My ex left me to be with the mother of his child a one night stand before we met. NOW, when I was with him he was depressed even suicidal about this, I was there for him unconditionally. I told him he should have been a part of his child life. But get this, when he went to meet the child he developed strong feelingd for the mother. She made it very clear she wanted him and that he missed out on his childs life for 2 yrs. He turned so cold to me and acted like I never existed and even more so, he talked about me and devalued me. NOW, I pretty much saved his life, brought him to his daughter and look at how I got treated. I told him off in every way, and he wants nothing to do with me. HE and the mother of his child are no longer an "item", but they remain freinds and when I tried to confront him about us, somehow she meddles in and calls me to defend him>>?! They are not together because he found out she lied to him about some serious things about her childhood. WHY is he still
2007-02-28 17:05:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
defending her, they are like allies. And he can hurt me so badly. SOmeone who was there for him. I dont get it. ITs been months now and we dont speak. I feel like she manipulate him in a way, but even though she showed her true colors, he still remains friends with her, b/c he tells her everytime I called him and so on. I feel like she won in the end, maybe she didnt get him, but she destroyed our relationship. I thought for sure he would understand what her intentions were and what she was all about, after some time. I am just hurt still and very confused. I cry alot because I dont understand. We never fought, had a great relationship, besides his depression. He was caring, and respectful to me, until he went back to that situation. IT just hurts. WIll I ever hear from him again, I guess I just want him to realize it was wrong & an apology. PLease dont judge me and tell me do you care,he messed with my head, all the suice talk, just to treat me like crap after, like it never mattered
2007-02-28 17:12:29 · update #1
I dont have that I need to be a "hero" issue. thats not why i helped him, i told him he should talk to a professional about his depression but he wanted to talk to me, and he scare me several times. He even planned it out, I tried my best to help him because I cared about his life. Would you walk away?? And if he did kill himself how would you feel?? It was horrible. I feel he did mentally abuse me. I did go for therapy. I just want respect and acknowldgement for what he did, he is alive and well now and plays these messed up games. IfI knew he was a player, I would have never allowed myself to be out in the sitaution. He told me it was a mistake, this one night stand. So please forgive me, when someone tells you over and over they want to die and then walk around like they never did this, it can ,mess with someones head.
2007-02-28 17:38:48 · update #2
Girl I had to get some popcorn, and a soda while I read this. You are too good for him. You shouldn't be talking about all you've done for him. Please find you someone who will do everything for you. Yes they have a kid together, but that is no excuse to turn your back on someone you "love". So think about it did he love you? I know you love him, but love works both ways. Yes she came in and acted like a whirlwind tearing the 2 of you apart. Did that happen for a reason that you have yet to see yet. God has a plan for you just wait and see. You just have to let him go for now if it is meant to be he will come back, but if he does be careful in choosing if you will take him back or not because he has developed a habit of hurting you, and believe it or not that boosts a mans ego. they love to see us crying over them. DON'T CALL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let him sweat let him think you have moved on he will hunt you down. Also do you talk to her, or is it him telling you what she said? If you find him bringing her up alot, and putting you down it is likely that he is just trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let him get the best of you.
2007-02-28 17:13:03 · answer #1 · answered by Princess B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem between him, his ex, and child. You are a third party. Move on, better yourself. The problem is his not yours, you did what you could. You are better off knowing you helped him, whether he sees or realizes it or not. Some day he may be thankful for what you did. But your time with him is over, and there seems to be nothing you can do about it. You know that somewhere deep down this fact is true. Set a course for your life and leave him behind. Be thankful you are not the one with the heavy burden of his problems. Take care. Enjoy your life.
2007-03-01 01:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always wonder when women seem to want a man who has behaved as you claim he has. I'd be happy I found out what he was like, really like, before I ended up married and with a child.
He is the only one who was in a relationship with you. She was not, what she did has nothing to do with you. He is the one who went back. He is the one who chose her. He should be there for his child and he has to get along with her for the child's sake.
When I hear a woman and I'm a woman, blame the woman for what the man chose to do, I just don't get it. The woman didn't cheat on you, he chose to go after her and leave you. He was the only one in a relationship with you, not her. If my husband cheated on me and I were married. I don't give a damn about the women. He would be the one I'd be missed at, becuase he'd be the one who decided to not honor his commitment to me.
Is he all that you think and/or feel you are worth? If not, then be happy you found out his true nature before you got married or pregnant or both. You can't change him. You don't own him.
Don't help people with problems if you expect to be appreciated for it and loved because of it. It's nice you helped him. But we can't live expecting others to reward us for kindness, to love us because we helped them when they were down. It only leads to being hurt when you live that way.
Believe enough in you to be happy to have found out his true nature and look for a man one who doesn't sleep around. A man with high morals who saves that level of affection for marriage. A man who'll get to know you and you him. Becuase the minute you make a relationship sexual, you lose out on really getting to know them, because they then in most cases want to please you, so they show you the side of them they want you to see.
There's many good men, honorable men looking for an honorable woman. Find one of them!
2007-03-01 01:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by Mountain Bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put him in your past. Read something about being codependent.
2007-03-01 01:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by peaches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can only hurt you if you'll let them.
2007-03-01 01:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by waway_bato2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋