I am 25 weeks pregnant and terrified of the thought of labor and delivery. Any suggestions?

Question

I am so scared to think that I have to push a baby out of my body, not only of that but everything else that happens. Is my baby going to be healthy and okay, am I going to be okay? Can I handle it? Wow it is so scary how did any of you get through it and were any of you scared like I am? I am also scared of how much our lives are going to change (this is our first child)

Answer 1

It is terribly scary. I remember wanting to ask my doctor for a C-Section so I didn't have to go through the pushing and stuff! haha! But I ended up in labor for 15 hours, and by the time I decided I wanted the Epidural it was too late, so I had her au naturel :) It seemed horribly painful at the time but as soon as she came out and I got to hold her I knew it was all worth it, I'm sure it will be the same for you! Good luck

Answer 2

I'm scared of how much this is going to change our lives even with this pregnancy and it’s my second child. It is scary but its not that it’s having a baby that’s scary its change, change is scary. You have to change your lifestyles and that is a scary thought. But it will all work out and you'll adjust to your new lifestyle with your baby its just getting there that could be an obstacle. But eventually having a baby will be your lifestyle and it won’t be a big change anymore.

Labor can be scary especially all the horrors you hear from your mother in law or your mom how they were in labor for 48 hours when they had you or something, but its not like that anymore. I don’t know if you are opting out for the epidural or not but I had it with my first pregnancy and I had an easy labor. I went to sleep and when the nurse came in to check on me I was dilated to a 10 and it was time to push and I didn’t even know it. Then I only pushed for about maybe 20 mins so it was really easy (I hope it goes well this time). Anyway your body has been preparing for this for 40 weeks (or for however long until its time for the baby to come out) and it will all come naturally when it is time.

You should take a lamaze class I bet that would be really helpful for you it will give you an idea of what to expect and help prepare you maybe that will put you more at ease. The more you know the better.

As far as health you can never plan for things that go wrong you just prepare yourself as best as possible and hope for the best. Things can go wrong but don’t worry about it just like you wouldn’t worry about daily issues that "could" occur. When you get behind a car are you terrified that something could happen to you? Its the same concept don’t worry about the things that you cant control just prepare yourself for the best and be excited its hard and long road but I have to tell you its worth it.

It will all come naturally and maybe pick up some books and learn as much as you can knowledge can help put your mind at ease the more you know the more confident you will be about labor and delivery and your lives once the baby is here.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. I am 36 weeks prego with our first baby, and am scared of all the things you mentioned. All i can tell you is that at your stage in the pregnancy, i enjoyed being pregnant. I had a nice bump, and my husband and family gave me lots of attention, etc. I was also very comfortable, no nausea, cramping, etc. I did have some mild back pain, but i really couldn't complain. Now that I am 36 weeks, I am SO uncomfortable!!! I am huge!!! At least i feel like i'm huge......it's hard to move around, my clothes are no longer comfortable (I spend most of my time at home in a t-shirt and bathrobe!), i need tons of pillows to get comfortable in order to sleep for about 2 hours before i have to get up to pee. Then i have to arrange all the pillow again! I am starting to have some discomfort with the braxton-hicks, and my back hurts all the time. My feet are swollen, so my shoes don't fit well either. I don't want to alarm you, but i guess i'm just trying to tell you that my fear of pushing the baby out and going through labor is gone!!! At this point, i say BRING ON THE LABOR!! GET THIS KID OUTTA ME!!!! So, what i'm saying is, enjoy this stage of pregnancy b/c it is so nice and wonderful. You won't be so scared of labor once you get closer to it!!

As to the other things.....will i be a good mommy, will my baby be healthy, how will this change the relationship i have w/ my husband, I am still scared, and i don't have any answers! The only thing that comforts me in that department is that lots of people have done it and survived parenthood. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

These feelings are totally normal, especially with your first. Just try to relax as much as possible. As long as your health care provider isn't concerned and things are going well, you shouldn't worry too much. Most of the screening tests out there are able to detect serious problems early on.

As far as labor goes, it is different for every women. Take a childbirth education class (do this even if you want to have an epidural) so you can learn different birthing positions and breathing techniques. Also, bring something to keep your mind off of the labor and move around as much as possible. Moving around will keep the labor from progressing and staying as relaxed as possible will allow your body to do it's thing. Even though it hurts, it will be over soon enough and eventually the pain will only be a distant memory.

Your lives will change quite a bit once you have a baby. It will be difficult at times, especially during the first few weeks when your hormones are all over the map, you're sleep deprived, and now you have a child who depends on you for his/her every need. It is very overwhelming, but worth all of it. All the stress from the first few weeks melts away the first time your baby smiles, rolls over, starts to crawl or talk or walk.... Take lots of pictures in the early years because they do change so much day by day... it is truly amazing. And after the baby is a little bit older, ask Grandma to watch him/her for a few hours so you can relax and maybe even go out on a date with your husband. Try to make time for yourself every day, even if it's a quick 10 minute shower while your significant other deals with the baby. It will take a bit of adjusting, but it will all work out!

Answer 5

I have two little girls! My first child I wasn't scared at all I walked in the hospital like it was a regular day when I went in to have her but my second little girl! Yes, I was a lot more scared than with my first. I didn't want to go have her and I don't know why I felt that way because I had alread had one child! When I got into the hospital and they started getting me ready I was getting more and more nervous but when it was all over with I said why was I so scared? And if your worried about your life changing... a child is the best way to change it... You will have a totally different outlook on life when you get to hold that little baby in your arms! It's the best feeling in the world when you get to hold them for the first time!!! Good luck and I hope this helps!!! It's all worth the worry in the end.. You can handle it...

Answer 6

If I can do it, you can do it. I'm a sissy when it comes to pain, but remarkably I was very calm during my labour. I wasn't scared at all. You honestly have no thoughts going on in your head at this time...it's like your in your own little world.

I was in labour for 28 hours, but I did end up getting an epidural towards the end of it since I couldn't handle it anymore. That made a huge difference. I felt great after that. Don't be afraid to get one if the pain gets too much for you.

Believe me, the moment you hear your baby cry for the first time...and the moment you get to hold him/her for the first time, you don't even think about the hell you just went through. It is so worth it.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I agree with EVERYTHING amosunknown wrote (except for maybe the spinal morphine part). But then again, she has more experience than I do.

1) I have read that getting "induced" with Pitocin or "pit" and other induction drugs cause mind-bending painful contractions and that it increases your risk of c-section.

2) Many doctors want to break your water very early in labor, too. This also causes more pain and makes it more likely you will need an emergency c-section for fetal distress, etc.

3) C-sections are a lot more dangerous for you and the baby than vagainal delivery, and will cause pain for four to six weeks after, compared to pain for a day or two for a vaginal birth.

So don't let any doctors break your water until you are AT LEAST 7 or 8 cm dialated.

Answer 8

The first thing you should know is that what you're feeling is completely normal. Most pregnant women are bombarded with questions like these more than once through pregnancy. What's not beneficial for you or the baby is to dwell on the things you can't control. Focus on what you can.
REMEMBER this: Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. Our bodies were designed well for the process and most of us are a lot stronger and more resilient than we think.

Educating yourself on these issues can be helpful, but only to a point. If you overeducate yourself you might start worrying about tons of rare complications, diseases and problems you and the baby have almost a non-existent chance of experiencing. I suggest finding a few labor and delivery books that address specifically how your body functions through and deals with labor, studying the diagrams and reading the information until the subject no longer holds any mystery. This method of facing your fears head-on is an old psychological trick and really works. The less surprises that might come your way, the less you'll have to worry about. You can look at things more objectively (I.E. This is what I do if this happens; I should ask this question if this occurs).

Here are a few reassurances from my own birth experience. Because I educated myself a lot, when I was about to deliver I had the presence of mind to ask my doctor for a painkiller shot right before she gave me an episiotomy (incision in the perineum to allow the baby's head to come through more easily) and I remembered after my son's birth to ask about his APGAR score. You CAN control what painkillers you receive (unless you're forced to have a C-Section), your own movements, whether you hold in the pain or cry out, your attitude, etc., so these are things to focus on. I suggest determining ahead of time that you will NEVER utter the words, "I can't do this." You'll be doing it one way or another and negative thinking will only hurt your cause. Keep imagining snuggling your baby against your chest, watching them take their first steps, hearing them say "Mama" for the first time. That's what makes it all bearable.

A few more notes: Of course your lives will change. Here's another area you can educate yourself in so there are fewer surprises. If you breastfeed, expect to be occupied every 1-2 hours with feedings until around one month, when your baby may be able to go a couple hours longer during the night. At 3 months he or she will probably be able to sleep up to one 6 hour span at night without needing fed. Formula fed babies can usually go longer by an hour or so. In between, you'll be changing diapers, washing clothes, disinfecting stuff, bathing your baby, and showing him/her off to everyone you know and love. That's part of the fun. And you'll enjoy cooing and baby babble and a warm, wonderful smelling bundle sleeping against your chest. Recording first smiles and first time sitting up and rolling over, etc. The miracle of life is truly that. So yes, your lives will change. The help of a mother or sister or someone close to you will be enormously appreciated. So will the father's assistance. But once again, this a process thousands of years old.

You're not alone. You're joining an ancient club with billions of members. Welcome and Congratulations!

Below are some excellent links to other moms (by the way, I'm a mother of a 4 1/2 yr. old and 5 weeks prego with another), and some other resources you should find helpful.

Answer 9

First and most important is not to be scared. When I had my first I was 23 and my mom always told me, "if you enjoyed making this baby, you will enjoy having him". You can not get scared because it affects the birth. It makes it longer. I will not lie, yes it is painful. I did it natural with no drugs and my labor lasted 5 hours. I knew I just wanted him out of me, so the pain could stop. So do not worry about it and be good to the nurses, it's a big plus. Just keep in mind once the baby is out, the pain is over and you need him out. Relax! Good luck... Oh, by the way, I am on my third now and I already want her out of me...LOL...

Answer 10

I was so scared too. As the due date got closer I got more scared but it was all for nothing because thankfully I had a perfect normal delivery and in my opinion the actual delivery was pretty much painless - it was the contractions that I felt before getting my epidural that were pretty bad, so if you're gonna be getting an epidural, make sure you let the nurses know when the pains get to be too much too handle. After the epidural, I didn't even know when I was getting contractions and nurses had to let me know I was having them. Don't worry so much, just keep going to your prenatal appointments and I'm sure you and baby will be just fine.