I noticed that in some places the divorce rate is high but why??.. if a husband and wife married that should mean that they are soul mates right??.. and love each other trust etc... but why divorce getting worse??
2007-03-01 03:07:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The divorce rate is so high for a number of reasons.
1) People don't take any responsiblity in the spouses they choose. They get married right away to people they barely know, and then they end up divorcing later because they realize that they didn't know that person as well as they thought, and they certainly don't like them.
2) People don't try enough. Lots of people give up after a "big fight" because they aren't willing to work for a resolution. Marriage takes work--a lot of it--and many people give up when they realize it isn't easy.
3) People are abusive. Whether it is from drinking, drugs, or actual physical/emotional/mental abuse to a spouse, lots of divorces are ending because someone abuses the other, or abuses a substance that causes them to abuse the other.
4) People are becoming increasingly involved in having affairs and looking at porn. With the increased availability of pornography and "relationship" sites on the net (i.e., sites where you meet people, usually geared toward singles looking for someone to date), people slowly fall into a trap where they begin looking at other men/women, talking to othe rmen/women, and eventually sleeping with other men/women, which destroys trust and marital fidelity. It also destorys the self-esteem and confidence of the spouse.
5) Financial arguments. One spouse is particularly careless with money and would rather buy a new car than pay the mortgage. Which is, in its own sense, abuse.
6) Divorce has become a social norm. People go into marriages thinking, "Well, if this doesn't work I can get a divorce and try again." When marrying someone, divorce shouldn't even be in your vocabulary. It should certainly not be considered a "fall back" if marriage fails. Besides--you shouldn't be thinking about marriage and divorce at the same time. It just doesn't make sense.
7) I think people are getting married too old. YES, too OLD! I was married at 17, and I've done a lot of growing, changing and maturing since my wedding. But because I've been with David (who was 19), we've grown in the same direction. We've grown together because we've relied on each other and helped each other. I think that waiting until you're in your 20s or 30s is a poor choice, because you have already grown and matured, and you are set in your thoughts, ideals, habits, and ways. Thus, it is hard to integrate two individuals who have lived independently from each other, because they have different preferences and lifestyles (from the way they brush their teeth to the foods the eat, the way they drive and the way they like the furniture set up! Or how many kids they want... etc.). Because I was young, I was able to grow with my spouse, and we were able to decide what kind of a couple we wanted to be and grow into those roles.
2007-03-01 04:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think marriage itself is much too easy. People are carried away by the initial feelings of euphoria and are misled into thinking those feelings will last forever. When those feelings disappear, it's what's left that determines whether the couple have enough love and respect for each other to make a successful marriage that will last for life. I also think people get married when they are too young. While of course the whole of your life you are learning, in your twenties you are still so new, and going through so many experiences that will help you make wiser decisions next time. I wish I had postponed love until at least my thirties, even my forties, and spent my twenties concentrating on developing my skills and fulfilling some goals. Not that love isn't worth it, I just think I didn't have enough knowledge or experience to know what I was doing, did it all the wrong way round and wasted too many years. I think getting married - even getting involved at all - has to be my biggest regret.
2007-03-01 11:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is believed, that the reasons, why the divorce rate is so high, is because, people living in common in law relationships, and then get married, and then something happens, then they get divorced. Another reason, is people get married way to young, and they can't understand, that waiting for the right man or woman, is the better thing to do. Or they have kids, outside of wedlock, and that can cause a lot of problems, but not always.
2007-03-01 11:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Our core values as a whole have changed. People get married for all the wrong reasons. Society tells us it is okay to get divorced if it doesnt work, you can even watch Divorce Court on TV.
There is so much 'sexuality' in the public view now, that people cheat and act stupid, even when they may truly love the person.
2007-03-01 11:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Momma 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We've been happily married 36 years, and I guarantee you, some of the most common reasons for marriages or relationships failing, are a lack of any (or all) of the following:
1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.
2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.
3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.
4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.
2007-03-01 11:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Because most people in our society want an easy fix and don't want to be bothered with working hard for anything. Marriage (all relationships) are hard work. You have to work daily to keep your marriage strong and people don't bother. Add that to the fact that divorces are so easy to come by and you have a huge divorce rate.
2007-03-01 11:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mommyof4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it's easy to just throw in the towel and not try to work it out. I've been married 17 years and there have been times, I want to choke my wife and there have been times, I realize I'm a lucky guy and wouldn't trade her for the world.
We live in a disposable world. Think about it. When people get tired of a car, we trade it in. When we get tired of taking care of a dog who isn't a cute puppy anymore, we take it to the shelter or give it away or worse. It's just too easy to throw away your spouse.
Pretty sad.
2007-03-01 12:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are so far from God it is not even funny.
I have heard that 50-60% of first marriages fail and 75% of second marriages fail. The #1 reason for divorce in America...MONEY. The # 2 reason...infidelity.
2007-03-01 11:12:17 · answer #8 · answered by LG 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just read through some of the answers in this topic. People who actually want to stay married even if it is a little work, are few and far between.
2007-03-01 11:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i beleive we have turned marriage into a fast food product. we find our mate and marry then when there is the first sign of trouble we drop this commitment like a used newspaper the vow is in good times and bad i dont remember ever hearing it go in good times and till you make me mad about the smallest thing in the world then i am out of here lol
2007-03-01 11:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by patbgone 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋