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I want to marry my girlfriend but her parent's won't let me marry her. We are both 24+. Her parents say I cheated on her like a couple of times on her and also said that I have bad events in the relationship in the past. I love my girlfriend so much. My girlfriend wants to get married with me also. How do I explain to her parents?

2007-03-01 01:46:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

10 answers

Why not ask them what it takes to win their approval.

It seems they cite some valid reasons. Instead of trying to prove them wrong, ask what it take for you to prove that you are right for their daughter.

Instead of trying to explain, ask, listen and accept what they have to say.

You come off here as trying to prove them wrong. That probably will not get you very far with them.

Practice the following phrases:

1. I can see why you believe that.
2. I never considered it from that perspective, thank you for sharing.
3. I appreciate your views.

and other, similar sayings. And of course, really do these things. They probably see things about you that you don't or won't see. Either you cannot, because you live in your self and cannot see how others perceive you. Or you refuse to accept that you are not exactly how you think you are.

I suspect, but can't say for sure, that you will get much further if you approach this from listening, valuing and then addressing in yourself what they point out regarding you and your fitness to marry their daughter.

2007-03-01 01:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0 0

Oddly enough you have not denied cheating or the "bad events"

I would guess that they have good reasons to oppose this marriage. They are not idiots, the have been around the block a few times, they have wisdom, experience and maturity on their side. And on top of that if what they believe ultimately comes to fruition, and this marriage collapses, it will be they that have to pick up the pieces.

So what was your argument again?

Listen to what they have to say, whether it is what you want to hear or not, you just might learn something.

And lastly...

If your daughter came to you wanting to marry someone like you, given what you know about you and your past, would you think it was a good idea?

2007-03-01 02:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by David P 3 · 0 0

You say you are both of legal age. It would seem the time for talking with her family has happened and is in the past.
Plan your wedding, pay for everything yourselves, send her parents an invitation when you send the others out and be there on time for the ceremony.
I think you are being held back by maybe fear and too much parental respect. Marriage is a leap of faith for the bride and the groom...JUMP IN...always show a united front...prove them wrong!

2007-03-01 02:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She needs to cut the umbilical cord and you guys need to get engaged. I can see the hold up if you did cheat on her, if you haven't dated long enough, and so on. Try to talk to them and get to know you better. If they decide not to come to the ceremony, it's their loss, and it's something they'll regret. I suggest talking to them, and maybe a long engagement. You two are your own people yes, but you do end up marrying the family as well. If they still deny you, just marry her, and hopefully you'll be getting an apology in the future.

2007-03-01 02:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0 0

You have options since you are both adults by age. Either you can break ties with her family and go get married without them OR I recommend you wait them out and in time they will warm up to you. Family is first.....if you were to get married and her parents hated you forever imagine the stress that would cause you too......not worth it dude. Either you get along with her family or you go find a girl who has a cooler set of rents!

2007-03-01 01:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

OK first thing are you marring her parents or her?

And if she loves you and you love her, why you dont get married her parent would understand later dont you think..

So give it a try and see what happens, sometimes parents are scare to let their kids go..

2007-03-01 01:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by Sunrise 2 · 1 0

If you're 24+ then just do it! As long as you love each other and have what it takes to make a marriage work - just do it! You don't need permission anymore

2007-03-01 01:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

if u both love each other u both old enough u dont have to explain it to her parents just give them ur words that u will try ur best and give all if u can to thier daughter.. and stand for ur own feet and do what to say. someday they will give thier blessings to both of u..

2007-03-01 01:52:50 · answer #8 · answered by lene 3 · 0 0

Tell her parents that your gonna marry her anyways, but you would rather have their blessing because you respect them.

2007-03-01 04:22:28 · answer #9 · answered by carlos b 2 · 0 0

if they gonna take care of both of you than dont.....but if you will take care of her than go for it

2007-03-01 01:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by LIBERIAN MAN 2 · 0 0

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