School/friendship problems...what should I do?

Question

These days the "popular" kids at my school have been giving me a hard time. They glare at me from the corners of their eyes, whisper things about me behind my back, etc... I'm not sure what the exact reason is for them being this way to me.. maybe because of my nervous, blushing personality? Because I'm not outgoing? I'm not sure, but I have to face them everyday in school. Usually I try to ignore them and focus on being with my friends, but at times they break me down and I always strive for the days when I don't have to face up to their glares and whispers. A social event is coming up, and my best friend told me that our circle of friends were all going to go. I told her that I didn't want to go to a dance where they could glare and make fun of me. She called me "emo" and told me to focus on my friends and that they'd be way too busy at the dance to focus on me (which I don't think is true). I told her that I was sorry but that I'd have to think about it before

deciding whether to go or not. She called me emo again, and then talked about how inspired she was by people who didn't care about what other people thought about them. Then I blew up at her (in caps-lock messages) , saying that I tried her suggestions of ignoring them and being with friends at school but sometimes they got me to the point of breaking down. I backtracked and apologized again for being cynical and said that I just needed some time to think about going... but she didn't reply to that text message. I feel really, really guilty for shouting at her in caps-lock, but what I said is true.. the kids really make me feel like crap sometimes, and I did try to ignore them but sometimes they get to my breaking point... What should I do? What if she's mad at me for shouting at her and won't listen to what I have to say? How do I deal with what's going on in school?

I respect her for trying to help me out, but I just want her to understand that at times it's really difficult for me to deal with those kids..

Answer 1

You can not let people get to you like that...Hold your head up proud and just smile at them...I have never cared about what others think, nor am i friends with people who are stupid and need a group to prove their worth...

Answer 2

First of all, school bullies are such pieces of crap. When my best friend and I were in high school, she was picked on every day for probably 2 years. I used tell her all the time "stand up to a bully once and they will usually leave alone". Well, one day after class, her bully came up behind us and shoved her in the back. She lost her balance and fell to the floor. Her bully was standing there laughing. My friend got up and gathered her stuff from the floor. Her bully followed us for maybe 3 or 4 feet, then went to push my friend again.Then, out of nowhere, my friend turned around and stuck out her fist. Because the bully was getting ready to bumrush my friend, she ended up getting hit smack in the nose. She stopped immediately in her tracks. Her "friends" who had stood by her and her mean behavior did nothing to help her. They were too afraid of how MY friend was going to react. They both were suspended but my friend was not bullied again. The word spread quickly that my friend was not the one to bully. Now, I DO NOT recommend afflicting violence on someone out of the blue for no reason. Having said that, I DO STRONGLY recommend that everyone defend themselves. Anyone and everyone that attends public schools has a right to come to school and be safe while doing it. The rules at my daughter's school is: if you are in a fight (the bully and the bullied) you will be suspended. Even if you were defending yourself. It makes it hard for those kids who want to defend themselves, who need to defend themselves, to do it. Sometimes you have to call your bully's bluff and see what happens. Most of the time bullies are that way because they are allowed to be. I won't say that your bully will stop being a bully- but they might just leave you alone if you stand your ground and refuse to be bullied by them anymore. On a side note: get better friends!! You need pressure-free friends! Friends who will encourage you and NOT call you names to make you feel worse.
I hope that you can resolve this without having to put your foot down too hard on your bully.
FYI: we haven't seen the bully since high school but my best friend and I have remained best friends for the last 17 years. True friends are hard to find- but last a lifetime once you do!!
Good luck and God bless!

Answer 3

Have you thought about confronting these people and asking them what their problem is. It might be easier confrontinf just one instead of all of them.
If they see you getting flustered by their behaviour they will keep doing it. The rules of the wild are the weak get killed, in the school ground the weak get picked on so if they can see your weakness they will keep picking on you. Don't show them any fear and they will stop.
Or another plan is to just bash them. (only joking)

Answer 4

in a few weeks it wont matter so dont worry. It is all part of growing up. so be good drink all you're milk and you will grow up big and strong