we both were not prepared for it it just happened accidently. Now we both are planning to get married next year. He told about our marriage thought to his parents. they r just not happy with this relation bcoz we both are from differnt cast and ofcourse they are very narrow minded abt this. But he is saying he will convince them with time. Hes working hard for our better future. we both are very well settled in our professional lifes. Hes always busy nowadays wth his family and work. I feel hes just giving me excuses for not being there with me. we hardly talk in a day. I feel like left alone. the abotion has affected me mentaly as well as physically, But I m not getting that care, sympathy or love from him which i m supposed to get. he never discussed that topic again after the abortion he just wants me to forget it. but i m still not able to come out of this bcoz of this lonelyness, and i dont feel hes trying to understand me and i dont have any other opening to relax.plz suggest me
2007-02-28 19:53:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I know your situation is difficult but try to talk with your boyfriend and try to understand him so as he too would understand you...Its just a matter of understanding each other..and confront of all the feelings you have felt during those days..let him understand, and it seems that your boyfriend is working hard for the benefit of your future and try dont discourage him..
2007-02-28 20:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you fell I had an abortion 3 yrs ago, I was having a boy and I still think about him all the time. The Father and I decide not to keep the baby because neither of us was ready for that kind of responsibility and I had a 2 yr old already. You have to look that this and count your blessings, you could have kept the baby and he refused to help you take of the baby. It happened to me, but I was blessed enough to find someone to love me and my children. I feel, and this is just my opinion by no means am I tell you what to do, but I think you should let it go and more on with your life. You can't look to other people for comfort all the time, you have to look to God and yourself, or family if you have someone you can talk to. It's going to be hard to move past it but you can and it will make you a stronger and wiser person in the end. Live your life, forgive and move on. All things will work themselves out in their own and proper time. Trust me.
2007-02-28 20:07:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I strongly agree with the first answer on her, that you too need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk, about it all. I think right now your both having a problem with aborting the child, and you may need to go and see someone that can help you get through the hard decussion you made. Maybe he needs to do that too.
As for his parents they have no say on who he can marry, and who he can not marry, that is your two choose. You may ask him in a nice way , now come he has not been coming over, or calling, or giving you the support that you dearly need right now, casue that is what you need. Neither of you will proably ever forget about the abortion, but you both agreed on it, so he should be taking this like the man he is suppose to be. He has his own life to live now, and you are a part of that and he needs to remember that , and be there for you, and you for him.
2007-02-28 20:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ladyofathousandfaces 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is the appropriate place for the abortion debate guys. This is a woman reaching out for support, not asking for your approval.
Listen dear. I think you need counseling. I don't think either of you are really equipt to deal with all of this emotion on your own. You're at odds with his parents and the caste system, you're both trying to make your futures, and now you've had to deal with an unwanted pregnancy and resulting abortion.
If he's fighting for you, it's obvious that he loves you!
Maybe his distance from the situation is -his- way of coping. I'm sure he's under a great deal of stress himself.
I suggest you find solace in someone else, such as a therapist who can give you the coping tools your boyfriend can't because he is trying to deal with all of this too.
Then after you've dealt with some of this you can try to focus back on being with him not at odds with him.
2007-02-28 20:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by Iridescent Leuko 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing happens by accident but what's done is done. Of course you are having difficulty. Tell him that he needs to sit down and talk with you so you can tell him how you feel. If he can't be supportive, you might want to think long and hard about your relationship.
In the meantime get some help for yourself and check out this website, seems to be what you need, they are available it 24/7 and you can call from anywhere.
http://www.pregnancycareofcincinnati.com/PACE.html
Good luck to you.
2007-02-28 20:12:01 · answer #5 · answered by curious ma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it would seem that this relationship was doomed from the get go.
you have been used and now you are being discarded. your first clue should have been the willingness to end something as sacred and wonderful as a new life between you. now you are dealing with the fall-out, so-to-speak.
if this is too much for you to deal with by yourself then you'd better find somebody to confide in, either personal or professional.
2007-02-28 20:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to try and also have consideration for how your boyfriend feels... maybe he is also having trouble dealing with this and the only way he knows how to deal with it is work harder and put it to the back of his mind.
Maybe your boyfriend will not marry you due to it upsetting his family - you may have to accept this.
May i suggest that you use contraception in future, pregnancy does not 'accidently' happen! It happened because you had unprotected sex! As someone who is having fertility treatment at the moment and unable to concieve, abortion narks me a little.
If you dont want to 'accidentally' murder a baby dont 'accidentally' get pregnant!
2007-02-28 20:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
u should sit don withur bf and have a straight forward talk of ur feelings and next time use protection
2007-03-01 00:14:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't listen to that impossibl... girl above. you do not need anymore pain in your life. you've been through enough already.
you need to have good friends and family around you to support you. turn to friends and learn not to depend on your boyfriend. your relationship will grow from this. you should also be able to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him your feelings. just be upfront and honest with him and tell him what YOU need from him.
goodluck
2007-02-28 20:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by Alexa K 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
you need to talk with him and tell him how you feel. if he is not willing to accomodate and make changes to make the relationship work... then.. find someone who will.
and until you are sure you want to have a child. YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOURSELF if you dont want something to happen. if ur old enough to screw you are old enough to know the risk of what could happen
2007-02-28 20:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Kynnie 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋