She was acting as a sarrogate mother and recently ahd a miscarriage and I'm not sure what to say. I'm sure that she is sad and I don't want to make it worse by saying the wrong thing. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.
2007-02-28 16:30:35 · 16 answers · asked by glove 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just let her know that you are there for her- sometimes just "being there" is more important than trying to say something. There is a story about a woman who lost her husband- many people came over and "talked a lot" and tried to give her advice- one person cae over and just sat on the couch with her and allowed her to be quiet, and only talked when the mourning woman wanted too, Which was the person that helped her the most? The one who allowed her to be silenced and just loved her.
2007-03-01 04:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that you are there for her when she needs to talk and if she needs to cry than you give her the time to express herself. Be a good listener rather than a good talker is my advice to help your friend. I've had 2 miscarriages myself and I understand how your friend feels. Please don't ever tell your friend that she's still young and pregnancy can happened again. When I had my miscarriages alot of people tell me this " Well..you're still young, you'll get pregnant again" come on...it's not what I want to hear.
2007-02-28 17:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I miscarried right before Christmas and I preferred that no one say anything about it at all. I knew that people would be "sorry" and I knew that there wasn't anything I could have done, so to me there wasn't any sense it having it repeatedly brought up. But that's just me. I have found that I am a lot different from most women in that regard.
2007-02-28 16:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by DeAnna B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides expressing your sorrow, you can't listen enough if she wants to talk. She just needs you to be there. Sometimes the less said the better. And I doubt seriously you'd make it worse. You'll find words to respond when she starts talking about it. When you don't know what to say a hug is always appropriate.
2007-02-28 16:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well just to let you knwo miscarriages are usually a sign of something wrong with baby and the body naturaly aborts it. when my friend had a miscarriage thats we talked about, and jsut let her know if there is anything you can do you'll be there for her. although she is proably taking it hard, it wasnt her child so in a weird sence that actually makes things a little easier.
2007-02-28 16:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by jjsoccer_18 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes, words cannot convey how one feels and sometimes you might not find the right words to console a person with.
Sometimes your silence , presence and comfort is just enough for your friend to know you feel for her or you are grieving with her.
Just try to be there for her whenever she needs a friend or a shoulder to cry on.
All the best.
2007-02-28 16:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by ggoldiee23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that you`re always there if she wants to talk about it. I guess when she`s ready to talk about it, then she will. My mom's best friend had a miscarriage; she had twins, and she had to push the babies out. Yeah she never brings it up, so neither does my mom. She doesn't want to upset her. Plus my mom just had baby; she doesn`t want to rubb it in..ya know. I don`t it`s hard i know that.
2007-02-28 16:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by Brooklynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow her lead and let her know it's OK to mourn her loss.The thing that bothered me the most after my miscarriage were people acting like it wasn't that big of a deal just because the child wasn't "here."To me he/she was just as much a person as you or me.
2007-02-28 16:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by MISS K.I.A. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went threw the same and it is hard to deal with. just be there for her and let her know that is she ever needs some one to talk to that your there. And also try to keep her busy because if she has to much time to think it could be worse on her.Right now she needs you more then ever.
2007-02-28 16:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by christina b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you are sorry for what happend and if she needs anything not to hesitate to let you know. Just be her friend with a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. Take her out for a nice lunch to cheer her up.
2007-02-28 16:35:00 · answer #10 · answered by MRod 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋