I do not know what is wrong with me exactly. I do not mean to sound conceited but I am not a bad looking guy, I am in great shape, I'm witty, funny, intelligent. But I am 23 and still single, i have not once been in a relationship. This stems from a long deeply nested fear of rejection. But as i said it is deeper than that. I seem to sabatage any potential relationships for myself, by simply not persuing, still fearing rejection even though I know I wouldn't be rejected. There is a girl right now, beautiful, just like me in our interest. She works in a nail shop one of my family members frequents and that is how I heard of her. I met her and later found out from my aunt that she thinks I am extremely cute and funny, even asked if I was dating anyone. Now I really, really, sincerely want to ask her out to eat. But this, and forgive my french, ******* fear is like a roadblock. Their is a saying,"Strangers give the best, uninhibited advice." Please lay it on me. I need it.
2007-02-28 16:28:06 · 5 answers · asked by Cain 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
well I think I'm the female you... I'm 23 and also never been in a relationship... and you know I think I'm fairly attractive and funny etc... but what I can see is that people can sense the fear, and that makes them nervous to pursue relationships with people like us... I say go for it coz this girl has basically given you the go ahead... don't go and ask her straight out if that's what you're nervous about... just create situations where you can spend time together and get to know each other until you are comfortable enough to tell her and ask her out properly... my issue has always been that if there are (for some strange reason) any guys who did/do like me out there , they are obviously the shyest creatures around... and I just wish they would let me know that they like me... coz it does suck thinking no one likes you... this girl wants to know if you like her... so show her... don't pass up an opportunity like this, its the perfect chance to get over this fear or to at least confront it head on! I wish you the best luck... and would love to know how it all ends... maybe email me on my profile page!
2007-02-28 18:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by tarzanatvw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she thinks your cute and funny that is a good sign. Woman like men with a sense of humor but don't show her thats all you are cause she might not take you seriously. Use humor to make light of the situation like... Drop by the nail salon a tell her you were in the area looking for a woman with a fresh set of nails to walk through the park to let them dry and she was the lucky lady! It might sound corny but it beats the normal dinner and movie! We like new things and we like honesty. Plus you'll have plenty time to chat on your walk. She might have something already planned but I bet she'll give you a rain check. She sounds curious so I doubt she'll turn you down.
2007-02-28 18:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by Starshika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you thought about what exactly it is that you are afraid of? it's silly: the fact that ONE girl MAY not want to date you. there are tons of girls, and if you've described yourself accurately, you should have no problem with girls being interested in you. if one rejects you, so what? there are more, and apparently she wasn't the right one for you anyway. if she is, she'll come around. you need to have faith that you will find the right person whether they or you like it or not, and you need to remember this: you will be rejected by every girl that you never ask out. go for it.
2007-02-28 16:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by Adam G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i live my life actually the same. But when i reaches 23, i really think deep. how long will i be like this? i took the risk. reject me or not, i told her how much i liked her. then i realized that my fear is triggered by my thinking on how people (specifically she) will think of me if... (you know what i mean.)
Just do it (whatever it is that you need to do) and think about the outcome later!
2007-02-28 16:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by waway_bato2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
decide something you have an interest in, whether its something you think of is stupid. working example, knitting, or the ambience, drawing, or perhaps style. something you rather like. stumble on a team or a club, or perhaps in basic terms some different people who've the comparable interest. the least confusing thank you to try this's thru college yet once you're no longer in school this is a volunteering team. you will certainly sense extra comfortable around those human beings when you consider which you have a basic interest. it is going to be extra basic so you might chat with them and in case you start to sense apprehensive around them you are able to continuously in simple terms deliver the communique returned on your basic interest. in case you sense apprehensive, tell them which you get apprehensive once you're attempting to make new acquaintances, tell them you're shy, that way they're going to understand that in case you seem quiet its no longer something incorrect with them and additionally you nonetheless opt for to be acquaintances. (from time to time human beings mistake shyness for snobbyness, fantastically in case you're beautiful). sense of community is amazingly significant in absolutely everyone's existence. persons are happier in the event that they sense like they are area of a team and function a social help community of their lives. It wont be hassle-free, yet once you attempt you will discover one or make one for your self. in simple terms keep attempting. As for facebook... do no longer trouble too plenty approximately it. persons are extra in contact in how their very own web site seems that what they think of of yours. guy or woman to guy or woman interplay is plenty extra significant than facebook. concentration on making or turning out to be a member of a team in the real international and your facebook will finally end up reflecting that. in the event that they such as you in individual, they are unlikely to look at your facebook and settle directly to no longer be acquaintances with you anymore. in simple terms say you do no longer use it that plenty. I do loads of issues that i do no longer positioned on my facebook because of the fact playstation facebook can use each and all of the pictures you place up and now they very own instagram too. right here quote is from the source under: "you grant us a non-unique, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-loose, international license to apply any IP content cloth which you place up on or in connection with facebook (IP License)."
2016-10-02 03:40:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋