difference of opion with kids?

Question

my husband and i have just had our first baby
(2months) i would like to have another within the next 5 years. but all of the sudden he says that he doesn't want anymore, ever. What should i do??

we have been married for 2 years, and before we were married we discussed how many children we would have, we both came to the conclusion that we wanted 3

i am one of the lucky ones, my daughter is 2 months and she is already sleeping through the night she goes down at 9.30 and sleeps through till about 7, 7.30. It is not really a financial concern we own our own house and are bringing in around 200,000 a year between the two of us.

Answer 1

Give him some time hon, be patient, he will come around to your way of thinking. There is just a lot of changes going on in your life right now. Once he has had time to adjust, he will look into your childs eyes and know that he wants another. There is nothing wrong with having only one child but in my opinion everybody should have a brother or sister to grow up (and fight) with. I would say in a 2 years tops he will have a change of heart.

Answer 2

Let him know that you would definitely love to have another baby. You have plenty of time to decide to have another child. For now enjoy the one you do have. Studies suggest that children develop best when they have a sibling that is either 1-2 years older or 6-8 years older than they are. They suggest that having another child so that they are separated by between 3-5 years develops tension and rivalry between the children.

This explains the behavior that children exhibit around 6 years of age when they exclaim that they will "have a baby brother/sister!!"

Good luck. Talk to your husband about how you feel. Surely you've shared so much in your life, especially with a beautiful new baby. He will eventually see the joy that children bring and want another.

Answer 3

Honestly, two months after my first child was born I didn't really want another. I was too exhausted, stressed, disconnected from my husband, etc. to even want to consider it. Wait until the baby is 6 months old, sleeping through the night, is more interactive, etc. before you talk about this again. My children are not quite two and a half years apart, and I think right now that we are done, but who knows how I'll feel in another few months?

Is it possible that it is a financial concern? You don't always realize how expensive it is to have kids until you actually have them. My mom says she and my dad talked about having 4 kids before they were married, but she had to really work on my dad to get him to agree to #3 after the first two of us were here.

Answer 4

Why does he not want anymore??? Is this overwhelming to him and is he young? He may want more as this one gets older and your husband matures more. Give him some time to get used to this one first! I think it will only be a matter of time . Do not give up hope. Enjoy your first child first and then think about another a few years down the road. I think it is much better spacing them apart and not having them too close together anyways. Did you guys discuss children at all before marriage? If you did how many did he want?

Answer 5

A new baby is a stressful time for both parents. Give him some time to get used to having one child around before discussing the option of another. He's probably just trying to get his head around the new bub and your hitting him with the next five years. Slow down and deal with the four in between before you get too far ahead. Wait until your new baby is about 2 - 3 years old and you've both got a bit of a handle on things then discuss it with him again. You never know, by then he might approach you about another one!

Good luck and congratulations on your new baby.

Answer 6

Just give him time to adjust to this baby. All men say that when they have a new baby because the bay cries at night and there's so much to do for the baby. My fiance said the same thing after our son was born. His excuse was that he didn't think he could love another child as much as he loves our son and he didn't want to show favoritism to our son. But I think he'll come around eventually. (both of our men lol)

Good Luck

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Five years is a long time and he could change his mind. A baby two months old is time consuming and he may be feeling left out. The last thing on his mind is having another baby that takes his sweetie away from him. He had you all to himself before. Don't push - he may come around.

Answer 9

Give him some time they say that after the 1st one let the baby get 2 or 3 then he'll be ready too ...

Answer 10

Don't worry about the next baby, just enjoy the one you have right now!! I also wouldn't worry about what your hubby is saying about not having any more kids, right now it's probably more sleep deprivation talking than anything else.