My friend, who I gradually am learning not to trust with my personal information because she does not know how to keep discrete information private. She has told people personal things that I have said to people I would have prefered not to know about it and it has created a big dramatic mess in my life. I am learning that although she is fun to be around, she just can't help but gossip and tell people other's personal secrets. Recently, she has befriended this person who is a little like me, trusting, maybe a little naive. He has begun to share secrets with hre and share intimate details. ONe of which, he specifically prefaced with, "do not tell anyone, especially [ME and another friend of hers]" and guess what, SHE TOLD ME. I am not going to blab around his secret, but i thought it was distasteful for her to tell me, WITH OR WITHOUT him having to preface it. The fact that he DID makes it worse. Should I tell him she told me? just to give him caution about what he shares w/ her?
2007-03-01 03:40:40 · 11 answers · asked by Happy Annie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Annie ... A difficult situation, indeed. Yes, I would at LEAST tell your friend to be more aware of the personal information he's revealing. If you want to risk the possible "fall-out" that might occur, you might even reveal who the source of the leak is, but as I suggested, there could be fall-out.
My daughter once came home crying ... She told her BEST friend something that her friend was not supposed to share. It took me a long, long time to learn this lesson myself, but this served as a very effective lesson.
I took this example and used it for another lesson, too. I told her that if someone reveals a secret to me that I'm not supposed to repeat, it potentially places an unfair burden on me. I say this because so many friends share information with me; some is repeatable and some is not. And now I'm supposed to remember what I wasn't supposed to repeat? I have enough to worry about. Sometimes the fact that the secret was shared in confidence is not always obvious and sometimes I don't remember.
Therefore, I don't mind my friends chatting/sharing things with me. We all learn a lot about life from one another. BUT, when it comes to repeating things, I have a pretty solid don't-repeat-anything policy. It's the safest bet.
Good luck, Annie.
2007-03-01 03:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl is nothing but trouble! Gossip can cause more hurt feelings and drama than anything else. I think you should casually mention to him that she loves to talk and you have found that you can't trust her to keep things to herself. I would also talk to her about it. Tell her that it really bothers you when she tells you things that others have told her in confidence and it makes you wonder if she talks about your private things, too. Tell her that you aren't into gossip because too many people can get hurt and you'd appreciate it if she didn't share any more of people's secrets with you. Don't trust her, she's shown you what she's like and it's not good. One day this is going to catch up with her and she'll be the one in the hotseat.
2007-03-01 03:48:56 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that he should be careful in what her tells her. I wouldnt go and spill his little secret back to him. And no matter how fun this girl is to be around, is it really worth it in hte end? Doesnt sound like someone I would want to spend my time with.
2007-03-01 03:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that your friend is not a very good one because you can't really trust her not to tell your secrets I think it is best just to warn her new friend and talk less to her and go about your own business
2007-03-01 04:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kiara H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it to yourself, just be really careful what you tell this other person because, they obviously do not know the meaning of the word discretion!
2007-03-01 03:48:49 · answer #5 · answered by mardaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure I easily have had a chum like that and he or she thoroughly like destroyed me, so then like a week later I have been given returned at her, by utilising thoroughly destroying her. by utilising telling human beings secrets and methods she advised me. additionally I advised a guy she cherished that she cherished him and it became right into a nicely-liked dude and he did no longer like so he in simple terms made exciting of her and stuff lke that. So in the tip I felt so great approximately it. i be responsive to i could be fairly impolite, yet who provides a care. I do what it takes make me chuffed and sense stable approximately myself. And please do no longer remark me returned and phone me something like the "b" observe in view that is in simple terms thank you to impolite.
2016-10-02 04:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you should go and tell him what she said because once you tell him his going right back and tell her that you told him and its going to go on and on back and forth he said she said. just let it go if she come to you to tell you any thing else just tell her that you don't wont to her to talk to you about what someone else told her.
2007-03-01 04:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Kytisha22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i dont know if that really in your place to tell him that because if they start fighting because of that then she will get mad at you. try to talk to her about it and tell her that you need to stop saying things
2007-03-01 03:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, tell him, that way he know s to keep his guard up around her from now on and what not to tell her... you'd want him to do that for you. wouldn't you?
2007-03-01 03:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, just keep it to yourself and try to forget you know about it.
2007-03-01 03:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by pooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋