What would cause a man show no compassion for his lady?
Ladies! Have you been here? What am I to do?
I have been depressed for a long time and warned my man in the beginning that I wasn't ready to have a relationship. I just got out of a 4 1/2yr relationship and I told him I was too needy. He had a crush on me for 2 years before we dated and we have been together over a year now. He disregarded my warning and now hates when I get needy for his attention. On V-day he was away on a business trip and because he procrastinated he ordered flowers the day before. They never got to me. He knows I don't like flowers because they are played out. I asked him why flowers anyway? He said "Because I knew I procrastinated and It was all I could do!" He says he loves me but I don't see it. Am I confused?
2007-02-28 17:51:15 · 5 answers · asked by Starshika 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think until you take that time to get yourself better, you are never going to be happy in a relationship. You were trying to do that when he wanted to go ahead anyway and have the relationship without any regard for what you needed. That is not very considerate. He was being very selfish and you were still too weak to have the relationship which is now having its effect on things. I suggest that you think this through carefully, and consider doing what you need to do for YOU now. If you need to take that time and get yourself strong, do it. Don't ask him, explain to him that it is your decision, it is something you must do, and that is that. You really need to finish taking care of YOU. It is not going to be easy. Try to get some counseling to help you through this very difficult time, because you may need it. Good luck and my prayers are with you.
2007-02-28 19:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have accepted the flowers graciously. At least he sent something and made an effort. You know you have a problem with being needy and depression. When those feelings come over you why not sometimes try to comfort yourself by taking a bubble bath or doing something special to make yourself feel better. It's not healthy to always look to your partner to fix the way you feel. It's a lot of pressure on the other person. Choose your battles wisely and don't let the little things mess with you. It sounds like he is trying to make you happy. Be thankful for the things he does and talk to him about the things you feel you still need that he is not providing for you. Other people cannot make us happy inside or with ourselves. They can bring us moments of happiness or comfort, but you must try to find true happiness within yourself.
2007-03-01 13:18:25 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sista, you have to be fair. Yes, you told him that you were needy, but you continued in the relationship knowing that you were not totally healed from the last one, you know what?, you have to be honest with yourself, be fair to yourself and him, YOU need healing and you are not going to find it in another relationship, you got to get yourself by yourself and have a little talk. You didn't give yourself any healing time and so you know what?, No matter what this guy do for you, you are not going to be pleased because he is not the one you are trying to get over and you know what, Sis, he would do anything just to try and please you, but it won't be enough, because vessels with cracks in them can never be satisfied because everything you put in it will just run out. My Sista, hurt people will Hurt People, not meaning to, but if you have not been healed, you really don't have anything to give, only take and being in a relationship, you've got to be able to give even if nothing is given back and right now, you're not there, yet. Girl, get your healing so you can enjoy what this Man is trying to give you, ....LOVE. Heal the Hurt, Sista.
2007-03-01 02:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you get over the valentines mess up before you make any decisions on your relationship. Maybe you will see things in a different light. If not, you know what to do. You done it before.
2007-03-01 02:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by starflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope it aint your fault, its all his deal. If it were up to me, I'd take those flowers and shove it right up his ***
2007-03-01 01:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by Joe Capo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋