Sounds like your ex is really confused...Im sure that they may still love and care for you...thats natural. But why would they be with someone else for convenience..If you are the one they truly love? And ask yourself this question: Do you want to be with someone..whom you know, will stay with someone for 8 years just for convenience...They left you once before, may leave you again, If you were to take this person back.
Its alright to still care and love...But I would give an ultimatim, and say Him or Me! And then go on with your life....
really go on, If your ex stays with this person...you need to cut all ties, or you will spend the next 8 years, listening to all this, and putting your life on hold, wasting your time, that you could be spending making some very precious memories with someone else. It all depends on what you want...either you continue to live like this...Or go on, and make a life for yourself.
This person may really love and care for you, But tell them you need more for them to just say it, you need them to show it.
Good Luck and I wish you the best
2007-03-01 12:29:13 · answer #2 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they hurt you over and over in the past why would you put yourself back int hat position but people can change and it has been over a period of time so you could give them another chance but always put your feelings first not theirs and tell them how they hurt if they start that cycle again but it would be best to start back as friends and learn each other all over again since they say that have changed.Hopefully it is for the best.
2007-03-01 12:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by Kiara H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People CAN change. BUT I would make darned sure there was positive change before jumping back into a relationship. Give them a chance...cautiously. If you see the same patterns and don't notice a big difference, then the person probably hasn't changed. Tell them they have to prove themselves to you.
Love is not enough...respect, understanding, trust, kindness, honesty....all very important issues in a relationship.
2007-03-01 12:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by Nepetarias 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone definately can change....but...you still have to keep urs guards up, because when someone does something they have the abilty to do it again. Above all...you need to forgive that person in order to move on...and trust that they are sorry and that they won't do it again.
Even so, you should still give that person a second chance, this might be the person to make u happy in the future.
All the best!!
2007-03-01 12:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by she 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a bad apple always a bad apple. i believe you should move on because he still sound like he hasn't change one bit . if you decide to take him back he would make it look like that he have change is way for a couple of month, but he would be back to his old way and then you feel that you have been cheated again. then the problem will start all over again. i believe you have better chance to move on and find someone how would appreciate you for all that you are worth.
2007-03-01 12:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by jiovani g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its just wishful thinking..all a fantasy.
I am like this too. My ex and i both messed up. He moved on and i moved on.
After 4 years i kind of want him back to make things work. But I know he is better off where he is now.
2007-03-01 12:11:41 · answer #7 · answered by Triskelion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance only if you are a glutton for punishment. He is characterized by being a deceitful jerk. You can do much better than that! I want you to have a happy life, not a life of mistrust and disappointment.
2007-03-01 12:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by Joan H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Did he spend all that time away from you by himself? or was he out screwing around? He sounds like he thinks he can control you again and wants to try. Find yourself a guy who'll treat you right and be yours and yours alone. you deserve a man of your own. Don't settle for anything less.
2007-03-01 12:12:58 · answer #9 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can they ? Yes! Will they? NO! Do not give him a chance. He will only hurt you all over again! He is an EX for a reason!
2007-03-01 12:21:52 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋