Feel used, what should I do?

Question

My wife and I got married about 3 years ago. After 1 year she starts going on trips with her friends, about 10 trips of 2 weeks each. I tried to be patient. It drained us financially where I had to work crazy hours of overytime to keep us going but we still going into huge debt. So we were in huge debt and decided to move to another country, I had a good job offer, so we sold our house payed off the debt and had about 80k left over. So I moved overseas and she would come in a couple weeks. She then decided to go back with her friends on another trip which lasted 4 months while I didn't know what the hell was happening, she spent all that money, about 80k while just leading me on saying she would be with me next week, then that turned into next week. I found out she had an affair too. I don't know why I put up with it. Now she has left me convieniently when the money ran out. I see her for what she is now. Can I get any money back from her? She says if I try she will go for alimony.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about your situatation. Get a good lawyer so she doesnt take anything else that is rightfully yours. After the divorce is all said and done then see a civil lawyer and see what they tell you,.

Good luck

Answer 2

I doubt if you could get any money back from her. Money acquired during marriage is considered community property. Also since you did not make any objections all the while she spent your money most courts would see her spendidures were with your consent. Check out what the legal options for divorce are within your state. I know in California she could very well be entitled for Alimony for the rest of her life or until she marrys again. The only other advice I can give you is to really ask yourself how it is you have allowed her to use you this way? She sounds to be a very materialistic and selfish person. Good thing she left, I pity the next chump she runs into. Consider yourself lucky, some greedy people put out expensive life insurance on their spouses!

Answer 3

I cant say for sure but i dont think so,they would say it was marital property and she had a right t spend some,but call a attorney and ask they would know for sure.And as far as alimony when i got my divorce the requirements for alimony was that you either had a child born into the marriage and the mother was a stay at home mom,or you were married for 10+ years and the other party was the main provider and you had to prove hardship from the divorce and was granted alimony for 6 months to 1 year or until you remarried which ever came 1st.sorry that you were treated this way i hope it all works out for you goodluck

Answer 4

First of all and I am sure you realize this now, but you were Nuts to allow her access to all of that money. Another thing why in the H*** would you put up with her "running" around with her friends so much after you got married. The best thing to happen to you over all of this, is you are rid of her. Count your blessing for that, because she was certainly not a good woman or wife. I am afraid you can chalk that money off to a memory, because you will not be able to recoup any of it. I hope you have learned from this mistake. As for Alimony, you owe her nothing..Shes the one who left. Don't let her make useless threats, to imtimidate you. And don't let her back in your life. I think you can tell by now, you were simply being used!

Answer 5

Hell naw! Charge it to the game. Everythang understood dont need to be explained. Note: If my other half was going on"Trips" for 2-3 weeks at a time I would have put an end to that sh it quick! If she was not with me who was she with? Deep down she might have wanted you to say something. Women will test your manhood sometimes just to bring the man out of you and I am not talking physical either. My wife loves when i take charge. I love and trust my wife we also communicate.Its the key. But at the same time most women dont like a "WIMP" I still cant believe you didnt say anything! Damn!?!?!

Answer 6

I'm at a lost here...What took you so long to figure it out??? About the 2nd. 2 week trip, I would have been demanding answers. All you can do now is cut your losses and get on with your life. Remember this my friend, we tend to seek out the same types for our mates, even though we swear we won't. Maybe you should spend some time in a Monetary as a Monk.

Answer 7

Wow, she took all she could get and a little more. Im sorry that she took advantage of you. It gives all of us other girls a bad name. I wouldn't even try. I don't think you would be able to anyways. Best to cut all strings now and move ahead with a fresh new start. Leave all that baggage behind. There are good girls out there. Keep your head up.

Answer 8

Love is blind, sounds like she did not work so what is she going to pay you with? She will end up with alimony or maintenance as it is called now. You were the provider, she had no income, I know it is not fair and you sound like a nice guy, but your wife did her research prior.

Answer 9

You can't. My ex went through $135,000 and won't even pay child support for our children. I couldn't collect a penny of what was spent during the course of the marriage. Even when the judge ordered him to make the monthly payments on his vehicle...he refused, and I had to pay another $14,000 just to save my credit.

Answer 10

You need a clever lawyer and find as much documentation as possible proving her spending. Contact credit card companies, make sure you have as much proof of her philandering as possible. You may not get it "back" but a good lawyer and a good civil judge might deem her plenty taken care of and spare you alimony.