When someone tries to make you mad by antagonizing you with something they know you feel strongly about, what is your response to them? What do you feel 'shuts them down'?
2007-02-28 23:55:47 · 5 answers · asked by thelastwardcleaver 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Telling them they are absolutely right. It is hard to argue with yourself without looking like a doofus.
2007-02-28 23:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dealt with a few in my day. The most effective response that literally stopped it, was to 1) figure out their motive--or is it their personality 2) state that perceived motive in a paradox--such as, "When you say that, I feel like you are trying to be better than I am (or whatever the case), but I KNOW you'd never do something like that!! You're much smarter than trying to use sarcasm!" E.g., in my job of 10 yrs, I suddenly started to get a LOT of static re my work--even tho' my evaluations had always been positive. I noticed that a good number of older employees were quitting. I loved my job and did not want to move on, even with the pressure I was experiencing. It finally dawned on me that putting extreme pressure on older employees till they quit--enabed them to hire staff on the bottom wage level, and saved them a lot of money. SO, at my regular meeting, I said in a very calm friendly manner, "You know, if I didn't know better, it feels like a time-honored system they used in education to get rid of older, more expensive employees. I know that we can increase the costs--but this is a mental health organization and you'd NEVER use the tools and techniques AGAINST anyone just to make it so unpleasant for them that they quit." When you state the truth and at the same time deny that they'd ever do something like that--you know you hit "home" when they start getting mad!!! "Of COURSE, we wouldn't...DON'T!" That was the last I ever heard of any of that, and later, a woman who had been on the board told me, "You're a tough nut to crack, Marge!" ") I worked on for another 5 yrs then moved on to a better job.--------Your example, might be..."You know, if I didn't KNOW BETTER, I'd think you were trying to make me mad! But I know you'd never do a thing like that--you're smarter than that!" or words to that effect. Look behind the surface to possible motives....Don't respond with affect!! That's usually what they are after--fear, anger,--anything to control you.
2007-03-01 03:27:31 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be passive - treat your "antogonizers" as if they don't exist. Ignoring them will make them mad at first but they will eventually get tired of antagonizing you.
2007-03-01 00:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by Leih 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I normally agree to disagree. At the end of the day they are entitled to their opinion, and I have mine. So long as we respect each others, then there shouldn't be a problem. If you can be the bigger person and accept their opinion, then good on you. You don't have to agree with it though, and they don't have to agree with yours. That's the point of debate.
2007-03-01 00:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by Pseudonym45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by exploring other points of views and becoming tolerant of the things which you find most vulgar. that way youre one step ahead of the game and therell be no surprises.
2007-03-01 00:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by wcarolinew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋