How can you make a marriage last?

Question

We will get married soon, but sometimes we bump on each others ego. I love her trully and I am willing to change and sacrifice my priorities in exchange for peace, harmony and for a lasting marriage.

Answer 1

Discuss this with your partner too.
1.Look at your partner's positive qualities. No one is perfect.
2. Compliment one another often.
3. Keep sweet nicknames for each other -believe me it works.
4. Try to sort out the arguments before sleping.
5. Remember, two people in a relation can make/ break each other emotionally, thereby influencing their daily life. So, its worth
sorting it out.
6. Be open about sex & keep it alive & interesting. Good sex life is very important in marriage.
7. Spend some time just as a couple- like boyfriend-girlfriend. even if you have kids.
8. Each of you must have hobby/ carreer/ interests .that help each of you develop as a person.
9. Marriage is a union of two individuals, growing together- remember you are still two individuals. keeep your love, your unity ,but also build on your individual strengths. if you completely submerge your individual identity completely & become mrs/ mr so& so with no hobbies--then soon the marriage will be less enjoyable & a burden.
10. Be humble. Ego is less important than love, togetherness & peace. If the other person is more egoistic, put it across to them in a gentle but clear manner.
11. Keep communication lines open. Celebrate birthdays, anniv, important days. Give gifts to one another.

Answer 2

Congratulations- it sounds like you have your head in the right place and already have your priorities in order--now, does your fiancee' have the same set of standards? Is she willing to give way to allow you to get your way sometimes? Is she willing to sacrifice for the sake of the marriage? Because if you say you don't know-- then don't say I do, because marriage cannot survive with just one partner willing to do all the giving in....I'm married a long time and we take turns taking one for the team or there is no team. So, think long and hard about her ego and has she given in to you on occasion, and if you don't know, you need to have a heart to heart talk about this-- and if she's willing, you may want to see a marriage counselor BEFORE marriage---and I'm serious.....good luck to you....you will make a great husband I just hope the girl you picked will make a great wife for you.

Answer 3

It's true, I am with a person of that culture where they still do that stuff. And yes, they are told that love will come later. Some of them do grow love or instantly have love or stay out of fear of becoming an outcast. Doesn't matter if it's love or arranged love they all have bad apples. Yes, they do cheat sometimes but both types experience this so it's not one or the other. I would also have to agree with you arranged marriages work out for the better because their are expectations that the couples have to live up to. In love marriages if the love fades away it's too easy to just wipe your hands and walk away.

Answer 4

One of the first things to do before getting married is to go to at least 6 sessions of marriage counseling. This is a sure way to find each others hang-ups right away. You can be sure if either of you come from divorced parents that baggage will come with you.. Marriage is hard work and sacrifice. You will not ever change the person that you are getting married to. Whatever habits the person has now that annoy you, will be magnified after the marriage. Don't live with either set of parents. Compromise. Respect each other in public and private. Never go to bed angry at each other. Good sex is not the reason to get married. The person you marry should be your best friend and intellectual partner. Agree on religion and what religion to raise the children before marriage. Your spouse is not going to look slim and sexy 24 hrs. a day after about 2 years, so you can't just discard him/her for another version. My husband and I have been married going on 36 years. We have shared being poor, lonely, the death of a child, being separated by thousands of miles for at least a year and the death of many close family members. Now we are enjoying our grandchildren and the success of our children as well as their failures but we do it together as a team.
In marriage, one person should not be thinking about "me first". I wish you the very best and am by no means judging you in any way because I know nothing of your actual situation.

Answer 5

I am glad that you love her truly and are willing to change...but if she loves you truly you shouldn't need to change. Ego bumps are not a problem, how you deal with them can be. You both have to be really honest about what is important to you, what you are willing to postpone or give up for the sake of the marriage, etc. For example, would you be willing to move to a new state for a job opportunity she has? Would she be willing to move for you? You shouldn't have to sacrifice the really important things or you will eventually end up feeling like she kept you from something.

Answer 6

I think you can make a marriage last when you have two people who really want it to work and that plan on being in for the long haul. The problem with that is that you never really know what the other person is thinking and if they are as devoted as you are. They may tell you they want forever, but really have other plans or stipulations in the head. I have been married almost three years and I think marriage really takes a lot of work even if your deeply in love there is constant compromising. You can't just consider how things affect you, but how they affect the two of you.

Answer 7

That is how it is supposed to be on both sides. To make a marriage last, remember, your vows are indicating your committment to each other. Please plan on going out on "dates" with your spouse. Each week if possible, every two weeks if needed, or if money is really tight, once a month. "cause whe the kids start coming, you will need to have that time just for the two of you. So it's good to start now. It doesn't have to cost a lot either. A walk in the park, or on the beach, a picnic, etc. are fun things to do together. And, allow each other to have some "chill time" to do your own thing once in awhile. She can go shopping with the girls, you can go to a game, or bowling with the guys. You can also "double date" with another couple once in awhile too. Just please be there for each other, communication is so important. You are marrying the one who is your best friend. I wish the two of you the best. Take care.

Answer 8

First of all, you both have to have total respect for one another. You have to understand that marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100.

Marriage is not all wine and roses. It's hard work. It's dirty laundry, screaming kids, bills, broken down cars, bad hair days, loads of dishes, the flu and flooding basements.

But marriage is also a constant companion, someone to cry with, someone to laugh with, hysterical afternoons, romantic evenings, and loving nights.

Marriage is about commitment through the hard times as well as the good.

If you both commit that you will work everything out, that nothing is worth giving up on the best relationship of your life, then you can make it through thick or thin.

But if you're more worried about how marriage helps you, then it won't work. Because as soon as it gets hard, it's no longer good for you, and you quit.

Answer 9

Sacrifice is the wrong answer. Understanding is. When you "bump into each others egos" try tell ing her that I am sorry our egos are not getting along. What can I do to fix the situation. t's not a compromise as she will see true empathy and will calm down, open up, and tell you. Remember Marriage is not a sacrifice, it's a bond... LOVE her

Answer 10

I think to make a marriage last you need to always remember what brought you together in the first place. Never forget how to talk to one another, always listen to what the other has to say and expect to be listened to in return. Don't hold grudges, once a fight is over then it's over. Always remember the other person and always think about how your actions affect them and vice versa. Appreciate one another, every single day you are together, you never know when you might lose them and regrets are the hardest to live with. Trust them with your life, tell them your deepest fears and darkest secrets. Love them, but love yourself too. Don't change who you are or compromise yourself for the sake of keeping someone. If they are the right person you won't need to change a thing.

i think going on dates is good too.
My partner and i are always going on dates, even after two years! It's keeps the magic alive and provides plenty of memories to talk and laugh about.

Enjoy your wedding day and i wish you all the best for the future.

Answer 11

Marriage has a better chance when it is right. So, before you head first into it, make sure that this girl is REALLY the right one. I would recommend some pre-marital classes, which will help ou to discuss difficult questions BEFORE you walk down the aisle. Your sacrifices are noble, but at what expense? You don't want to become resentful because you lose yourself while trying to please another. I think compromises are better than sacrifices, that way both parties feel like they are being represented in the outcome. Definitely get some counseling! Best of luck to you!