To justify themselves and their actions? To make you feel guilty? WHY? I am a decent guy. I treat women with dignity and respect, only to get lied to....used and abused. I am SO sick of being lied to, and mistreated. What do I have to do to not be abused any more?.......NEVER talk to another woman as long as I live?
2007-03-01 02:33:32 · 19 answers · asked by coffee37man 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks to all of you....you have gievn some wonderful answers......and thanks for letting me vent!
2007-03-01 02:51:29 · update #1
they lie and cheat and blame u because it is easier to lay the blame on the one they hurt, so they can justify their own misdeeds, they just don't want to have to search deep inside their selves for the answers as to why they act like they do. u are picking the wrong girls, probably finding them in all of the wrong places, committing before u really know them, and sometimes when we are too nice and have too big a heart, we do attract people who use us and hurt us. never talking to another woman is not the answer, u will just end up lone;y. u are not picking trustworthy respectable girls. as sometimes the good girls aren't as exciting as the bad girls. but get to know them well before committing. this will indeed make u a bit more cautious about relationships in the future, maybe a bit more jaded. its all in the choice that determines the future. first we need to know that persons past, and how she treated others she was with, as that will tell u how u are going to get treated too. u give too much too soon, profess your love too soon, and get hurt too easily. just because one person doesn't want u its only;y their opinion, their reality. just stay good and kind, and seek the same in a mate. if u feel abuse get out of it right away, don't stay and take it anymore, speak up if someone is disrespecting u don't let them get by with it. grow some balls.
2007-03-01 03:01:14 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women say the same thing about men. It's about trust. When we meet someone new our normal response is to believe what they present. Time will tell if they are truthful. Your best bet is to provide a safe place for revealing the truth even if it may hurt one of you. If you make it clear that there are certain things you will not tolerate you turn your world into one totally black and white. It's those shades of gray that make for compromise in a relationship.
Suzie, your old girlfriend went on many business events without you and you discovered she often cheated on you. If you tell your next girlfriend you will not tolerate her going to any business functions you are not allowing her to NOT be Suzie. She may go to these events and lie because everything else in your relationship works and cheating is absolutely not going to happen with her being the cheater.
Unfortunately and fortunately...you have to put yourself out there and be subjected to another persons life choices. Don't set automatic rigid limits and let time and events reveal the other persons true character. Don't spend another moment of your life thinking all women are Suzie...even us gals know what Suzie is.
2007-03-01 03:08:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First the answer: because they don't want to deal with the guilt that comes with being responsible for their own actions... whcih brings me to the advice part of this response.
Advice: It's not enough to be decent and treat people with respect. You have to respect yourself and expect others to treat you well too, and you need to not ignore the little red flags that pop up when folks aren't treating you well, and you have to be confident and prepared to cut them loose and go find somebody who will treat you well, or you will spend far too much time in relationships that are bad for you and keep repeating the process until... you get sick of it and wake up finally.
2007-03-01 03:53:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They make u feel guilty because they know they are butt holes and if they shift the blame to u it gets them off the hook. it's not all women who act like that, but you will have some dumb drama queens and those who don't know what they got til it's gone, feel lucky you went thru this, now get off your butt and find a real woman and stop looking for the same old girl. THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD WOMEAN OUT THERE. JUST STOP GETTING MIXED UP WITH THE WRONG LADY, try going to different place where you normally don't go and widen your horizon, don't look for just one type of lady.
2007-03-01 02:45:15 · answer #4 · answered by sonya h 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What exactly makes you think that it is only women who behave in this way?????
Believe me, I could tell you stories from way back when. But it's boring. Accept the fact that some people have no morals and are second class human beings. Their gender isn't important. Don't let some dishonest person steal happiness from your life. Hopefully you will meet a decent, loving, honest woman. They do exist!
2007-03-01 02:39:59 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! for a guy to be saying this is ironic in my situation. But one thing that I am learning, in dealing with a lying cheating soon to be ex is that you have to STOP thinking all women are like that! Start envisioning your perfect mate, as respectful, honest, not playing games, yet fun, etc...
Then believe it or not you will attract that kind of women into your life!
So, lose the attitude about not talking to women, just train yourself to know that you will have the women that you dream about, STOP thinking about the women you don't want, only think about the one you want!!!!
Don't settle...
2007-03-01 02:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by SilentMoon 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I hate to say I am a woman...but people cheat and lie for different reasons and situations in their lives. My husband is a decent man and treats me well but there has been times when I have had it and he has done things to make me do things in exchange...so its not really anyones fault just circumstances and one's will. It doesnt seem like your doing anything wrong just be more cautious...I guess
2007-03-01 02:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's always easier for some who cheat, to blame the other person for their actions, then it takes the guilt off their shoulders. Shame on them!!!! I can truly understand how you are feeling but just keep in mind that not all women are cheaters & liars. Don't change who you are & one of these days, you will find the right one for you, who will be worthy of your love, trust, & respect.
2007-03-01 02:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are insecure!!!!!!!!! It's not you , don't think for one moment that you are doing anything wrong! You are some womens dream come true. You were raised right. Keep being you and a terrific women will come your way and treat you the way you were meant to be treated. Just because you haven't found her yet, doesn't mean she isn't there.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU GENTLEMEN
2007-03-01 04:14:56 · answer #9 · answered by momma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They can't own up to the fact that it was their fault. It's probably a personality flaw.
Nah, don't give up on women. Maybe you're just attracted to ones who are not decent and honest. Maybe change where you are meeting people or change who you ask out.
2007-03-01 02:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by pittsburgh-girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋