I'm getting irritated with this man?...what do you think?

Question

I went out with this man twice, we never even kissed. I thought maybe something could happen because he was so supportive. I was never physically attracted..that was alot of my problem. But after two dates I thought why lead him on? I think that is wrong.So I just kinda just didn't return (any) of his calls, e-mails, text messages.So I got like 48 messages in 5 or 6 days..keep in mind I haven't returned ANY messages. He and I are both middle aged adults...and he still keeps calling after 2 weeks.*not as much*But I am getting really mad that he can't stop bothering me. I never told him I loved him...but when will this man get a clue..you would think we had dated steadily for 2-3 months, we knew each other like 4 weeks. I am afraid to reply back to him in any way because I am afraid this will encourage him. Will he finally give up ?.and I just remember I did reply once to him and told him to stop pushing me and let it go and he continued to e-mail,call me even after he said he would'nt.

Answer 1

should have been upfront and said you weren't attracted to him. he is crazy though.

Answer 2

Oh my God.... that is really crazy!!!

I really have no idea what to say, except that I completely agree with you about not replying back to him. You already told him clearly to let go. If you respond after 48 messages, he will only think, "Well, all I have to do is send 48 messages and she will respond. So there's still hope!"

I've heard of stories like this before. In most cases, the guy usually gives up, eventually. It takes longer if there was a strong emotional connection/sharing (like a Relationship), or if the guy THINKS there was - as in this case.

You might just have to wait it out, and see what happens in the coming weeks. You said it's been 2 weeks, and you knew each other for 4 weeks.... If he fell madly in love with you at first sight, and thought you were finally The One True Love in the darkness of his Middle-Ages, then 4 weeks of that Dream Alive in his Head is a Long Time. So for this guy, 2 weeks after it ended is not necessarily a long time. It's going to take some time for that "Dream" of You to die in his head. It could stop in the next few days, or it could take a month or more, to tell you the truth. A good sign you said is, he's calling "not as much". So, you might have to wait this out. Eventually he'll realize he's not getting a response, and there's no hope, and he might accidentally bump into somebody else (I feel sorry for her already).

As long as the messages and actions aren't getting violent (stalking is a violent action), if they're more the kind of messages that express sadness, persistence, hope, or questioning why you don't like him/respond, you should be OK. Actually, although I know you don't want to spend any time doing this, but perhaps you should read & study the messages to see their underlying tone & pattern. Don't just delete them right away. Think of it as a look into the male psyche (or its breakdown), and what to avoid in the future. If the messages start getting violent, you'll know what to do. If they're just "breaking down" emotionally, that's actually OK.

Again, I'm really really sorry to hear that you have to go through this : ( But I do think that it'll be over, eventually --- Take care -

Answer 3

Continue to ignore his calls, emails and such. Eventually he will give up. If it continues on for weeks or more, you may think about getting a restraining order against him. That will get the message across.

Answer 4

Sounds like he's obsessed with your company.....BE careful cause it's idiot's like this that end up hurting somebody (you). Change your phone number quickly--change your e-mail address now.

Middle-aged....hmmmm Must be someone divorced as well. Already hurt once and don't want it to happen again I assume.

Answer 5

Police?

Answer 6

S-T-A-L-K-E-R!!! I think you are right not to respond at all. You really should change your phone # and email address. If this continues much longer you should really think about involving the police! BE CAREFUL!!!