Help with being able to see my kids I’m separated for 2 months?

Question

I’m separated for 2 months when ever I want to see my 3 kids I have to go true hell with my wife so I don’t pay child support but I pay tuition for my kids and health insurance what can I do ? thank you very much.

Answer 1

Go to court and get a visitation order....

Answer 2

First thing is to get a temporary visitation order. That is something that you can have right away until a final separation or divorce is entered. She can also get a temporary support order and temporary child support order as well. There is no need for you to "go through hell" to see your own children - you just need court intervention if the two of you can't work it out yourselves.

You also need to understand child support and the way it is supposed to work. Child support is separate from visitation. The courts do not accept no visitation as a reason to not pay support. Conversely they do not accept no support as a reason to deny visitation. Child support is for the children. It goes towards there expenses and is supposed to make sure that both the custodial parent and the non custodial parent share in the costs of raising children (food, clothing, rent, utilities, gas, etc.) Just because you have paid tuition and cover them with health insurance doesn't mean you don't have to pay your share of the necessities. That is why you need a lawyer to work out what the correct support amount might be.

Good luck.

Answer 3

If you don't already have visitation rights then you need to get this done legally. Perhaps NOT PAYING support is a sore spot with your EX. Legally you are in the wrong. Support and Visitation are two different issues in court. Don't give her a reason for you not to see the children. Pay your support as you must eventually do anyway. It's hard to catch up later. If you still can't see the kids then you must go back to court to have the judge correct the situation. Do not get mad and cause your EX additional problems. That part of your life is over. Think about the children and what is right for them. Good Luck

Answer 4

Contact an attorney. You probably need to go to court to get court ordered visitation.

But try to work it out with your wife first. Try to convince her that keeping the kids away from their dad doesn't benefit anyone, least of all the kids. But...not paying child support is not cool either. Sounds like the 2 of you may need to grow up, think about your children here, and what their parents fighting is doing to them.

Answer 5

Go to court, pay support, let the ex chew your head off and treat you like crap. Your kids need to see how a real man acts. Your kids need to know that their FATHER will put up with almost anything to see them. Your kids need to learn by example.
It will pay off in the long run if you just make every attempt at staying connected to them.
Be their Dad.
Be there, Dad.
J

Answer 6

Get a formal agreement worked out with her about child support--whether that is to include only health insurance and tuition or only straight child support or some combination. This makes it clear and legal and predictable for the two of you. If you can't get an agreement betw. you, betw. your lawyers, then next go directly to court to get it settled.

Child support or other types of financial contrubutions are completely separate from visitation rights and one should have absolutely nothing to do with the other. Not ever. Any judge will tell you, and her, that in a heartbeat and act and rule accordingly.

Now, it is said that: Poverty is violence done to a child.

If there's a question of whether your child is going to go without enough to eat, then that's violence through and through. Not negotiable.

As well, consider that she may deeply appreciate the health coverage--that's peace of mind for her in the kids' interests and well being. She may appreciate the tuition and the quality of education being provided.

BUT, she may also be super-stressed, then super-angry about how the rent is going to get consistently paid if she's not able to do it all on her own. The result regarding visitation: She then becomes super-punitive

Does she have to move? Then she should move to more modest means and more appropriate housing. (If she's living in a palace and can't make the upkeep, then there's NO question and there should be nothing to discuss as regards whether or not to move.)

Health care coverage you're providing? BRAVO, but the kids gotta' eat first, have a roof over their heads second. Consistently.

Private school tuition, how nice,... but take that tuition money and ensure that the kids are eating, adequately housed, and healthy (push come to shove, there's the school nurse, public clinic, etc.--unless, of course, a child has had a catastrophic illness or chronic illness, in which case the health care you're providing clearly is up there in importance.)

The kids are not going to be mentally damaged from attending public school. If the school's not so hot, then mom and/or you can pitch in and work with the kids at night, get a tutor, get involved in improving their public school, provide parental support/additional services to their teachers and the teacher's class, etc.

Visitation: Get your lawyer off his *ss and get a visitation agreement. Definitely speak to a judge about enforcing it if she's being obstructive. The kids need you in their lives and not on a willy nilly, epic parent-battle-basis.

Besides, it's been proven over and over and over again: One of the most damaging things you and your ex can do to your children is to have an acrimonious relationship or to otherwise speak ill of each other.

So get that support agreement and that visitation agreement signed, sealed, and delivered. Make sure that both are upheld and enforced, going back to court if necessary every time it's necessary. Let the judge do the yelling and screaming and threatening and struggling, and punishing.

In the end, having these two agreements filed with the court will take a lot of pressure and anxiety off of you and, in turn, the kids. It will also mean that a lot of power, control, and punishment will be automatically taken OUT of her hands to use against you.

Take care to not bad mouth your ex to the kids. At the very least if you can't say something nice, polite, or pleasant about her or to her, say nothing, emote nothing. It will certainly leave them feeling less burdened about your relationship to/with their mother. They will feel less responsible for the unhappiness and anger of both their parents. That's adult-sized responsibilities being laid on little children and it's wrong. Dead wrong.

Each of you don't have to keep a war up between you. But, if she keeps it up, let her. In the end, the kids will remember the score--about who did/said what to whom and when and where and how and why and over what--AND, most importantly, what kind of parent that then made you to THEM.

Don't run to the kids to "tell [your] side". Just let them consistently know you've been trying to see them, you want to see them, YOU need to see them. If they ask questions, always tell them the truth as is age-appropriate. Never lie.

How you handle this, handle yourself, how you manage to resolve this will determine whether or not YOU and your status and your esteem will rise or fall in their eyes, their memories, their opinions. Their respect. Their trust.

She will regret being remembered as the one who tried to keep YOU from THEM.

Get busy. You got work to do.

Answer 7

Court is your best option it should be what your kid wants your kids shouldnt be held from you they need both theyre parents if yu go to court you will get visitation right and the other parent can't argue a fathers love is one of the most important things fight for them!!!

Answer 8

You might have to go back to court and set up some thing to avoid a nasty mess.

If she can't co operate, the court needs to step in.

She needs to stop this......it will just hurt the kids in the long run

Answer 9

i think thats good that you want to see your children and you should your paying things for them that they need so you have rights to see them i think you should take it to court show proof of what your paying for and tell them you would like to have visitation rights ,