what is your idea?

Question

Hi
I am an English student who is supposed to write a story about pole.
Here is my story, tell me your idea!

"With fingers numbed of the cold I was trying hard to break the ice in order to catch at least one fish to cure the incredible pain of not eating any thing for two days.
It all started a week ago when I and my friends Amy and Anne saw a man travelling to pole alone, so we taught we could do the same. At first everything was OK, we planed a three week holiday in pole but because we were really excited, we made a Last minute decision without thinking about the problems that were waiting for us.
After a week walking in the freezing weather Anne became terribly ill so we decided not to continue but all of a sudden a terrible snow started and we lost our way. Just then we heard voices, scared to death and covered in sweat from top to toe, we were standing, looking at the huge body of a bear which started following us and caught my two friends. I just kept running until I was far enough so I left everything (food, clothes…) there. But suddenly my alarm clock went off and made me thank God that it was all a dream. "

What level do you think I am?

Answer 1

I like it. I've got some corrections for you, though.

"...to cure the incredible pain of not eating anything for two days." (Anything is one word)

"...when my friends, Amy and Anne, and I..." (I comes after "my friends")

"so we thought we could do the same." (Thought, not taught)

"we planned a three week holiday" (planned, not planed)

"made a last minute" (last is not capitalized)

"...in the freezing weather, Anne became terribly ill, so we decided not to continue. All of a sudden, a terrible snow started and we lost our way." (comma after weather, before so, a period after continue, starting a new sentence with all.)

"Just then we thought we heard voices. Scared to death and covered in sweat from top to toe, we were standing..." (period after heard voices, starting a new sentence with scared. Insert the words "thought we" before 'heard voices,' because you say it's a bear and not people. Thus, it wasn't really "voices" that were heard).

"But suddenly my alarm clock went off and made me thank God that it was all a dream" has got to be the most cliche endings in the universe. Surprise your English teacher with something more dramatic to score extra points--"And I abandoned all that I had into the blustery unknown, without food, drink, compass or map, to brave the barren ice alone."

Answer 2

its ok, uve got some grammatical mistakes tho..