My best friend is off the deep end. He's a trust funder, and a lawless, 34 year old, drug user. At the same time, he is a gifted actor. He attended a top rate University, is amazingly creative, but is doing little with his life. He's in Los Angeles, and is out of control. He has no money, and he's gotten himself into yet another legal bind. He's always been there for me during hard times, but I've never needed financial assistance.
Me- I have a job, a wife, and a daughter. I'm settled down from my wild life. I dont have much money after the mortgage, daycare, college funds, and retirement funding.
Should I help my friend, or should I let him go to jail? What would you do if your best friend was in a similar scenario?
2007-03-01 04:01:35 · 6 answers · asked by good_old_hank 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Do not bail him out with a bondsman...if he has done something that will require jail/prison time after his trial and sentencing he may as well start clocking the days now. Not knowing what it is he has done will change any answer I give as it would be crime specific...or maybe my psychic hat will work today. Most counties here have free look ups for Superior Court Civil and Criminal Court actions filed and prosecuted. Look up his record (free) to know the truth about his past and present criminal court actions...even his traffic tickets will come up.
I assume you are a considerable distance from LA and there are a few things you can do. Accept his collect calls (these calls are very pricey), put money on his books for his soap and shampoo etc, write him letters, check out the attorney he is assigned, advise him he can fire the attorney that is assigned to him if he feels he is not being represented fully and offer him moral support.
It won't be you letting him go to jail it will be The People of the State of California that will sentence him according to the offense he is found guilty of. His being in jail while he awaits his trial date will dry out his drug habit but he will continue to be a user as there is little or no counseling while he is incarcerated. His recovery will begin when he is released and can then chose to go get or to stay clean.
It never feels good to know a friend is going to jail/prison but we all have choices in life. Choose your family first!
2007-03-01 04:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, do not help him financially, seems like that's what has always kept him or out jail, maybe he needs a wake up call, jail might acually straighten him out a little. The best way to help him is just be there but don't offer money. he made his bed now he must lay in it.
2007-03-01 12:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has hard as it may be, it is not your responsibility to bail out your friend. Your family's needs must come first.
Explain to your friend that you want to help, and do support him, in any way but financially. You simply don't have the funds. It's completely understandable.
2007-03-01 12:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say to ask your wife about it. If she says it's fine to help him out, then do it. If she's not too hip to the idea, then don't.
Maybe what he needs is a time to sit and think about what he is doing with his life. If you bailed him out everytime he got into trouble, he would never stop his course.
But if you couldn't b/c you had to keep your priorities in order, then maybe he'd see the importance is putting priorities in order.
Hope this helped and wish you and him the best! â¥
2007-03-01 12:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it were me and i didn't have that much money to spare i would tell him how i couldn't do it because my FAMILY COMES FIRST! if there is any other way to help him then i'd do it. if he's a good friend he will understand! good luck!!
2007-03-01 12:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by candacerocks_2005 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, your family should come first but I would do whatever I could for him without affecting them.
2007-03-01 12:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋