What are some long-term effects of being an outcast when younger?

Question

I am curious about what happens to most people whom were outcasts/pariahs amongst their peers when they were younger. You know the type..the one who eats alone in the cafeteria, last picked for teams in gym class, snubbed, mocked, and (in middle school and/or high school)had trouble getting dates. Did most of these outcasts also feel outcasted/belittled by their family?(not necessarily an abusive or neglecting family situation...perhaps the kid was made fun of by younger siblings or something like that) Do most of these outcasts later blend in with society, or do they stay outcasts? Are they more prone to get into trouble(legal, drugs, etc) later in life, or less? Do they generally turn out more succesful($ and career-wise) than their peers, or less? Also, what effects does being an outcast have on their social skills & personas later on in life

It'd be especially helpful if former childhood/adolescent outcasts, or people in the psychology field, would contribute an answer to this

The answers so far are pretty good!

But FURTHERMORE--Do you think that outcasts(I'm not talking just "nerds" who were outcasts w/ stellar grades; I'm talking plain ol pariahs who perhaps were outcasted AND were not top of the class), for the most part, turn out BETTER or WORSE than the average person?

For example, I've heard my mom's story about an outcast she went to school with. He was nerdy and scrawny, but has become a huge turn-around success by becomming an anchor for a Phila. channel's evening news.

Then again, I have a friend who was a shy outcast, and as a result, he didn't have the charisma to land jobs after college, so he was stuck working at a supermarket after graduating from college, living at home, and remaining a bitter virgin-by-default until 26+.

So what do you think?..do most turn out better or worse(career/money wise) than most?

Answer 1

Not everyone reacts the same to this. Unfortunately, it can cause a loss of self-esteem, if the individual feels that it's happening for a legitimate reason..."they are right, there is something bad or wrong with me." Low self-esteem can lead to problems in relationships, failure to pursue opportunities in life, lying to self and others, and other bad consequences. My younger brother was victimized this way, with all the bad results. Became a social deviant, addicted to drugs, murdered in Miami.

Others react defiantly, saying to themselves, "I'll prove them wrong...success will be my revenge." Also, being on the outside can set up independence and autonomy, both vital for a strong psyche. It can be fulfilling and useful to have an outsider's point of view...we all know there is so much BS in the world, the outsider may have the most accurate view of things...best positioned to solve problems. I knew a guy who was bullied as a child and it caused him to strive, he was always #1 in his class.

Answer 2

Well, I guess that I was what you might call an outcast. Once I got old enough to date, I ended up telling it like it was to a guy that was a user idiot. I was defiant as hell, and my whole family loved my tell it like it is attitude. I am the one that everyone turns to for advice and a laugh. Get great respect from my family and others, cause I take no crap from anyone! You could do much worse than to be like that! (I'd say that I turned out more successful than most in my family).

Answer 3

it can turn them into introverts with low self esteem which effects their confidence levels ,many times this can be a lifetime mindset, althuogh there are those who once out of school and on to college will move beyond their feelings of inadequacy and through anew set of life experiences ,aquire a positive attitude and be very succesfull in life, it is a very individual process,many also look back on it for what it is ...petty ,youthful behavior...which has no bearing on the person they really are, the ned to belong when young is very great...the courage to stand alone and not let it bother you if you don't belong is even greater.

Answer 4

I wasn't like that but I wasn't TOO popular at school either. I know people who were like this....and they grew up to have a timid personality....... they also matured very quickly and could relate easily to other people with problems..... but find it hard to trust another person and just be their selves... they have low confidence and social skills and dont believe in them selves.....a nice compliment would mean the world to them but a horrible one could be so crushing and take them back to their school days....

but ofcourse some of them have the drive to overcome problems....and strive for power and then often have jobs in management....ive seen loads....but you can tell they were bullied because they still seem nerdy......my boss is like that

Answer 5

i sit on the internet all day asking peoples questions, pretending to be tougher than i am and making myself feel bigger and more important. I am afraid to go outside, and change my user ids every few weeks when people start making fun of my in addaquacies which show through even through my typing.

i am glad i could get this off my chest.

Answer 6

My sister is your typical example. She is drop dead gorgeous, but because of all the bullying she experienced when she was younger, she has very low self esteem.

Answer 7

Look in the mirror.