Uni problems, really desperate, any ideas??????? . top points for best answer!!!!!!?

Question

I have been really down for quite a long time and this is really affecting my work at uni. I feel so alone and spaced out, I have distanced myself from family and friends, they don’t understand. I have been having some dark thoughts and I can’t seem dig myself out of this hole. I am trying to sort myself out, but it is taking too long.

Last semester i messed up and failed 3/5 of my courses, fortunately i can retake. You can only fail two credits in the whole year.

So this semester I promised myself, I would try to go to all my lessons. But I have failed to do this as I keep on putting off going to class. I don't know what's wrong with me, every time I think about going I feel nauseated , I get have a stomach upset, once I threw up, I don't know why feel this way.

Today I found out that in one of the classes (I have never been to), an assessment due in. There's no way can I complete it as I have no ideas what it is about.

I need to talk to my lecturer, but I’m cacking myself how am I suppose to tell her that not only haven't I done the assessment , but I have never been to one of her lectures.

My reasons for this will be even harder to explain.

I don’t want to tell her that I have been feeling really down, she won’t understand, no one really understands. Also I think that’s she has probably heard it all before.

I don’t want an extension, I just feel that by talking to her and making her aware of my predicament, I wont be sooo scared to attend class. What do I do now??? I want to talk to her but I am sooo scared. I was thinking of emailing her, but I have no clue where to start??

What would you do in my situation??

Answer 1

Hi there,
I do understand to some degree how you've been feeling as I have the same problem linked to uni, work and some social situations. I get very anxious about them, suffer with upset stomachs and feel nauseas, so you're not alone in this situation. I don't know what causes my problems, I think much of it is probably low self esteem and confidence and the idea I might fail - but you know what? So what if I do fail! That's one thing I've managed to put into perspective - it really doesn't matter. Many people fail things, it's not the end of the world and you can always resit or go back later in life if you want to.

While your family and friends may not understand, you shouldn't be distancing yourself from them, they may be able to offer some kind of support - I would have been lost without mine.

I have been to my GP and he has put me on some medication. It may be worth while you seeing yours and explaining your situation. There are pills out there which can be used for anxiety disorders and you may find they help you, they are helping me. I have also had a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy which were good, they get you to talk about things and focus on feelings of confidence etc and could be something you could look into. That's up to you.

However, I wouldn't be putting off going to uni. Yes I felt anxious, I had to take some time off occasionally because I got in such a state, but letting it affect your work so much is only going to make you feel worse about going. You need to speak to your lecturers. Explain what's going on. Maybe your Dr. if you see them can give you a note to explain some of your absence. You may need to repeat part of your course if you've missed so much - but it's important you let them know why you've not been there and show that you're doing something about it - they're only human and there to help you as long as your prepared to do something about it.

If you don't like the course and don't really want to be there, then maybe this is your 'get out clause' and you should take it, sort yourself out and do something you really want. Whatever it is that you want, that is something you need to decide and go for! So i've had and still have occasional problems, but it's up to you to get the help to sort them out so it doesn't affect your life. It's not something you can just 'get over', it doesn't work like that, it will take time, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you as I know lots of people who go through similar phases - but don't go putting your life on hold in the mean time. Experiencing these things will all add up to boosting your confidence in the long run, so long as you face them.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

Answer 2

There is more to life than degrees - when your there at uni you think its the only thing in the world, once you leave - its just another piece of paper and it dosnt mean that much in less you are going for a specific job like lawyer or doctor

If you have messed up that much you might as well cut your losses and leave it and say it wasnt meant to be - Perhaps your strengths lie else where out side academic study, dosnt mean you cant achieve in life

On the other hand you could speak to your tutor and ask them advise etc and talk to them about the issues that are affecting you and if they thing its possible that you can catch up,

The whole idea of uni is managing your life and hard work, this isnt for everyone, no matter how hard they try,
Do whats best for you and not for other people. But remember there is so much more to life than uni - once you leave, its just another piece of paper - so life will go on if you left

whatever you do talking about your problems and letting people know the situation is the best thing you can do so talk to your tutors

Your tutors are adults- they are older than you - they have been to uni - they have been teaching at uni for years - they have seen it all - you are not the first student that has had these problems and you wont be the last and they expect it - so you have nothing to be frightend of - they have seen it been it done it and they are aware that life isnt perfect so you have nothing to worry about - TALK TO THEM as the longer this goes on the worse you will feel - you feel down because you havent resolved it!! - SO TALK TO THEM

Answer 3

Just go and blurt it out that you are confused and a bit lost with the lesson. Better do it now before it gets too late.

When I was at college, I had this lesson which baffled me and I got stressed over it. Eventually confronted the tutor and she reassured me not to worry and she'd offer me support. I was surprised when i found that I was not the only student in the class confused with the subject.... so I was not alone!

Some of us had extra lessons and extended mock exam which helped and we all did well. Phew!

Sometimes just not saying anything just makes it even worse and you'll end up stressing out more than necessary.

I am sure you will find other students in the same position as you are, afraid to confess to the teacher that they have a problem with understanding or following that certain topic or subject.

The teacher is there to teach and help us not to just talk and expect us to understand every word.

E-mail her... then talk to her face to face.

Just e-mail her.....
'Today I found out that in one of the classes (I have never been to), an assessment due in. There's no way can I complete it as I have no ideas what it is about. Please help?'

Your feeling sick, stressed out and all that because you are worrying yourself sick! I have had that myself but when I came clean with the tutor, I felt a whole lot better. Relieved too and the tutor was understanding.

Its their job to guide us, teach us and they'd be feel they have let us down if we didn't tell them that we were having problems. Tutors want to help us do our best at the end of the day.

Answer 4

I suggest you visit a job centre and find yourself a job. I'm sorry but I don't have much sympathy. I went through university myself, now I help people qualify for university and also help students who are at university. Education is wasted on someone who doesn't complete assignments or attend lectures. Like your family and friends, I don't understand either. Now it maybe that you need professional help, in which case start by seeing your doctor. Either get a grip or seek help. It seems that university may not be for you.

And just to add, you can go back to education later in life. Dropping out now would not be the end of the world.

Answer 5

Your not alone im sure other people have had this problem.
Do you know why you feel ill, for example your scared of failure, you feel uneasy in other people company, etc.
You should talk to someone it will help. I never went to uni but I understand from my friends that its very stressful. Stress effects people in different ways. Have you gone to a doctor as they might be able to help you or give you something to help you relax.
A few tips to help you relax are a nice long bath, lavendar is relaxing and a good nights sleep.
Sorry I couldnt be more help.
Oh also you should really try to talk to your lecturer/teacher there is no point worrying they might react badly when you dont even know they will. People can surprise you.
Good luck

Answer 6

In your situation I would make an immediate appointment to see a doctor. You sound as if you are suffering from depression - and that is a BAD thing to keep ignoring.

My daughter went through exactly the same thing at uni, she was a very high achiever, got great A levels and had a wonderful future mapped out for herself, but she just couldn't deal with life at Uni.

In the end, a friend of hers contacted me, as she had been avoiding coming home, and I got her to the doctors. She was put on anti-depressants and got better eventually, but it was a long haul.

She also gave up uni - we had a long talk and she was really only putting up with it so as not to upset us. She is now in a good job, is very happy, and has managed without her degree.

Good luck with this, but please, please go to your doctor as soon as you can.

Answer 7

Try to relax.
If you can try to take some time of from Uni.
Go to a uni doctor, and check if you have depression or anxiety problems.
Ask them to give you a confirmation paper for your uni, and go to a psychologist.
Don't worry, am sure that many uni students are having the same problems...
Good luck.
Everything is going to be OK.
You will be fine in the end,!!!

Answer 8

First of all I'd put my problems in perspective. It's only University, it's not the end of the World.

You're bottling up all your problems, you need to speak to someone who can help. Why not try the Student Welfare Officer in the University, most have them?

Answer 9

Go to see your GP, try and sort your problems out and get him to write you a note. With this see your admin office get an mitigating Circumstances form and get an extention on that assessment.