We are in a long standing relationship, and lately he has been acting very weird... Is there any other way that I can find out if he is going to accept a pass from another woman? I don't want to involve my friends and let them know that we are having troubles if I am just being overly suspicious... Please help me, I just need to be sure, and this is all I can think to do.
2007-03-01 02:35:36 · 18 answers · asked by Sandra S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There are agencies which set up conditions like this for you. The saying " what you don't know, can't hurt you " is crap , just because you don't know your being hurt doesn't mean you aren't, and you have the right too have the option of deciding how you want too deal with it. ie. Your partners having affairs, he is endangering your life or putting you at risk of STDs,HIV/AIDS, but just because you don't know your not being hurt, everything is cool. I DON'T THINK SO DUH !
2007-03-01 06:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by angelinturmoil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't hire someone to make a pass at your boyfriend.
I had a DIL that used to do this to my son, it was so stupid and funny!
She had no need to, but was overly insecure, she ended up loosing him, because she had vain imaginations.
JUST TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT~..it will be great to learn communication skills first before you marry anyway.
Here is an example of good communication:
YOU= " Honey, something has been bothering me, and I need to talk to you when you have time, just let me know when you have time."
HIM= I have time, what's on your mind?
YOU= You've been acting different lately, maybe it's just me, but somehow I think something is on your mind, and your not telling me....so, just want you to know, you can tell me, I promise I won't jump to conclusions, and I will hear you out!"
..
Now, if he talks, make sure you listen, the say back to him, " THIS IS WHAT I HEAR YOU SAY"
....
In order to make a marriage work, you first must learn communication skills.
There are so many good books about that ...read up, and learn to be open now to each other, and give the other much respect and kindness and love, no matter what.
If he is needing some space, and wants to end the relationship, be glad it for the both of you, and wish him the best.
:)
2007-03-01 10:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by tuna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't hire somebody to make a pass at your boyfriend. That's getting into Bunny Boiler territory...
You either try to talk to him in a calm rational manner without getting hysterical to find out what's going on; you take him on face value and wait to see how it all pans out or you accept you're never going to trust him, finish the relationship and concentrate more on improving your communicationship with your friends.
Personally, i think that if you're *that* suspicious of him that you're thinking of going to such extremes, the relationship is dead in the water. Don't worry about what your friends think. Big deal, you're having troubles. Everybody does.
2007-03-01 10:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's not really the way to go about it hun, for two reasons: ONE - even if he pushes this 'hired woman' away, that doesn't mean he's not a cheat becos if he is cheating on you wouldn't it be with someone he has connected with and knows really well? TWO - whatever the outcome is, i think you'll just be left feeling much worse.
I suggest you hold fire for a bit! next time you see him check his phone for suspicious messages. Is he more absent with you - that's a massive tell-tale sign that men are cheating on you.
If you are still unsure, just talk to him. honesty is good in a relationship, and so is good communication and letting each other know your feelings. even if he says he's not cheating - you'll know if he's lying by the way he answers!
2007-03-01 10:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't try to trick him, that will probably just blow up in your face, especially if he is just going through a tough time or something right now. If he finds out that you want to catch him rather than talk to him, that will be bad.
Just try talking to him and don't beat around the bush.
If you decide to do your own "investigation" of going through his stuff, and trying to trap him in something...don't be upset if you find something that you don't like, at that point, you can't use it against him...because he will be al to throw it at you...that you should have asked or whatever.
2007-03-01 10:44:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget it. No good can come of such a deception. You'd do better to try to get some honest communication going between the two of you, and figure out what's wrong. If you can't do that, then it's time to break it off anyway.
2007-03-01 10:40:01 · answer #6 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweaty you are waisting your time! If you dont trust him is time to let go. Really when there is no more trust in the relationship then there is not much left because if you were to marry him then you would never feel at peace because you are going to think he is out cheating on you.
2007-03-01 10:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by only me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds very dangerous to me friend, but I can understand your need to know.
Look in the personal ads in your local newspaper.....or maybe an escort agency.....but you would pay a lot of money for a few minutes work....maybe it's worth it to you.
Good luck. I hope you find out what you want to know.
2007-03-01 10:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u think he is messing around u can tell if ur sex life and style has changed in any way...but if u do desire to hire a woman make it a friend of a friend that he doesnt know and u have to make sure that he doenst know her ask if they are a friend they will do it for u...gl
2007-03-01 11:48:39 · answer #9 · answered by featherlover2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire a prostitute. I'm sure you can find one that's willing to do that for some cash. It's a lot better than what they normally do for money.
2007-03-01 10:40:04 · answer #10 · answered by Angry-T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋