What do you do when there is no more reason to live?

Question

I just have not been well. Not well at all. My last option just closed on me...they promise to restrain me if I attempted suicide. Now I don't know what to do anymore. Everything I do goes back against me. Everything I don't do hurts me also. Everything I say is useless. I am suffering and don't know what to do despite everything I've tried.

I've taken medication, had therapy, ran away from home, stayed home from school, confronted the problem head on, cried, prayed, tried changing my attitude and looked at things optimistically, cried some more, seeked helped, poured out my heart, tried my hardest to keep fighting, etc...and so on.

Now I am really really exhausted. What else can I do? Is there any hope left? O please I feel like I am on the verge of insanity.

I don't want anymore therapists or stupid drugs or talking with close ones anymore. No one understands me or can help. Those that can help are not willing to help me.

The last option that was closed to me. That was going to be my last and only option but I can't kill myself. I don't want to hurt my friends by killing myself nor do I really want to die. I can not and am not allowed to kill myself. I feel like I have no freedom to do what I want with my life.

The person that can help me is not willing to help me because they think I'm insane.

Then the actual question is what do you do when you have no options left?

For now I am just sitting here. Doing nothing. And having my parents yell at me for not doing anything.

Answer 1

"what do you do when you have no options left?"

Just keep breathing for now. Many people live under terrible times for years and years with no way out; then things change for the better and they're actually glad they went through that. (and sometimes they're not glad.) But generally speaking, hard times make for strong people.
If you can't live a first-rate life right now, then live a second-rate life until things change for you.
You're here for a reason. You have friends for a reason.

Answer 2

I feel exactly the same way as Rachel. (Plus, the Alchemist really is a good book, though it may or may not be helpful.) If you want to email me, I will try to understand ([e-mail]). I don't know if I can be of any help, but I can try.

From your writing, which is very articulate by the way, you seem like a very intelligent person.

I did notice in your writing that many of the actions you listed focused on "doing" to resolve your situation. You say "Everything I do goes back against me... and you don't know what to do despite everything I've tried." Seeking help, running away, changing attitudes, praying, crying, keep fighting.... you have done so much, no wonder you feel really exhausted, and on the verge of insanity (although your writing is actually very sane).

From what you wrote, it seems like you really need a Vacation from your Life (I don't mean suicide, because that's permanent). Going to school, staying at home, running away, doesn't seem like it is helping. It sounds like you might need a completely different environment. This may sound strange, but I think it might be helpful for you to go some place (probably in or near Nature), where you could just Rest from Everything, and instead of "Doing" things there, you could just be "Being". (I think vonhiggin's great idea of using your 5 senses is part of it.)

Because I believe there is a place inside everyone's Self that is serene, and capable of true Love, Happiness, Hope, Health, Meaning, and Reasons to live. Everybody can possess those things - although obviously, most people do not. This place exists inside Everyone, but of course, most of us haven't been to it. Most of us don't even believe it exists. So we're not taught how to look for it, let alone go there to seek the answers to the questions of our lives and Selves. I suppose some people have called it, living from your Heart or Soul. But it's hard to go to that place, because everybody else is going somewhere else to look for their happiness & reason to live, and telling you to go & do something else to get it.

I agree with you about therapists and drugs - although the latter is worse, both of them are often not very helpful.

I do have some questions that I was curious about:
1) What was the "last option that just closed on you"?
2) What was the "problem you confronted head on"?
3) You say that, "Those that can help are not willing to help." Why?

If you write me, I'll try to understand. If you want me to write first, I can do that, too, but you'll have to ask me a question.

Someone once said, "The night is always the darkest, just before the dawn." Please take care, and have faith that you can make it through this time. When you do, your life will always be better after that. That was my experience, at least - and that's what other people have said & written about their own experiences, too.

Answer 3

I am not sure what problems you are going through and how you can be helped and how its being denied to you. All I can say, take a holiday if you can. Meet new people. Try to take your mind off things and trust me, there's probably a solution that is out there and you just have to take the chance and try it out.

Things change eventually. And till then keep your mind off what's troubling you. Don't bother with therapy or drugs if you don't want to. Be strong. Even if you think all the problems you are going through right now is due to a weakness in you or whatever, it doesn't matter. You take it strong from now. Things might seem terrible, awfully unfair but everything will get better. It's your life. You have the right to live it how you want and since I don't know what your problems are this is all I can say, I guess.

Answer 4

There is ALWAYS hope, it's human nature. It's okay, drugs aren't always helpful in situations like this, but are you really this lost? do you really have absolutely nothing to live for? no one to love? no one who loves you? do you not care that people will miss you at all? Even strangers will be distraught, when I find out about suicides, I always feel so bad about it. I feel sad for the one who commited suicide, and I feel as empty as the people who loved that person. Then I even feel guilty, I wish that I could have been there. What happened to you? What happened to you that has put you where you are today? I think many people go through situations where we just lose, lose, lose, and everyone seems to just be against us, and we're driven to this brink of insanity because we just DON'T know what to do or where to go. But, we can't stay there. That dark place, is so scary, and lonely, and painful, that it's unbarable. And I know I will NEVER go back. Sometimes life is going to be completely bland. Especially when You have to pull yourself up, and the road is empty for a while, things become so routine because there's no one to support you that it seems like nothing will EVER change. But it does. I promise you that. You've tried everything right? look at it for a minute, what have you learned? So you've tried to directly affect the problem, that didn't seem to work. Sometimes it doesn't but your life is precious and worth while, look at how many people want you to live. Don't let that be in vain. Just don't give up please. Please persist. Sometimes that is all it takes. Sometimes all you need is to WANT more than anything else to move on. Please, don't give up. You're in pain, but you're not alone, you're not the only one, many of us *self included* have been there. What happened? What or who has brought you to this place?

Answer 5

There's a limit to how bad or good things can get. You can only go a certain length going uphill before things can go downhill, but don't forget that there's length going downhill before things start going uphill as well. Like Thomas Edison said, "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

I remember when I almost commit suicide in the 7th grade because of the huge amount of pressure being put on me by almost all of the other kids in my class, and about half of the 8th graders as well. My parents found out before I could do anything, and I'm glad they did, because things only had gotten better since then.

Answer 6

I don't know if I can help you. But I'll try. It hurt to read what you wrote.

email me. Just check my profile and you can find out how.

And yeah, there is hope. But it is hard to get. Treating depression is a business, and results aren't required. Write me. Sounds like you don't have much to lose.

I'm sorry you feel so bad. Been there. Still there a lot of the time.

lighten up, ignore it for a bit. Go out and get a few breaths of fresh air and TRY to believe your life has a purpose, and even if you can't concieve or decipher what that purpose might be, don't fold it up without giving everything you can to the search.

Answer 7

You need to find a reason to live. The reason is you. You were put on this earth for a reason. You should try finding what makes you ahppy but can't seem to make into a reality. Make it into a reality. I am sure there is something deep down that you want to make of yourself. You have to be strong and stop looking as suicide as a way out for what ever it is that is making you feel this way. There are always options out there. If one door closes another opens. I used to feel so sorry for myself and wondered why am I here, I dont want to be here, I am this, I hate my life...and so on. Then one day, I went to a childrens hospital to see my friends niece who was dieing of cancer, and I felt horrible. To see all those kids that want to live and have to fight a horriblw illness everyday of their life!! Everytime I feel that way I think of them. Things are not perfect in this world, you haev to make the best of it. Whatever it is that makes you feel this way, deal with it and let it go. Maybe you should try volunteering somewhere, like a hospital and help someone, you will see things differently and maybe it will make u feel different too.

Best wishes and good luck to you.

Answer 8

Almost exactly one year ago I was nearly finished off by stress and anxiety. My expectations for myself were too "projected". I had to concentrate on the pleasures the here-and-now could provide to survive. I drew cartoons and mazes for hours on end. I doted on my cat Siwa, a stray that befriended me at the time my troubles were just starting. I made an effort to pay more attention to my senses: seeing, touching, hearing, smelling, tasting. All I can say is this last strategy helped the most. Let the cold rain fall on your head. Smell and taste the foul and the sweet. Look at the dawn and the sunset as often as you can. Listen to Mozart and Beethoven played by a real orchestra! Do it now and don't fear what others think of you.

Answer 9

I'm really sorry that you are having a hard time. But, taking your own life is not an option.
There is a great book by Paulo Coehlo called the Alchemist. It's about destiny, fate, and following your heart. It's not a self-help book. You should read it. It might help you.
To me, it seems like you just need to be loved. Find someone you can trust and build a healthy friendship with them.
Please do not take your life. There is always more than one reason to live.

Answer 10

First, I would say that suicide would hurt your family and friends more than you hurt right now...it is not fair to put them though it.

You may not be happy now but you could be next week. You are trying lots of things, they dont always work, but in trying you are getting closer to your answer.

Maybe your expectations of life are too high or just unrealistic.

You need to stop listening to what people are telling you to do and do what you want, seek your own happyness and peace of mind. Only you can find it!

You have to ask yourself, "what is making me unhappy?", "what would make me happy?" then most importantly "what can I do about it?" and "is it realistic?". You have to find what works for you....only you really know the answer.