I caught my husbands affairs 2 months ago, yes the wh##e is also married and yes they met on christian dating site,my life and my kids life changed because of his insecurity.This is what he said to the councelor. No problem in bed,his the one who don't know how to please. Now while he was on this adultery mood, he took his wh##e to the place that sacred to me,like the beaches that I go to think. We even took our kids to those beaches, and now he used it to meet and be with her. He can't even understand why I felt disgusted,disturbed for what he did. He knows that I don't have feelings towards him anymore since he told me that he cares deeply for her, and my kids as well too. I'm amazed after 22 years of loving him unconditional love, just like that my love died. So if your spouse,did the same thing to you married people, will you do what I did,(even I know the answers ). Thanks all, no need to feel bad for my situation,cause itys not me who lost something,but him..
2007-02-28 17:37:52 · 12 answers · asked by islandgirl06 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you are with my ex husband. We were married for 21 years and after many lies and affairs, I just couldn't take it anymore.
One thing that you mention that I really don't think guys get, is the fact that he is taking her to places that are special to you and him. Mine did the same thing. That hurt me more than anything.
I thought they were special for me and him. Obviously not, he wanted his girlfriend to enjoy our special places. This probably sounds really stupid, but I get the local paper everyday. He started taking interest and taking it to work. I thought that was kinda strange. Found out he was taking it to her.
I go crazy if I don't read the daily paper. When we go on a vacation, I still get them and read every one of them when I get back. The paper that I paid for, he was giving to her everyday as a special thought I guess.
I'd just think that when you are having an affair, that you'd stay away from the places you and your spouse always went. You'd want to keep your spouse as far away as possible from the girlfriend.
But, it seems like men just want to make their girlfriends part of the family. I feel for you, I definitely know what you're talking about.
One more thing, mine even introduced his little w h o r e to the kids as one of his good friends. That's definitely a knife in the back.
2007-02-28 18:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by Karen H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing that probably hurts the most is the lack of respect he showed for your feelings. In my view your husband is a coward and without Honor.
If he wanted out of the marriage the only honest way is to discuss the issues, agree that no solution is possible, part and go on your separate ways. Your husband knew that he was wrong, made a unilateral decision and went behind your back, waiting for the truth to surface and allowing himself the luxury of not having to explain and merely to accept his punishment. Particularly bad when knowing that his punishment is to get exactly what he wants.
A coward.
2007-02-28 19:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to say...
But, I can understand the hurt of someone that goes through that...
I think that relationships are different to different people...and what you do as a result of what happened is based on whether or not he knew how you would feel about adultery....
So, I know that I wouldn't stick around...but my husband know that him being with another woman is not something that I could easily work through...
But, I wouldn't just give up...I would go through counseling...so that we could try to see if it would work....
I believe in fighting for the marriage...so I would at least try...even after I took some time to myself to pull myself together...
2007-02-28 17:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by LIFECOACH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, my husband and I talked about it in our pre-marital counseling with our minister. He knows the only thing that will end this marriage is if he is a cheater or a beater. And I won't leave. He'll just come home and find his stuff on the front lawn and the locks changed.
2007-02-28 17:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by n2mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shoot... i'm not married but if my boyfriend did sometime like that, I would be out faster then you can say cheating asswipe! Love CAN just die like that, he becomes an icon of a broken heart and a liar in your life. You ARE right, when they totally throw a knife in your back by introducing the new one to your old places, it's like you hurt more then before. I'm glad you're not one of these idiots out there saying, "but I love himmmm!!!" Please. Go out have fun without this idiot, he'll realize it one day!
2007-03-01 02:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by MissDivine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's 2 bad that they only think of themselves know 2 family's are in par ell. Been there done that. At least you found out .Go forward & don't look back.There is nothing to see.
Keep smiling Be Safe God Bless
2007-02-28 18:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I totally feel for you!! I totally understand exactly what you are feeling!! I went through the same thing. I divorced my ex and decided to start over. He isn't thrilled with it but he made his bed and has to sleep in it! Good luck!
2007-02-28 17:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say Hello single life, lets get down and party like it's 1989.
2007-02-28 17:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says that adultery is a good reason for divorce. so is abuse-good reason for divorce. Once he did what he did with the ******, he broke his vows to you. So you are so right, he lost something--that was very good. It is his loss-and your gain. Take care.
2007-02-28 17:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so, so sorry. Yes, love can just die, just like that. He sounds like a narcissist from h*ll and you're right to move on.
2007-02-28 17:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by Misery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋